Tuesday, 14 July 2009

I think I've got the swine flu

Don’t write this off as one of those blog posts where there’s a quirky joke about pigs flying, or some sort of porky pun, or general “har har har I’ve got a cold, it’s probably swine flu so I’m off to die, babahahahaha”. I actually think I’m coming down with something.

Before I go on, here’s what the NHS says:

The typical symptoms are:

• sudden fever, and
• sudden cough.

Other symptoms may include:

• headache,
• tiredness,
• chills,
• aching muscles,
• limb or joint pain,
• diarrhoea or stomach upset,
• sore throat,
• runny nose,
• sneezing, and
• loss of appetite.

It started yesterday, I sat in the office and felt a tickle in my throat which by the end of the day had turned into a full blown cough. Pretty quick turnaround hey? Now it’s a (sudden) chesty cough. I definitely felt a bit hot this morning (high temperature), except when I went to interrupt my mum on the computer while trying to force some toast down (loss of appetite) and she felt my head to see if I had a temperature, she said “ooh you are a bit hot”, but then I told her I’d just been blow drying my hair and she said that would explain my head being all hot. I choffed down some Day Nurse anyway.

Then just before I was leaving for work, the cleaner did her own mini-diagnosis on me, saying she’d been really unwell with a bad cough a couple of weeks ago, so I said “Oh, but that’s alright, look you’re still alive” – but then she told me her doctor had prescribed her very strong antibiotics. Were my lymph glands enlarged? Why, yes I think they are. Are all my limbs aching? Why, yes – but only because I’d gone a bit mental on the exercise routine last week. Apparently the cough started on the first day then her limbs ached the next. “When did you start feeling ill?” she asked. Well, yesterday. Which means I’ll be due for limb, joint pain and aching muscles by the end of the day. She raised her eyebrows.

“See mum? I might have the swine flu” I said, turning around, but she was mid conversation on the phone so I put my hands above my head like pig ears and scrunched up my nose whilst trotting around in circles to stress the point.
“Sorry – hang on. Jo, Sue says to advise you not to roll in mud” and she carried on her phone call.

So then I got in the car and drove to work, and immediately looked up the symptoms on the NHS website. I haven’t sneezed yet, although my nose has been sporadically running, usually whenever someone comes near my desk. My stomach’s been ok, but I’m definitely not hungry. Usually I’ll have a big bowl of Weetabix for breakky and will be hungry by half 11, but here we are at nearly 12 o’clock after two pieces of toast, and there’s not a hunger pang in sight. Plus, I’m a bit chilly and have goose bumps, but then maybe my choice of clothing isn’t the most practical for someone with suspected swine flu in an air conditioned office.

I did the NHS symptom checker and worryingly, it said if you are "more tired and confused than usual" then there's cause for concern. I have been on the receiving end of some rather complex e-mails this morning and I've been yawning a lot. And stretching. And I think my headache's coming back. But then that could be lack of food. Oh, god I'm confused.

If the newspapers are to be believed, I’ve got three days.

Shiz sticks.


Robbie said...

I was feeling really weird a few days ago. I had a cough that just wouldnt go away and started to think to myself "I don't know the symptoms of swine flu. Is this what swine fluers have?"

I'm feeling good now. The cough went away, it seemed to be nothing more then that. But I hope your feeling better soon.
Although the amount of time it takes to see the GP you should of booked your appointment 2 weeks ago.

PS, quite scared that one of the symptoms is in fact sudden cough.

PPS Do pigs cough?

Blue soup said...

Hypochondriac moment anyone? :)

"I put my hands above my head like pig ears and scrunched up my nose whilst trotting around in circles to stress the point."

I'd pay good money to have seen that.

Hope you feel better soon. x

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Robbie - I'm not sure if pigs cough. They must do if they get something stuck in their throat. Someone in my office proposed a sweepstake as to whether i've got swine flu or not :(

blue soup - Ah yes, I am a little hypochondriacy, but the news reports on BBC breakfast this morning, and the front page of the telegraph didn't help. Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww oink

Rol said...

I reckon you'd be better off catching it now than later when it's mutated into something really nasty. Build up your immunity. That's what I'm telling myself for when I eventually come down with it. As I'm bound to, being the chronic hypochondriac I am.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Look at the bright side; this would solve your career dilemma.

Huw said...

Could well be. I know two people who've had it in the last month. You might as well get it out of the way with whilst the weather isn't too miserable. Oh, and build up your immunity so you can run the country come the winter.

Miss Milk said...

Swine flu schmine flu. Half of my friends have had it and they're all still alive.

jo said...

i've been battling the tail end of a slight cough and some sniffling for the last few weeks. so i think you have a lil more than just 3 days. anyhow i'm convinced that i don't have the swine flu, and neither do you. for me maybe it's just payback at having poked every pig stuffed toy in the snout while squeaking "swine flu" to 'em.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Rol - Hypochondriacs R Us! Fortunately I've stayed away from the hypochondriac's doctor this time, Dr. Google.
The NHS website doesn't count.

Unbearable - "Always look on the brrrright side of life (and death)"

Huw - That's what I reckon. I'll battle through this, don't you worry!

Miss Milk - I'll add that to my testimonials page, you and the cleaner.

Jo - You're probably right, I quite like that theory.

Although this morning I did have a pain in my shoulder which on the NHS website it says "Dial 999!" on the symptom checker. However, I've had a pain in my shoulder for the past 17 years...coincidence that it's turned up with my swine flu? My leg ached a bit last night too.


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