Friday 14 November 2008

Dressing up - help, please. HELP ME!!

I bloody hate dressing up.

Not dressing up as in shoving a pair of heels and a spangley dress, I love all that, I mean dressing up as in fancy dress. As in 'ooh, I know! let's all go as superheros!' (let's not).

I was always ok as a 18/19/20 year old doing the whole school girl thing at uni, but generally I steered well clear of anything that required hiring of an outfit and venturing out anywhere more public.  I physically recoil at the thought of proper adults dressed as Rainbow Bright, Scooby Doo or, worse still, Wonderwoman. Or nurses. Or policewomen. I cringe when I see hen parties out on the town dressed up as cowgirls or playboy bunnies.

Saying that, I did once dress up as a playboy bunny in my first year of uni; stockings, hot pants, rabbit ears, corset, fluffy tail, cuffs, the lot - only to lose my tail, stain the cuffs with snakebite, ladder the tights and go home before 12 because I'd got too drunk in preparation for going out looking like a complete slag. Those were the days.
It just makes me incredibly uncomfortable to dress up as anything apart from myself; especially if it's just as part of a small group who decide to go out in themed clothing amongst hoards of ordinary people. With a group of mates at a house party, fine. Go mental. But wondering the streets of London dressed as a Snow White? Not for me, no thank youuuu.
So it was with great trepidation that I read the invites for two office Christmas parties that I'll be attending next month, only to find that one at an esteemed media corporation requires 'chav' dress (burberry, tracksuit, gold jewellary, buggy, baby) and the other, my work do, requires us all to go to a as a country (ie. onions, stripes, moustache and garlic for France, Supersize big mac for America, that kind of thing)
I know with these sort of things it's better to go the whole hog than just dip your toe in, there's nothing worse than people wondering whether you're in fancy dress or just your normal clothes, but still. Even though there will be a big group of us....something about a fancy dress theme just fills me with fear.
Plus, I'll be honest, I'm newly single. It's Christmas. I want to look hot.
So, suggestions please. Chav I can do, I'll just dress like I was 14 again.  I need ideas for the countries theme. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllpppp!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Noooooooo fancy dress...how could you?!

If you must, you should get them things that the german girls wear at beer festivals - the ones I can't remember the name of (and no ammount of google searching is helping me), but they always look hot!

cluelessleigh said...

You could do Spain and dress like a flamenco dancer, you can make that sexy.

Elaine Denning said...

You want to look hot? You could go as an African woman with your tits out?

Seriously, the Spanish theme is good. Or if you want to be a bit more classy, maybe Japanese?
You'd look hot in a sari...

Robbie said...

I cant believe you dislike dressing up. Thats just crazy. I was discussing todya with the missus that I need to sort out my next fancy dress outfit. It seems to be a regular thing out here.
Although I have to say the organises of your parties, ideas for themes are very poor.

But...
Dress up as Santa Claus and say your from the country of the North Pole.
Or goes as an elf and say you are from Middle Earth.
Does it have to be a real country?
Go as the Pope and say your from the Vatican.

Can Bass 1 said...

How about Estonia?

Rol said...

After the way I spent yesterday, you have my deepest sympathy...

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Is that a British thing? I’ve been to hundreds of Christmas parties over the years and have never been to, or even heard of, a costume-themed holiday party. This strikes me as quite bizarre.

For the country, why don’t you do Middle Eastern and go full burka?

Oh. Wait. You’re single and on the prowl so that might not work.

weenie said...

Yep, plenty of figure-hugging type dresses that can bring out your hotness, eg flamenco dress, Chinese cheungsam, leather lederhosen/shorts.

Did a lot of fancy dress when I was at uni, organised a few events myself over the years (yep, I was the nun ten pin bowling...) - I would like our works do to be fancy dress, would be a darn sight cheaper than buying a party frock and heels!

Good luck!

rosiewishes. said...

