Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Twitter mania

Is it wrong that I feel cool for having clocked on to Twitter way before the Daily Telegraph got hold of it and did their explanatory "And this, people over 50, is a newfangled WEB THING called TWITTER!"

As I now follow enough people to actually get some fairly good nuggets of time wasted on there now, it kind of keeps me occupied. I'm not sure anyone really knows what to do with Twitter when they first sign up, but eventually it's like this little unicorn of impulsion takes you and suddenly, you must tell SOMEONE...nay... 66 people... what you just did.

I'm pretty sure half the population of Twitter have just signed up to feel a bit special about having a private line to celebrities though. Personally, MC Hammer was only good for that "HEY! HAMMER TIME! NAH NAH NAH NAH...Can't touch this!!!!" tweet which I couldn't help send him, but the rest of the time I never really know what he's on about. Every man and his dog's wife now follows Stephen Fry, you can't bloody get a word in edge ways.

In fact if you click on the username of anyone who has got a reply from a Twitter schelebrity, you will discover that they do indeed spend most of the day trying to elicit a response from their new famous friends. It's like seriously, chill out - stop trying to be Stephen Fry's Best British Friend, this ain't facebook, toots. Take this guy for example, whose current fascination is getting Jonathan Ross to admit to having two distant friends called Tommy and Alan. To the stalker's credit, he got a response in the end, but I can only imagine it was accompanied by a distant, spoken message of "Bloody hell, there are some right weirdos on here, Jane" which our guy will never hear. He's moved on to badgering Stan Collymore now, anyway.

So in conclusion, yes, it does make me feel all down with the kids and cooler than The Times (which did a '100 best blogs' in the Culture section this Sunday. Cringe). And yes, sometimes I do like to pretend that when I used my new found connection with Russell Brand to say "ooh you're on twitter. I think a little bit of wee just came out" that he put my name down on his "to do" list. Yes, I do think it's a wonderful little way to pass the time and keep in touch with bloggers which give me belly tingles.

But bloody hell - these schelebrities and their followers don't half take up a lot of space on the screen. Pipe down.

Actually, just before I press send, Stephen Fry actually said something half interesting:

stephenfry :
Did interviews with Sunday Times and PA (both British) before filming scene. Journos more interested in Twitter than Bones.

stephenfry :
Worry that talking about Twitter too much will somehow spoil it. But hard when asked all the time.Don't want to become a bore on the subject

It's not you that'll make it boring, Mr Fry. It's your famous-friend-hungry followers.

PS. Is Fearne Cotton on Twitter? I'd bloody love that. Please say she is? I'll be good, I promise.


The Unbearable Banishment said...

I was introduced to Twitter last spring when I started my blog. Was on for about three weeks and decided that maintaining a blog was going to be enough of a hassle. My account at Twitter is dormant. How cool is that?

Anonymous said...

I've been using it sporadically, but I can't get into it.

The devil woman is (or was about a month ago) on Twitter. I'll try and find her again!

Anonymous said...

That was easier than I thought: http://twitter.com/Fearnecotton

Have fun!

Anonymous said...

can you get it to work from your phone...?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Unbearable - you are the coolest of them all. You are so down with the kids you don't even need to be actually down with them...fact. WORD UP HUSTLER! :D

Cynical - you Leg-end. Fun times ahead...all aboard the Devil Woman train!

monkey - No not text updates. I just get on through wifi on my itouch application and on my mobile through internet. Don't think TMobile works? Plus I read something about it charging international rates to text, not inclusive in your call plans...

MJohnson said...

I've got a couple of things to say:

1. I hate you. I read most of that twat's article about the 100 best blogs and though you didn't link I still blame you for making me find.

2. How much do you know Russell Brand I kind of need to know and I need to know it all.

3. You can't get shitter than a twit twit twitter, end of.

Anonymous said...

I can waste enough time on t'interweb and life and stuff so how do celebs manage it? Do they have a P.A. to Tweet for them?
There, I said tweet. That's my Twitter knowledge exhausted.

Brennig said...

Look, if we can ascertain that Fearne Cotton (spit) is on Twitter can we please share her address and them bombard the brainless little bitch with excerpts of her inanities?

Robbie said...

Of course Fearne Cotton is on Twitter. Shes a celebrity. They need it to put on their CVs
(Personally I do not follow. I seen someone @reply her)

Although I hate to admit my favourite tweet repsonse is this
(I made Rob Brydon laugh, Go Me)

James said...

Twitter does seem to have exploded into the mainstream over the past few weeks. I also feel a little bit smarmy pants that I was there before it became a journalists favourite subject.

Although I recently read a tweet by @dave_gorman (one of the few 'celebrities' I follow) who replied to someone who had tweeted something along the lines of "gah, what is with all these johnny come latelys on twitter!". In which which Mr. Gorman replied "there are no prizes for Johnny Come Earlies on twitter". Which I thought was quite funny and true. Who cares when someone started... If you were one of the first to join, but tweet like a tw@t, you're still a tw@t.

I had to unfollow Stephen Fry in the end as he was just taking up to way too much space. The celebrity followers really do wind me up too. It makes me wonder what impression it leaves people like Jonathan Ross et al. They must think to themselves these 'general public' are right weirdos.

weenie said...

Twitter does seem to have had some massive publicity of late - Perez Hilton and Lily Allen apparently having some public slanging match helping the Twitter signups no doubt - but it's not really my thing. Just checked my account and my last update was made on November 07...

Mouldy-Old-Tartlet said...

God I'd love to twitter (or is it `tweet'?) at Jonathan Ross. But, alas, I am just one of his many followers, hanging on his every (brilliant) word.

Brennig said...

I hate to bring bad news to the table but that isn't the real Fearne Cotton (though why there should be someone so misguided as to be her imposter, heaven knows!)

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

mjohnson - Let me address your points one by one:

1. You don't hate me. That article wasn't worth a link, I read it and cringed and thought oh god, now my mum's going to start a blog.

2. Me and Russell Brand shared a fleeting moment with a badger and a unicorn one night. I ran my fingers through his bird nest hair and he flew away on a rainbow. The animals consented, btw.

3. Birds Eye Potato Twitters, they're Twittery versatile.

ninetynine - I kind of wondered that too. Like it must get annoying from a production team perspective if the presenter's constantly on his mobile replying to 'tweets' every minute he's not on camera.

Brennig - Ahhhh no. It's a fake?? Dammmmmit. I was going to rally a party together to bombard her shiz with abuse. Why would anyone want to pretend to be Fearne Cotton? Is it a bit like wanting to be a witch on Halloween... novelty?

Robbie - Is that status printed out, framed and hung up on your wall? I like to think that some people do actually have print outs of famous tweets.

James - Thats what I reckon too. Like if I had all these weirdos asking me to say hi to their nan all day, I'd just get bored. I don't mind it when they come up with something funny or intelligent. Like Russell Brand's replies are often just a bit random and weird, but Wossy et al do take up sooo much screen space. It verges on spam!

weenie - No doubt someone is sitting in a room somewhere getting very rich from all this publicity. It's a bit like the whole facebook / myspace craze though. People go nuts about something for a while, but most get bored and delete accounts after a couple of months.

Mouldy - Am I following you on twitter? Whats your name on it? I want to hang off your every bowel movement, go on. Share the love.

The hunt is on peeps...LET'S FIND (the real) FEARNE!!!

Huw said...

It has to be said, some celebrities just update too much, and are pretty innane. I've unfollowed a a few, and I'm thinking of heading the same way with Fry.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Thats it...Fry rarely says much of interest because he has to spend all day replying to his 200,000 followers.

200,000 people man...that's insane.

Grump said...

I'm twittering if you want to join me.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Consider yourself followed Mr Grump!


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