Thursday, 21 October 2010

Deal breaker

Something I read on Blonde's blog the other day made me think about relationship deal breakers (choice of shirt in her case, a slightly protruding chin in mine). Her post reminded me of a time when I honestly, truly doubted whether the Boy would become anything more than a fling, as there was one thing that put me off right at the start. 

It happened on the morning after we first met. In my quest to find out as much as I could about this boy before he upped and left, I thought it a good time to pop a very important question:

"Do you like dogs?"

To you, this might not constitute a deal breaker. But when it comes to important issues, you can forget the ex-girlfriend / bed notch tally. If you're going to spend time at my house, where your trainers are likely to be sacrificed to the God of Chewing minutes after taking them off, with a girl for whom the words 'parent free house' also mean "dog sitting duties', it was an essential thing to ask.

See, if I've got to walk the little scamps on a cold Sunday morning with a hangover, what I really want is a bloke who'll don a pair of Hunters, pick up the lead, grab the ball thrower and come with me. Not someone who will adopt a disgruntled tone, tut and say "Ohhhh, do we have to? Can't you do it?" while complaining about the cold. Been there, done that, got pissed off.

So you can probably imagine my dismay when the Boy replied "No, not really. I don't like them. I'm more of a cat person".  My heart dropped. This, I concluded, did not bode well. This would never, could never work.

Sure enough, the first meeting was a nervous affair. You can tell a lot about a boy from his reaction to having a wet nose unceremoniously shoved in the direction of their crotch. You can glean even more from his reaction to having a soggy tennis ball dropped on his pristine Nudie jeans again, and again, and again through the course of an afternoon.

And so after being subjected to walks around cold, wet fields, goaded by impatient barks and more wet dogs than you can shake a large, muddy stick at, it was nice to see last weekend that my previously non-Dog-loving Boyfriend had made something of a turnaround in the dog stakes. If this sofa scene is anything to go by, anyway.

But let's be realistic. Look at those little faces. It's not like he ever had a choice.


Kirses said...

Yay - you've converted him, I challenge anyone to dislike a labrador - they are the nicest creatures on earth.

jman said...

When I see dogs like labs I wonder what it is like to always be in a good mood? How exactly do they do it? As for dogs, I like other people's dogs, ones you can play with but then give back when the responsibility part comes in and you've just been offered a free ticket to Paris leaving now.

London-Lass said...

Aww ... it must be love :)

Jersey said...

oh they are adorable. how could he resist?

not twitter said...

Poor bugger's pinned down and petrified. Labs, they'll rip your throat out...

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Kirses - Well once, one of our labs got out and escaped into a next door neighbour's garden. They called the police and said there was a rottweiler in the garden. They weren't too keen on dogs.

jman - Yeah I think that's the attitude the boyfriend takes. Although he now seems to want his own dog. He was never allowed pets, let alone (as you say) constantly happy ones such as mine.

Londonlass - With who, me or the dogs :D

Jersey - The blonde one didn't ever give him a say in the matter. She's rather attached to him, and visa versa, I think.

Not twitter - Especially these two. That picture is just before they pounced, teeth bared.

Anonymous said...

Same here, 'cept rats rather than dogs. Boy Wonder gave me a funny look when I said about my pets.

But you've witnessed his rat love on the vlogs recently so you know he came around.

Rats are great. Dogs are great. Some boys are great.

Not fussed about cats, me.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Boys definitely improve their greatness once they sit down and let your pets run all over them.

Brennig said...

On the strength of this line:
Do you like dogs?

I've edited a scene in a sitcom I'm writing.

It was funny before. Now it's hilarious. Thanks.

Helen said...

Not liking dogs is totally my deal breaker! Dogs > cats.

Brennig said...

It's in the context. The word has more than one meaning and when that meaning becomes muddled... Funny!

Anonymous said...

A great test for me was not only seeing if the current Mrs Perpetual liked dogs, but was also happy to help wash the unexpected fox shit off the Beagle after a Sunday morning walk.

I couldn't be with someone who didn't like dogs, our two have become an integral part of our lives now.

Anonymous said...

(Though ours are not allowed on the sofa. How do yours get away with that?)

Ellie said...

Look how the beast has him pinned down.

Our vicious beast was hanging out with two under 12 year olds today. I'm not sure how the mother managed it.

Our beast managed not to eat either of the children.

Anonymous said...

they look lovely! how could he resist???

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Brennig - Glad to be of service.

Helen - Yeah exactly. I mean cats have their place, I for one am partial to a bit of purring, but when it comes to sunday walks...dogs have the upper hand. or paw.

Perp - Re: the washing shit bit, been there. It was cow shit last Sunday. And picking up sick, too. Boy's done that (dogs, not mine). and Re: Sofas, they have designated times and blankets. And there are rules against it, but a well placed "look" usually wins over my parents.

Ellie - Our vicious beast nearly ran riot in a cafe the other day. Cue me running after him all delicate and that, weilding a lead, shouting "Charlie! Charlie! No, COME! No! Not the sandwiches!"

monkey - He can't. No one can. Well, apart from a few over cautious mothers.


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