I love fancy dress... But I like doing my own thing, rather than hiring cliches.

A friend had a 'Round The World' theme for her 21st... I went as an eskimo, someone else was an aborigine, another girl was a Greek in a toga, the birthday girl was a geisha, one friend was actually The World... there were a few Scotsmen!

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

cynical - Leiderhosen? Eins, zwei, drei!

Neurotic - I did consider that...but what constitutes a flamenco dress? Maybe a bit flamboyant for someone who doesn't like fancy dress?

Elaine - african woman with tits out. Now there's an idea. I could put those earrings in that stretch holes in your ears too. Hawwwwt.

Robbie - Is the Vatican a country? I suppose if I was the pope it'd be a good excuse to go around 'ordaining' people. Heh.

Can bass - What sort of dress would that entail?I'm not familiar with estonian stereotypes...

Rol - Do tell more!

UNbearable - Burkha! Love it! Like you said, not really one to pull the boys in ;) I have to say, I haven't ever been to a christmas party with a theme either. But apparently they do it every year here at this company, because it's a good way to get people mingling and chatting.

weenie - LEATHER lederhosen, you say? Yowza. That takes bravery.

rosie - Nice pictures! I was a Geisha last time I did this type of fancy dress. Loving the eskimo idea.

Other ideas I've had today include...
-Hawaiian (bit cold for Camden though maybe)
-Native american (Pochahontas style)
- Australian (board shorts, flip flops, cork hat, can of fosters)

weenie said...

Just googled this link, which may give you some more worldly ideas! http://www.abfab.co.uk/around-the-world/fancy-dress.aspx

Mouldy-Old-Tartlet said...

What is it with companies that think it's OK to opt for a `chav' theme for a Christmas Party? Do they think that everyone in the firm is a highly-paid individual as far removed from that part of our society as they are? Pah.

Does it have to be a modern interpretation of the country or can it be something as `sexy' as those French resistence girlies in Allo, Allo? Swedish is always considered `attractive' too .. perhaps a Swedish au pair (to really dig out those tried & trusted sexy stereotypes)? Mebbe you could also be an American Hooters girlie or cheerleader?

By the way, I wouldnt have the courage to dress up as any of the above -- in your shoes I would've probably ended up going as a mouldy old `Britannia' and then watch from a lonely corner whilst everyone on the dance floor proceeded to get off with everyone else.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Wear a pinstriped trouser suit and a fedora with 2 tone shoes and go as a 1930s US mob boss

Anonymous said...

Go as a giant vodka bottle and be Russian. You could take some miniature vodkas and use them to entice men to sample your wares (fnarr fnarr).

Clarissa said...

Oh, this type of fancy dress sucks. I'm also a little surprised .... I've been here 7 years and had no idea that there are Christmas costume parties. Another tick against my application!

Do you still have the geisha dress? Can you repeat (ie - will the same people be there)?

blueskies2day said...

You could go as Arabia and wear a Princess Jasmine-esque costume: sexy but not too... sluttish that you would need to drink yourself into oblivion just to leave the house.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

weenie - good spot! thank you will check it ahhhht...

m.o.t - the cheerleader idea did cross my mind...the american girl in my office used to be a cheerleader so there has already been the question of whether she has her outfit with her in the country. alas it is at home in america! After all this I will probably just dress as a french man and sit there watching everyone get off with each other.

lizsara - I think a colleague is considering the mob boss option!

perpetual - yes! or one of those big fluffy furry hats!

clarissa - Believe me it's not a tradition to dress up at christmas, i for one have never been to a themed party at christmas, especially not a work one...seems to be a new fad!

blueskies - ahhaa...good idea...or i could just wrap myself in a toga and go for greek!

jo said...

and that is why i don't even like halloween... i prefer to be dressed as myself.

geez why do they do this to us? well i guess the flamengo outfit thing or a cheongsam would be sexy...

 

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