Sunday, 7 August 2011

How To Cancel A Date / Tumbleweed Returneth


However it was phrased, the message would have been the same.

Hey, hope you've had a good weekend. I'm really sorry to mess you around, but I'm going to have to cancel Tuesday...

Look mate, I've been out, been to some parks, gazed at deer, danced in a tent. But underneath the cider and picnic revelry, there's been muchos worrying, and a distinct lack of replies to text messages asking me about my "man situation". Therefore, I'm under instruction from instinct and friends to just go straight down the line. No feeble excuses, no sudden illness, missing dogs or inconvenient doctors appointments. 

I've not been single long, and just feel like I don't want to get into anything at the moment. Going for a drink probably suggests otherwise, and that's not really fair on you.

It's not you, it's me.

No! Really! Honest. I wouldn't want to go on a date with me. I'm a liability. I'll sit in a bar leaning back instead of forwards, looking everywhere else but at you, shrinking away from your touch and wondering what I've got myself into. If that mission fails and by a twist of masochism you still like me, then somewhere down the line I'll be that wanky old tired cliche who says "Argh, I just don't want a relationship at the moment", and you'll think "God, you're a right plum. Why didn't you just say that in the first place". So here it is. Maybe not the "first place", but close enough.

Sorry again. I hope this doesn't sound too shit.

Yeah. Sorry. This sounds really shit.

Maybe see you out and about with Mutual Friends at some point...x

Oh! And if we end up in the same social situation again, it would be good to chat once the awkward greeting and / or silence is out of the way.

No need to reply. I'll just tail off with a casual ellipsis.

Kiss? Yeah. Kiss. Just one.

Phew.

Cue immense feeling of relief.

15 comments:

modelofamodernmajorgeneral said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
modelofamodernmajorgeneral said...

Well that didn't work as planned.

Anyway...

*Hug*

M

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Ah, s'awright. Had to be done. You're right, didn't want to feel obligated to do anything. Felt silly.

Leigh said...

If you feel relief then you definitely did the right thing.

Mellie said...

Agree with Leigh... if you feel relief usually indicates it's what you wanted all along :)

tales from south of the river

modelofamodernmajorgeneral said...

"the work out as planned" was a comment on my first post - blogger doing strange things with html and brackets!

Ruby Tuesday said...

You'd only have had to send that same message a date or two down the line (trust me, I've been there). Always awkward, but probably better to get it out the way before he's spent any money on you (better for him, anyway)!

thisgreenstuff said...

Definitely the right thing to do girl. You were pretty burnt by the last one, it's no wonder you just want to be on your own - it's exactly what you need. Still, nice to be wanted x

Blonde said...

You were honest with him: I don't think you should underestimate that. x

Ellie Rose said...

LOL (sorry) well done on doing what you want. he will be ok, you will be ok. Aaaaaaand breath x

jman said...

Now if the recipient of your text were a woman "she" would then spend the next who knows how long analyzing or even "analysing" what the kiss at the end signified. Maybe Brits are more forthcoming with written kisses than actual ones than Yanks are, but that part seemed to send out a mixed message. Beyond that I see nothing wrong with being honest in this situation (and not how you characterize it), because, ultimately you are being careful with someone else's feelings and that is the honorable (or even honourable; I'm trying to see how many words I can use which have different spellings on either side of the Atlantic) thing to do. Sometimes it really is "me" and not "you".

theperpetualspiral said...

If you are not ready, then you are not ready, it is as simple as that.

As someone else has said, it is easier to send it now, rather than a couple of days after the event.

nuttycow said...

Good message and obviously the right thing to do if you're feeling relief.

If I were American, I'd suggest you go and have some "you time". Since I'm not, I'll simply say "G&T?"

Ellie said...

jman - all Europeans (even Brits who don't think of themselves as Euros) give kisses much more freely and platonically than yanks. Don't be led astray.

Ellie said...

jman - all Europeans (even Brits who don't think of themselves as Euros) give kisses much more freely and platonically than yanks. Don't be led astray.

 

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