Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Oooh wet leggings #sorry

I love blogging, but sometimes it don't half get right on my noggin. I tell you why, listen close. If you're not blogging, I don't care. A blog apologising for not blogging is painful to read. It makes me want to click onto your blog and say 'Good, I'm glad you haven't been here, because you, my dear, are a boring sod when you are.' But I don't. I just get annoyed that they think I care. I know what you're thinking when you write it, but it's just one of those urges you have to surpass. You want to apologise for the fact you're not blogging every day, but in reality, there are a hundred more things more important going on in mine and your other readers' worlds. Namely, the next person down on my google reader who actually has something good to say.

Also, there's only three things that have ever made me delete content from this blog. One was a picture of an elephant having sex which I had in a post from about 2 years ago. It attracted an unhealthy amount of daily visitors (we're talking hundreds) all searching for elephant fornication. I took it down and embraced the four remaining readers like they were my own.

The next was snooping real life friends. They read, they didn't like, I removed. Done.

The final thing is more recent. I have a strange, returning reader. He (I'm assuming its a he) is from Germany. Hamburg, to be precise. Every few days, without fail, he types "sleepingeyes" into google. Although this week there was one variation where he typed in the whole web address. Then he goes to the search box and types in "wet", or occasionally "leggings", often "Oooh", hoping to find a photo that I took of myself in a changing room, mocking the fashion world's worryingly lengthy obsession with wet look leggings. He returns week after week, searching for the same photo which has now disappeared and been replaced with a 'sod off, you dirty German perv' type message.

I wish he would stop visiting this blog. He makes me feel all unclean in the same way that hashtags on Twitter make me want to try and get in the Guinness Book of Records for most number of magazines balanced on a girls head, just so I can compete for the Big Prize for Pointlessness, too. No one reads the hash tag pages. You'll know this because you'll find yourself adding a #hashtag to your tweet, but you'll never have checked where it's going. Or maybe you did once, before you got bored.

#Rant over.

Let's be friends again, blogging.

(Not you, German.)

19 comments:

ess jay said...

block his i.p address

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Aha! Of course. Now bear in mind I still use a standard blogger template when answering my next question: How?

Scarlett Parrish said...

Any good stalker would right click/save as.

What? Whaaat?

It's okay. I won't bother you. The nice man with the restraining order told me not to.

cynicalscribble said...

That first bit, people who apologise for not blogging...

*applauds*

em said...

I wish you could find out WHO the people are - I have someone in London who visits my blog about 3 times a day. Their record was 6 times last saturday...... (God bless sitemeter)
But wtf are they expecting to find? Its not like i blog that regularly in the first place.

Freaky about the wet leggings search though!

Hails said...

I appreciate that the majority of people aren't waiting around for a blogger to post again, but for some people (like me!) the blog "community" is actually a valuable little support network, particularly when I'm away travelling and feeling a bit isolated or whatever. It's really nice to get emails and comments when I haven't posted for a few days, asking if I'm OK, what I'm up to, where I am, etc.

And since my own last blog post was of a "sorry, I'm taking a break for a while" nature, I felt the need to suggest another point of view when I read this post! No, I certainly don't think that it matters to you or indeed the majority of people who follow my blog. But the core group of regular readers, the ones who always comment, and with whom I've formed relationships ranging from casual acquaintances to close friendships, do notice. When there are long gaps, I get emails and calls, and requests for new posts. I think it's only polite to explain why I'm not currently blogging, for those who want to know. And indeed, those who don't want to know can very easily skip to the next blog in their feed!

I've been on the other side of it too, when a girl I became reasonably close to through blogging suddenly stopped, out of the blue. She was never heard from again, despite dozens of readers leaving comments, and sending emails asking if she was OK. I still wonder what happened to her, and if she's alright. An "I'm bored with this, sorry, end of blog" post would have been welcomed by many readers, and if she were to return one day and just pick up as if she was never away, I know I wouldn't be the only one to find it decidedly odd if she *didn't* acknowledge the absence!

I think it depends on what you use blogging for - and for me, as well as many others, it's about forming relationships as well as sharing my writing and experiences. And with "real life" friends, you'd be likely to say "sorry I haven't been in touch for ages, I've been...", wouldn't you? :)

Sorry for rambling. Just some thoughts!

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Scarlett - Worryingly enough, thats what I thought. Like if you want the photo so much, just save it to your PC. Doh. Or favourite the blog post so you can just click onto it every day. Don't go round the houses searching for it, this is 2009 fa gods sake!

Cynical - Why thank you, thank you, I'm here all week.

em - I quite like it when people come back a lot and I can see them reading through the archives for an hour or something. Like woo! You like my writing. or something.

Hails - I get what you're saying, and yes the odd 'Sorry I'm away so much' blog to reassure the readers you're not completely deaded is fair enough. I do get that, anad agree with your reasoning. Particularly if you're travelling. But really, I'm on about the people who post maybe twice every two weeks, and each of those posts is explaining why they're so busy / didn't have time / have nothing to say / can't be bothered to post / have writers block. It's like, blogging's supposed to be fun. Just post when you've got something to say, and if you don't...then don't. It seems like there's bloggers out there who genuinely feel like its their moral duty to write 5 posts a week, and if they don't, or can't find anything to write about, they post about how they're not posting for the sake of it, or to keep numbers up. Ya get me. And this isn't a dig at anyone inparticular by the way, it's just an observation.

This blog was conceived for ranting after all, I'm just getting back to my roots ;)

Lapa said...

I´m glad it is not me!

once I was your taget.

Mjohnson said...

I've had to stop myself writing on of these recently. A blog about blogging is like a dull snake feeding on it's own dull tail into an enternity of dullness.

em said...

yeah, i guess you are right, but 6 times in one day seemed a little obsessive to me.....
i do wish i knew who it was though, just out of pure nosiness more than anything......

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Lapa, indeed you were. And look how that worked out.

mjohnson - I don't mind blogs about blogging. Hence being totally fine about writing one here. Blogging about not blogging, on the other hand, now that puts me in a pickle.

em - Set up some kind of trap. Leave some wet look legging type photo hanging about, see if they take the bait.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Initially, I was going to comment that blogging rules state you cannot pick and choose your readers. Then I read the first comment and forgot that you CAN, in fact, choose your readers! I am such a whore for attention that I don't imagine there's a circumstance whereby I'd actually block someone from reading.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

I agree. I don't think I'd block anyone, I like not being able to choose my readers. I just wish I knew why some readers choose me!

bendersbetterbrother said...

Bloody paranoid now. About the blog bit not the IT challenged German wet legging sniffer.

Robbie said...

People still use stattrackers?

I really want to see this replaced text, can I still find it by searching for "wet leggings"?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Benders - Don't worry. I only track the weirdos.

Robbie - a what tracker? I expect you'll find it. The post is called 'Oooh'. I think.

Homer said...

When I blogged there was this one girl whose blog was long-winded and deadly dull, but she used to comment on everyone else's like there was no tomorrow, so you felt obliged to read hers back out of politeness. Her circumstances changed, the posts declined, and then she finally wrote a post along the lines of "Sorry I never blog any more but I've got a life now." The cheek!

Ellie said...

Ohhh! I want to see that photo now. ;-)

roseski said...

What counter do you use? I am dissatisfied with mine!

 

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