Sometimes you just gotta say one little word... "no"

I think we've established that last week was a kerfuffle.

It became clear by day 2 that getting home at 7pm, eating dinner, then cracking on with writing articles until 12am every night wasn't going to work for me, my relationship, or my general wellbeing.

So this week, The Writer was all set to send me another big batch of articles to write, and I thought it best to chat about how much time I can spend on the project. You know, given that I'm no longer spending my days raiding the fridge and talking to dogs. He responded saying that he had a load more articles for November, and hoped we could work around my schedule. After all, the pieces I'd written so far were apparently very good. Ahem.

The Writer is a salesman of sorts; he makes a good living from pitching ideas and getting others - magazine editors, TV producers, company CEOs - to buy into them. Simply put, he's better at convincing me to do something than I am at saying "nope, sorry, can't".

But given the whole err, can't-really-start-work-til-8pm thing, I proposed five or six articles / hours a week, down from his 12. I was being realistic. What's the point in agreeing to deliver an amount you know you can't, and then thinking up excuses or falling short in quality or quantity? It wasn't an easy decision; I've always wanted to write for a living, but my full time job at The Company - the start of a possible career - has to come first.

My offer, however, was refused. And although his words said that he understood why I couldn't do all 50 pieces, his voice adopted an irritated tone. He reeled off a list of other projects he had on the go, and told me how busy he was; as if the hassle of finding someone else was the last thing he needed. It didn't feel like I was talking to someone who understood that I had a new job, a social life, weekends away, nowhere to work at home, flat hunting and a need to see my boyfriend once in a while, all requiring precious evenings, or that I was keen to do as much as I could, it felt like I was getting a guilt trip. I was reminded of the strop thrown by The Polo Player when I quit being a groom, and the horrible feeling I'd got from feeling that I'd let someone down.

"Look", I said, "The offer's there, I can always do the minimum. But at the moment, while I get into this new job, I can't commit to any more than that."

So we left it there. Me feeling guilty, and like I'd missed an opportunity, but then gradually less so. It's beginning to dawn that some people just don't listen, and likely never will.