Thursday, 22 October 2009

Note to the sick

They’re all ill.

Everyone around me; coughing, spluttering and staggering about the place like victims of a stapler borne mucus plague. And the air is thick with germs. Germy little sneezes and sniffs have travelled around my office this week in a snotty Mexican wave. Lemsip, daily tips and health assessments are shared in a particularly unsavoury form of team bonding. It’s 9am folks! Time for the fire alarm, cereal, coffee and the same daily conversations which begin with a tilt of the head and a “How are you feeling today?”. Well snotbag, at the moment I'm fine. Yesterday I sneezed because I inadvertantly inhaled some pepper, but today's another day. Oh, and I'd be a hell of a lot better if you stayed at home and stopped coughing your concern onto my keyboard.

Do they take a day off work? Do they hell. No, they come into work because taking time off, even when championing germ warfare, is not the done thing. Oh sure, they’re busy, they’ve got stuff to do, stuff that can’t wait. But this is the 21st century. Phones can be diverted to mobiles and emails can be checked remotely. Teleconferences are all the rage. Video conferencing is the new vogue. Office workers of the world, observe my message: Sick days are there to be taken. Clue's in the name: they’re days for when you’re sick. You know when you wake up and feel so groggy with a cold that you can’t face getting out of bed? Yes? Well that’s the first signal that you should stay in bed. That means don’t leave the house, don't transfer your cold onto a tube carriage and don't share the wealth at work.

Just stay in bed. Please. My throat demands it.

6 comments:

The Unbearable Banishment said...

I don't need to remind you that your departure date for your long adventure is fast approaching. Being sick is not a viable option for you. Don't tough your face! Seriously. That's how germs get in. You scratch your nose, rub your eye, pick a morsel of food out of your teeth and the next thing you know you're running a fever.

This is Dr. UB, signing off.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Don't "tough" your face? Not only that, you shouldn't touch it either.

Time Traveller said...

I don't know why people insist on coming to work when sick. WHY?

It was worse when I was a contractor, a day off work costs me money. So coming into work soldiering on doesn't do me any favours when they pass it onto me!

Elaine said...

The trouble is, if you stay off, everyone says: "She's got the flu. Yeah, right. Course she has."

Tis a tough call when you feel obliged to show your face, however snotty it is.

Ellie said...

I'm planning on the days I'm going to be sick for the rest of the year. ;p

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

UB - Noted. Consider me tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and some horlicks until further notice. Over and out.

Time traveller - That's my problem, as a temp, I don't get paid for sick days. