Thursday, 30 April 2009

Working from home is hard

Contrary to popular belief, working from home is hard.

I used to think working at home was a phrase that should always, forever, without fail be enveloped in the warm, snugly arms of speech marks. Like this..

"working from home"

...and accompanied by a speech bubble, which is preferably being uttered by a smug looking person with a knowing wink, like this:

Turns out, working from home does actually require work. You're not just doing the actual work you're meant to do, which is in my case writing an article on Croatia. You're also doing the job of manager, secretary and office snitch. It takes incredible self discipline to keep yourself on track when there are so many distractions dotted around your office, aka, the home.

The Manager is there to keep you doing what you're supposed to. Like visiting the fridge, which beckons every 2 minutes with it's knowing "I got what you want, I got what you need" whirr. Then there's the dogs which require numerous walks and general head patting, and the need to watch The Apprentice before you touch any other page on the internet, just in case you're inadvertently told who got fired.

Another distraction is the front door because unfortunately, Charity Shop collections only happen in the daytime. Then there's the house phone which I now have to answer even though it's never for me. In this way, despite my best efforts I am still a secretary.

To avoid falling into all these little potholes, my brain must also take on the role of Office Snitch. You know, that person you get in every office who keeps unconscious tabs on how many times so-and-so has been to the loo that morning. Or how much time they're spending making tea in the kitchen. Or how many times a week they're late coming back from lunch. Or what time they sneak out of the office at the end of the day.

So after a lot of thinking and organising, brain racking and timetabling...I've found the answer to my procrastination problem.

Staff. I'm hiring.

You'll be paid in a fresh, continuous stream of o2, which I hear is at a premium these days given the porky epidemic.

Just reply below, with your suitability for any of the above posts.

Any takers?


Robbie said...

Wish I could give advice on how not to get distracting working from home.
I've been working from home for almost a year now and still find it impossible to not get distracted.

I could do the managers job. Here are some quotes to show you how good I can be at a manager and make sure you are working to your best
"Are you working?"
and "Can you work hard?"
See!? I'd be great

arti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Know what you mean about working from home! Especially when its studying from home....spend so much time procrastinating its stupid. I find working *with* someone who is also studying/working helps guilt me into actually doing quite well! It's quite hard to find someone else who also happens to be working from home on the same day as you though

Brennig said...

Here's my solution. I need to work at home. We work at home together. I'll keep you on the straight and narrow and you will, likewise, keep me in line and out of the fridge and food cupboards. Your home or mine - or some third party I don't care. How about it?

Ella said...

Ooooh, I would luuurve to "work from home". Nothing sounds better than writing an article whilst watching Trisha (is that still on during daytimes??), drinking tea from my own mug and not having to travel with smelly people on the tube. Bliss.

weenie said...

If I 'worked from home', I know for a fact that I'd never do any 'work'. Far too many distractions.

I'm convinced that unless they have visitors, people who work from home are sitting in their pjs/nighties and comfy slippers whilst they're composing some presentation or on some conference call. Cushy!

Scarlett Parrish said...

I want a raise.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I make a mean pot of coffee. Also, I usually have some delightful pastries on hand. Will that help?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Robbie - Ah yes, I can see your skills would be a valuable asset to my company. You're through to round 2.

Chapati - Yeah, that option's out. My friends all have normal office jobs. Except Miss Pink, who just sits at home doing nothing.

Brennig - How about a field somewhere? Then I can bring the dogs, and you can bring the horse, we can both bring our laptops, exercise the animals AND get a tan?

Ella - 'work' being the operative word here...I think what you're describing is a day off!

weenie - Well I at least get dressed whether I'm leaving the house that day or not. I owe myself that much :D

Scarlett - Ok, I'll throw in a glass of water too. How's that?

Unbearable - Perfect! Pain au Chocolate for me please. But you'll have to learn how to make a good english cuppa, I'm not a coffee drinker!

Mouldy-Old-Tartlet said...

I've always fantasised about being able to `work from home' but I know that I would be cr*p at it. Just as I was cr*p at revising for exams, applying myself to any task & properly finishing it and ... er ... `writing my book'. There is always something about to distract you (even if sometimes you have to look really hard to find it) and that is why I shall remain an office commuting loser until the day I die as I have nil self-discipline or will power.

By the way, if you need an `office bitch', I'm yer gal :)

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

You, my little love bucket, are most definitely hired.

It's like the apprentice round here.

Ellie said...

I'll take the dogs. I'm fantasising about a career change anyway. Dog walkers have it sweet! (I know, grass is always greener ...)


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