Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Waking up

One day you just wake up and feel a bit better.

Not totally alright, but less like the world's already gone to pot before you've even opened your eyes.

Realising you don't feel as resolutely awful as you have been for the past few weeks - or even months - is like that morning when the sun rises before you do at the end of winter.

That little bit of light making lines on your bedroom wall means you've made it through the bleakest bit of the year.

Instead of shifting awake and having to lie there, trying to guess what time it is, and how long it'll be until your alarm goes off - is it 4am or 7am? - now you know it's daylight outside, and that means it's time to get up.

As the mornings get lighter (in every sense), so does your perspective on the situation.

It begins to feel less like a failure and more like another thing you'll look back on and see more and more holes in, either when the next one comes along, or before.

And more importantly, you know there probably will be a next one - that's something to look forward to now, too.

Either way, after months of your brain working overtime, you've made a decision to stop questioning yourself so much.

Just let stuff happen. Say yes, and see where it takes you.

Stop analysing, comparing, wondering what if this, or what if that - instead, just wake up each day, feel a bit better.

You'll work it out.

12 comments:

nuttycow said...

Morning :)

Today's going to be a great day.

Reiyah said...

Hey there,Jo.Been a longtime lurker.Good to see you back.I guess you write just to express yourself but it's so comforting to read your words.It gives me some hope.Thank you.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Nuttycow - Good morning. I happen to agree :)

Reiyah - Thank you for your comment, I do write just to get stuff off my chest, but it's always nice to hear that it might help someone else in a similar situation as well. Hang on in there, you might feel like the world is crashing a little bit, but it'll be back soon enough x

Exile on Pain Street said...

The wheel turns. It always has and it always will.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that! Love you!

whiskeyintowhine said...

I have been reading your blog for a while now, going back and reading through your archives, and now this makes me feel a bit better about all the bumps in the road. There are tough things that happen to us but I have started to think that if you can write about it, you can make it through.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Exile - Very true. Sometimes it feels like it stops, but its just moving a bit slower. #metaphors

Anon - Hopefully that's not sarcastic ;)

whiskeyintowhine - I'm glad it helps. Writing does help, but mostly it's just giving yourself time and a bit of perspective, and a bit of space from whatever / whoever caused the hurt in the first place. But yes, the day that things start to improve (even a little bit) is a very nice feeling.

maymay said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sean Hughes said...

Love your blog.

Few stories have a perfectly a happy ending, I honestly hope yours does.

Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

You don't write very often, but when a new post drops in my inbox I get excited. You write with poetry, about things that matter. Keep doing it, it's great to share.

Anne Roy said...

I am sorry that you have not posted for a while. I hope you are feeling stronger & looking forward to good things in life ... they are there.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Sorry this is so late. I got distracted by life.

Sean - Thank you, I hope it does too. And in the meantime, stories...lots of stories

Anon - Thank you, comments like this remind me to write more :)

Anne Roy - I am, thank you for your kind words.

 

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