It had been coming for a while, but Friday finally saw my department, it's new team and a select members of the old one pack up their crates and move elsewhere. As with any break up, there were tears, tequila and the knowledge that even if you wanted to, you couldn't go back.
Literally. My pass ran out.
As I exited the building where I've spent the last nine months working, I popped my sunglases on to hide the unexpected tears. It's a bit odd. Having a job is a bit like being in a relationship.
The routine might get boring and there'll be curious moments where you wonder what else is out there, but ultimately you stick at it until you know for certain it's time to move on. Most importantly, even a shit job carries with it the little internal glow of daily reassurance that you - in whatever it is you do - are needed in some way.
But how to move on? Like boys, another company can catch your eye or hunt you down. Interviews are just a corporate form of dating, carried out either as a free agent or under a veil of secrecy so your current attachment doesn't find out.
You can be beaten to it, suddenly find yourself being let go. You can not have a choice. You can know what's coming and when, but trust me: no matter how many times you've looked forward to spending that first Monday morning in bed, nothing quite prepares you for the other kind of wake up for which no alarm is required. The one where it's 11am, you open your curtains, and see a string of completely empty week days ahead.
If jobs are like boyfriends then perhaps unemployment is like being single. Financially draining, a good excuse to get smashed on a school night...
...and to begin with, daunting as hell.
9 comments:
Daunting, but with the potential for something amazing to happen imminently... x
(Previous removed for typo.)
I think you make very good points here indeed!
Eeeeep. Brave new start. Do some volunteering for a while if you can it will keep your brain ticking over, be good for your cv and you might have a good time!
Ellie Rose xxx
Be brave Jo - you can do it! In your shoes, I'd be gibbering in the corner right about now, but you're better than I - stronger, more resilient and much, much younger.
I have a feeling in my water that something will be cropping up pretty soon anyway (either that, or my ancient bladder is jipping me again).
nerve-wracking like dating again but also massively exciting! and also without the potentially hideous first dates, right? however awkward an interview can be, at least you won't get too drunk and humiliate yourself or have food in your teeth. (..i hope.)
good luck! xx
Blonde - Yeah, got a few things potentially happening but it's a waiting game as to whether any of them will actually come through. BLEURGH.
Tenderhooligan - Why thank you.
Ellie Rose - Not a bad idea. I've given myself this week off to chill, but any longer and I might go a bit nuts. A little freebie stint might not be a bad idea.
Londonlass - I was gibbering in a corner last week, but now it's just a slow realisation that it's not a week off, it's potentially two, maybe more...and I like to work.
Cheeky hound - One would hope so. However, that would certainly be a good way to vet the fun potential of your future colleagues.
I've been there and am still there in a way. Just keep going is all I can say. It sucks but it will pass.
Absolutely true.
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