Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Oh, what a lovely day!

"There are currently severe delays on the Bakerloo line, due to a person under a train at Warwick Avenue."

Is it just me, or has there been a sudden rise in inconsiderate bastards throwing themselves under tubes recently?

It's like, bloody hell, yes winter's depressing, yes Christmas is a drag, and yes life can get really, really shit in this vastly expensive city. But if you're thinking of ending it all - your life, your choice folks - I'm just going to put this suggestion out there: why not just do it in the comfort of your own home?

In fairness, I can see the up side of hurling yourself in front of a tube at rush hour (and it is always bloody rush hour); it's quick, you can do it on your way home and your family won't have to see or clear up the mess you inevitably make. But then you are mentally scarring a tube driver and those who choose to remain ON the platform at your chosen station, before causing an evening of travel chaos for thousands of Londoners who just want to get home and eat dinner. Then again, maybe that's the point.

When half of the Central Line was closed last night ("the second jumper this evening" said the TFL worker I spoke to, "and we had three last week"), I had to take an entirely different route home. This meant leaving my car on a roadside by my usual station over night, walking home from somewhere I could get to, and taking a horrendously awful, stop-every-two-minutes train into work today. Seriously, the Metropolitan line gives an whole new meaning to the term "semi-fast".

And the clincher? Despite a 25 minute journey taking twice that, and a 12 minute wait for the next Hammersmith and City Line train at Baker Street, all London Underground lines were apparently running a good service. Ha! Is that like when you say good, but mean really, really categorically bad?

I despair. It's a wonder these people can find a train to jump in front of.

(Non Londoners for whom this is absolutely non-information, please excuse the rant. I've been back to the dentist this afternoon. My lovely day has been made infinitely better by one mother of a filling.)


The Unbearable Banishment said...

Not to be the first to toss a shovel of dirt on you but, remember, you pay for the privilege of riding on the tube.

That whole throwing yourself under a train is merely a cry for attention. If you're going to off yourself, you're going to do it the way Bernie Madoff's son did last week; hang yourself in your home and leave a note for someone to check on the baby in the next room. That guy wasn't monkeying around.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the joys of the Underground. In my experience it either works brilliantly, or terribly. Sadly the latter seems the norm lately.

London-Lass said...

I hear you Jo and second it. Yes, it's awful for everyone involved, etc., etc., (cannot begin to imagine the impact that a suicide on the tube has on the tube driver, any unfortunate witnesses, the family, LU staff and British Transport Police) but, you know, all I wanna sodding do is GET HOME.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Unbearable - That's just it, we pay through the ear (and it goes up every January) to use a transport system that at best stays the same and at worst, deteriorates!

But hey, if people want to end it all under a train that they're paying to power, then hey, I suppose they've got a claim to it ;)

Perp - It's ridiculous...and it's going up again in January. What a joke.

Londonlass - And it's happened sooo many times lately! Like every day there's another one, it's crazy.

Anonymous said...

I have had so many rants about the selfish idiots that throw themselves in front of trains! It's plain, outright, selfish! If you're going to kill yourself, why would you ruin everyone else's day?!

This is seriously a subject that riles me...

Does that make me a bad person?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

No, it makes you quite rational I think.

Like me.



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