Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Ready, set, panic.

With just under four days to go until the lease begins on my new flat, it's fair to say that the upcoming move is making me go a litttle bit bonkers. I feel really bloody anxious at the moment, and if I'm honest, I have done for the last couple of weeks. At first I put it down to worrying about whether the Boyfriend would like his Christmas present because it meant using iTunes, about which he used to regularly yell, tourettes stylee, "iTunes is SHIT!". But that all went ok, and still the anxious feeling remained.

Then there was the run up to NYE, an annual time of fretting and trying to please everyone. I hoped to wake up on 1st January swaddled in cliche ready for a brand new start. Instead, I predictably spent first few hours of 2011 arguing with the bloke I'm due to move in with. It seems to have set the tone because at the moment, we can't have a conversation without it descending into a heated discussion about who's being the bigger pain in the arse. And usually, it's me.

And oh, money. Money makes me worry even when there's no rent to pay, something now magnified by the fact that from now on, there will be rather a lot of it leaving my account each month. The flat we are renting depends on two salaries; not one of us could afford the rent on our own without the other. So news this morning that the Boyfriend's job, which until recently was back to it's normal secure self, is now wobbling all over the shop hit my already anxious brain, which had been up half the night swirling it's never ending train of thoughts.

Bah. I'm panicking when I should be excited. And I don't like it. And it's getting worse. And I don't feel like I can tell anyone about it.

Apart from my blog.

Hello blog.

Take that for New Year.


jman said...

What's the worst that can happen? Ok let's not go there. It's a bit like the run up to buying a house - suddenly you are thinking "oh my god what have I done? Why have I taken on this big financial commitment?" Just breathe deep and in a few days you can switch to arguing about what color to paint the sitting room or why you need a bed skirt anyway. It's called life. Enjoy the ride. And think about all the positives coming along with the move. Happy New Year!

Audrey (hkittygirl) said...

I hope you fell better soon and that the anxiousness subsides eventually! :3

AFC 30K said...

As jman said, it's like the run up to buying a house. Moving away from the safety and security of the parents is always a wrench. There comes a point where we have to go because you'd all end up killing each other if you stayed much longer but, that said, the parental home is safe and secure.

Having your own place marks a new chapter in a person's life. A property be it mortgaged or rented will be something you will have, most likely for the next 40 years, it's pretty natural to worry about the commitment.In fact it's something most of us worry about reasonably regularly.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it will be fine Jo.

Everyone gets a little nervous at the start of something like this, so you are not alone.

Besides, when you are sat there one night watching your Zebra TV, you'll have a wry smile on your face and all will be forgotten.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

jman - Thanks for the head check. I am listing the positives as I type. And they do far outweigh the weird negativey thoughts.

Audrey - Ahh, so do I.

AFC - Yeah you're right, I know I had to make the move out of home sooner or later and actually couldn't think of anything else I'd rather do, Im still excited, just nervous about the whole thing now I think. Bah.

Perp - AHH THE ZEBRA TV! Despite all my hints in the right direction (parents), I will be zebra-less. But I want it. I want it so much.


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