Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Oh, by the way.

Last week I wondered into the living room, trailed as usual by two Labradors. This is the norm in my house, where you're followed everywhere by padding feet and expectant eyes. Even the toilet, unless you shut the door and demand, in a booming voice "Oi, OWT". But that's irrelevant.

Anyway, I went into my living room, looked down, and then I did the conga; clinging onto my dogs' tails as we circled the room, clicking our heels in the air and singing "Barrr-ap-pa-pah da da DAH!" and letting out several rounds of "Whoop (woof), whoop (woof), whoop (woof)" as we went.

Perhaps the eye-fog had lifted; maybe the senses had returned. More likely, my dad felt that the ideal time to heed my advice and fold up the hideous monstrosity commandeering our lounge floor was when my Mother was 889.25 miles away in Stockholm, thus unable to unleash her powers and resist.


And so it goes. Goodbye, Ugly Rug. Enjoy retirement in the loft of doom.

9 comments:

punctuation said...

Nobody goes to Stockholm unless it's by accident, they're an international diamond thief or code-named "Q" and meeting up with James Bond. Fact.

If your mother had pre-booked tickets but no obvious diamond-encrusted apparel then I recommend you put the rug back asap before she shoots you in the leg with a steel-tipped umbrella .

You do know the rug is a actually a cleverly disguised code book, right?

Redbookish said...

Umm, unless your father secretly reads your blog ...

modelofamodernmajorgeneral said...

Glad my lab isn't the only one that follows me *everywhere*.....

Martin said...

Keep pushing, I'm sure your bins get taken out before your Mum gets back. Make sure it's banished forever!

I can't remember the last time I visited the can without having a pair of expectant and slightly confused lab eyes staring at me...

Blonde said...

It's not just labs. I have a moggy who has the same loo obsession...

theperpetualspiral said...

I'm working from home today and where ever I go I have two dog shadows with me.

Lets hope your father manages to hide the rug somewhere where your mum will not go looking for it!

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Punctuation - Blummin' heck. And she said she was just visiting friends. Now I know that her friends are actually KGB agents, importing diamonds from nearby Greenland (or something.). Will be all eyes and ears.

Redbookish - You're right. Every chance...

Model - They're like "Where are you going? What about now? And now? You gonna eat that?"

Martin - The weirdest thing is when they're out of sight, I walk up the stairs and suddenly see eyes watching me in the hallway mirror. That freaks me out.

Blonde - When we had the cat, she would also follow, but be a bit more vocal about it.

Perp - On the flip side, they do make good portable foot rests. And yep, with any luck access to the loft will be bolted.

modelofamodernmajorgeneral said...

"and will you be my friend? I'll wag my tail at high speed for you if you will"......

That said, mine is currently asleep on the sofa, upside down, quite content.

Redbookish said...

All you lucky people with dogs, I'm envious! Stop complaining. You'd miss them if they weren't there.

I'm currently petless due to travelling so much and having to work such long hours. I still dream about my old border collie.

 

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