Saturday, 18 February 2012

The redefinition of "good news"

"...the good news is that we have until the 24th March" continued Tuesday's text message, thus confirming Monday's surprise announcement.

Needless to say, my response was short, polite, but to the point, and began with the suggestion that the sender reassess his definition of the term "good news".

As well as putting the wheels in motion to relocate myself, this week has also been an exercise in trying to work out whether the annoyance I feel about having to find a new house so soon after moving in to this one is justified.

While the responses of friends, family and you lot seemed to suggest that this was indeed Crap News Delivered Badly, unfortunately there remained two people who didn't (and, I expect, still don't) quite see the problem.

Suffice to say, it came as a bit of a surprise to have to explain, in detail, to the blank, uncomprehending faces of those responsible that my "not all that great, to be honest" mood on Wednesday morning wasn't down to the onset of the common cold.

So instead of wasting any more time being annoyed, I think maybe there is some good news in all of this. Because what this whole saga really confirms is that my own views, priorities and expectations - both in life, and of others - do not match up to those of an engaged couple.

And for a 27 year old who spent Tuesday evening in a friend's kitchen with eight other single girls, drinking cheap fizzy wine, doing shots of Glenfiddich and regaling the neighbouring Kings Cross residents with a loud, not altogether tuneful rendition of Beyoncé's Love On Top, I have concluded that this can be no bad thing.


em said...

my old housemate didn't see why I was annoyed when, a month after we moved into a flat, she announced she was going travelling!
Don't you just love it when friends royally screw you over!

Breeza said...

Good for you for seeing the silver lining so to speak! I'm sure you'll find the perfect place to live.

P said...

it was bad enough what they did, but to then not KNOW what they did . . . that's totally out of order!

Brennig said...

The King's Cross/Glenfiddich night sounds epic. Wish I had been there. I'm renown for my Beyonce.

Anonymous said...

From your previous posts though: them being couple-y was annoying you. Using the toilet together disgusted you. You told off the boy for his cleanliness.

They must have sensed your dislike, and felt that it wasn't working.

So, it doesn't surprise me that they weren't keen to keep the living arrangement going as it was. Or that they have made arrangements so promptly.

You have every right to tell housemates that they need to be tidy, to bemoan their toilet habits, but you have to accept that they may then leave. And they obviously are intimidated by you, which is they they have done the whole thing by text.

Yes they could have handled it better. Yes, describing the deadline being end of march as 'good news' is not advised. But look at it from their point of view: they're living with a girl who tells them off, and doesn't like how they act/behave. If I was part of that couple, I would leave. And so would you.

I like your blogs Jo. And your tweets. So this isn't a personal attack. And I'm not saying they should be praised. But take this as an opportunity to move somewhere where you fit better - and other housemates fit better with you.

Blonde said...

Gosh, I do love a good anonymous comment who rather misses the point. Hey ho.

Onwards and, fuelled by Glennfiddich, upwards.

Seriously, though: Brixton. x

Alicia (foodycat) said...

I once found out a flatmate was moving out when he put an ad on the front door. At our housewarming party. Several days later he announced that he was taking another housemate with him. This was 3 weeks after we signed a 12 month lease.

London-Lass said...

Shots of Glenfiddich? You're a braver girlie than I :)

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

em - It's just a general "not thinking about other people" thing, I think. Bit annoying when you're the other people.

Breeza - Indeed, well, no point whinging on is there?

P - Well, baffling, but as they're a couple - perhaps we just have different priorities. (i.e., they prioritise the other)

Brennig - It was indeed epic. And very, very noisy.

Anonymous - Here's the thing, I don't take what you say as a personal attack, it's just you've given this story an arc where there isn't one. Like Blonde says, you've sort of missed the point.

Because I'm not at all confused about their reasons for wanting to move out.

There's nothing ambiguous or strange about their reasons. Read this post, about 3/4 of the way down where I first predicted this would eventually happen:

Their reasons are also stated in last week's blog post, and came as part of a longer conversation (so far, only two messages have been exchanged by text). The reasoning was neither a surprise or a gripe for me, but the timing and immediacy was. In fact, I speculated just the week before to my mum that I thought them moving out at some point might be on the cards, after all, they are now an engaged couple. That's a bit of a game changer.

I don't recognise my own thoughts, behaviour or actions in your comments. The "disgust", "intimidation" and "telling off"? I've just read all eight blog posts I've written about my housing situation since September, and I don't see the above sentiments in any of them. Twitter? God knows what bilge I've said on there. I'll condense an entire day into 140 characters sometimes. It's hardly a medium ripe for gleaning any level of detail. For your own sake, in future: don't read too much into it.

Yes, of course it has crossed my mind that I'm to blame for all this. How can I not take it personally? Do you *really* think it didn't occur to me that I'm actually a terrible housemate, and all this engagement crap is just a great rouse for getting the hell away from me? Of course not, but those thoughts are all in the back of my mind with the rest of my insecurities, where they belong.

Anyway, you're a regular reader so you'll know I'm a rational sort of girl. So if it's ok with you, I'll stick to the more likely explanation that because they got engaged the week after I moved in last September, they now want to live alone before getting married. They started looking, the right place came up, they jumped at it, and in doing so, ballsed up my plans to stay in the same place for longer than five months.

But as always, thank you for your comments. They were... illuminating... to read.

Alicia - Glad to see this is a common trait in housemates. By the way, did they ever incite intimidation in their reasoning?

London lass - In truth, I winced at every single shot. And gagged a bit.


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