Thursday, 30 October 2008

I have a simple request (/rant)



Spread the word and perhaps one beautiful, amazing, wonderous day I will be able to watch a film without people bloody chomping and feeding themselves left, right and centre around me.

Why cinemas still allow people to eat the noisiest, smelliest food imaginable within their confined spaces is absolutely beyond me. Seriously - be imaginative, cinemas! There must be some other way you can make money other than making people eat their weight in absolute crap the whole way through a film.

I know I've gone on about this before but I'll keep bloody going on about it until people either stop choosing to have their dinner of nachos and popcorn in front of a hundred other people all straining to enjoy a quiet moment on screen, or learn how to eat so it doesn't sound like a pack of bears devouring a particularly crunchy set of badger bones.

ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If you agree with my campaign against public munching in cinemas, please feel free to steal my really shit picture and promote to your hearts content. VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!

13 comments:

Mjohnson said...

Right I’m taking you to task on this one Jo. If the cinema owners sell and permit, nay encourage, the eating of popcorn in their cinema then you can hardly blame ‘Jo public’ for taking them up on their offer/marketing onslaught. If you consider their decision impinges on your cinema experience then you must take it up with the cinema management. You may find that your complaint falls on deaf ears.

Cinemas persist in selling popcorn because it is has the single biggest margin in retail history. The mark up on popcorn is 1000s of %. It’s basically money for nothing. Still worth a go. Complain away, but leave the poor saps who’ve just lined the pockets of big business alone.

I also find this problem with airline seats.

Why do people get angry with the person in front of them if they recline their seat on an airline? The seats recline, they are designed to recline. If you consider there to be a fault in the design of the seats, don’t take it up with the person sitting in a faulty seat. Take your complaint to the airline owner, or the airline designers. The guy who paid for a seat with X amount of leg room only to discover that the leg room is designed to disappear as soon as the person in front uses the full, in built, functionality of their seat is not at fault.

Take your complaints to the MAN sister!

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

You know what - I know this is the cinema's problem. Yes, it's them who supplies the food. Yes, I could complain all bloody day in letters, emails and hanging banners from the Vue foyer. But really, as you said, my complaints would no doubt fall on deaf ears. This is, as you say, a huge corporate cash cow. "Supply and demand!" they'd cry in response to my barrage of complaints!

My point is, how often do people go to the cinema and eat the food just because it's there? How often have you just eaten dinner, then gone along to the cinema and smelt the popcorn and gone 'Mmmm' before chomping away, even if you're not hungry? I looked around last night at grown men and women eating this disgusting, smelly, horrendous looking (and tasting) food like nachos without thinking 'Hmm, now this isn't going to be pleasant for someone sitting next to me'. The place stunk and it was actually noisy with the sound of rustling and eating.

Yes, the cinemas supply the food. but then corporations, shops and services offer us with lots of things. It comes down to people ultimately having a choice - and I'm urging people to choose to let the person sitting next to them NOT to have the sound of crunching in their ear when they've just paid £7.50 + booking fee to see a film.

It's about consideration for others.

Mjohnson said...

Shops services and corporations supply us with lots of things and we have a choice about how we use them, but this isn’t like using a dildo in a library, this isn’t even like talking in the library, this is like reading a book in the library that smells and makes a crunching noise every time you turn a page.

I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’d hate it if my local library stocked such antisocial books, I’d probably take it up with the librarian, perhaps ask for a separate reading room. Your campaign isn’t wrong it’s misguided.

The rules of acceptable behaviour have to be governed by the house. Everyone has their own opinion on what is acceptable therefore it is subjective. It is up to the cinema owner to balance the needs of the patrons when they set the rules of the house. In this case I think the house has sold out, but it doesn’t appear that they are losing custom by doing this, so capitalism fails again.

Perhaps there is a gap in the market for No Popcorn cinemas, Weatherspoons found a very lucrative niche in, no music, no smoking (before the ban) pubs, so you never know.

AFC 30K said...

It's been so long since I last went to the cimema I've forgot about the eating and noise in general.

I've just solved the isssue by buying a plasma and a blu-ray player... I can even have a glass of wine with my movie :-)

surviving myself said...

You're like that guy on all the t-shirts!

What was his name? Che something, right?

Hails said...

See, I'm torn on this one. I get as angry as you do with the crunchers and the rustlers, but at the same time I can't resist the idea of popcorn and a stupidly large Diet Coke when I walk through the lobby. Call me a victim of brainwashing - I enter a cinema, I want food. It's automatic.

I do try to be quiet though. I'll wait till there's a loud noise in the movie before slurping the final dregs of my drink, for example. There was, however, the unfortunate time when I struggled womanfully with a packet of Minstrels, trying my utmost to open them soundlessly. Which resulted, of course, in the (family-sized) packet suddenly bursting open, and the noise of hundreds, nay, thousands of Minstrels raining down on the floor, wall, radiatiors, people in surrounding seats etc, will forever haunt me.

Most embarrassing cinema visit EVER.

rosiewishes. said...

What are your views on drinking wine in the cinema?

BlackLOG said...

With you 100% on this. I even get annoyed when a friend thrusts food in front of me, just at a really good bit (don't they realise there is no rewind in the cinema). The only thing is I suspect a blanket ban won't work (due to the profits that cinema's make from the food) Go for a campaign to eat responsibly instead or have Zones
"No eating!",
"No getting up halfway through!",
"No snoring!"
"No dribbling on the shoulders of strangers",
"No heavy breathing, except for blue movies"

etc....

BlackLOG said...

With you 100% on this. I even get annoyed when a friend thrusts food in front of me, just at a really good bit (don't they realise there is no rewind in the cinema). The only thing is I suspect a blanket ban won't work (due to the profits that cinema's make from the food) Go for a campaign to eat responsibly instead or have Zones
"No eating!",
"No getting up halfway through!",
"No snoring!"
"No dribbling on the shoulders of strangers",
"No heavy breathing, except for blue movies"

etc....

Rol said...

I'm with you 100%.

Then again, if I had my way, cinemas would ban everybody else but me, so I could watch the film with no distractions at all.

Rol said...

On the other hand though, did you know that cinemas only get 35p of the ticket price from each customer - the rest goes to the films companies. If they didn't sell expensive popcorn andf stuff, they probably wouldn't be able to stay open.

They should still force people to eat it before they go in to watch the film.

Mouldy-Old-Tartlet said...

I agree with you Jo. Kill 'em all I say.

Agent Elle said...

TOTALLY agree. It's not as though I have a problem with popcorn and whatnot, but why do peopel ALWAYS decide to open their bags of popcorn during the film? THAT annoys me.

 

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