Wednesday 6 October 2010

Car trouble

Today didn't start off particularly well.

More specifically, it started with me being on the receiving end of a
game The Boyfriend likes to call "Wind up Jo" (no lies, right,
seriously, he's got a theme tune and everything. It goes "wind up
Jooo, see-how-long-it-takes-before-she-snaps!" Followed by a Marge
Simpson-like growl). This game, a favourite of his, usually culminates
in either laughter or argument, and rarely both at the same time.

This morning - unsurprisingly, having only been awake for 30 minutes -
it was argument.

You see, in my opinion, if you're going to label your girlfriend's car
"shit" whenever you get in it because (and the clue is in the name of
the car) you can't fit your 6 ft 5 legs and large bag in the footwell
of it, you get annoyed with the lack of boot space, and you happily
reel off a variety of other complaints when the subject arises, you
might want to do one of the following first:

a) Make sure you actually own a car to use as a viable alternative,

Or

b) Not rely on said "shit" car to ferry you to your house and back,
or, in this case, to save you from a seven minute walk to the tube
station in the rain at 8:30am; a time when your girlfriend could still
be flouncing around in her underwear because she doesn't have to leave
for work until 9:15am.

And

c) Not be genuinely baffled at your girlfriend getting annoyed, given
that you have just

d) answered your girlfriend's question of "Ok, so, I'll pull over
then. You can get out. In fact, how about you don't get in my car? How
about you refrain from using it in future?" with "No, because then I
wouldn't be able to get around"

Precisely.

Pre-cise-ly.

I rest my case.

9 comments:

nuttycow said...

Men! Useless!

If you don't like it, don't use it (and certainly don't complain about it)

Tcha!

P.S. I do love the fact he has a theme tune for you though.

Emma said...

Haha.
My ex used to slag my old Polo off for many of the same reasons – but it didn’t stop him using it.

On many occasions we had that same get out and walk convo. Once he actually did. I’m pretty sure he felt really stupid walking through the door 45mins after me that day!

AFC 30K said...

Mmmmm, yes. I wouldn't say that it's men as a whole that are useless I would say that I'm afraid he's showing a lack of maturity which you must attribute to his age. They rarely think thinks through with as much clarity as those of us over 30....

Being made to walk in the rain starts to clarify the thought process somewhat.

But winding up the Mrs is still great fun for me 14 years on from when we met......

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Hey, Nutty! What the hell's that supposed to mean?! Surely not ALL men are useless, are they (we)? Some of us make a valiant effort, ya know. But in the end, we're just guys. That's all we know how to be. It's all we're qualified for. So knock off that "useless" stuff or it'll be no babies for you, Little Missy.

Jersey said...

and you didn't kick him out of the car immediately? your patience is far better than mine.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Nuttycow - I was going to finish off the post with a similar sentiment, however, I feared reprisals ;) The theme tune is quite catchy, annoyingly, as I often find myself humming it before I realise what I'm doing.

em - I think it's just this self-righteous thing they have, as every man seems to be an expert on cars. If it's not their choice, it's nobodies (or so it seems).

AFC - And we are so easy to wind up, which is the annoying thing. I should just ignore these opinionated statements he makes, but sometimes I just feel myself boiling up. Especially when it's 8:30am.

Unbearable - Yeah, that's the reprimand I feared from making a similar 'useless' jibe ;)

Jersey - I got as far as pulling over to the side of the road and issuing my statement, at which point I was informed that he was merely 'winding me up!'. But, of course. What other way to treat your chauffer!

not twitter said...

Yep. One sloooow walk would have given him valuable contemplation time.
Best to follow it up next morning with "You'd better leave now if you want to catch that Tube".
It's a 2 stage process Jo. After that he'll be sweetness and light.

Anonymous said...

Schoolboy error on the part of the bf there Jo!

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Now twitter - :-D Brilliant. Will be sure to implement the '2 step process' the next time I get an earful.

Perp - Schoolboy indeed. He might not be so lucky, next time.

 

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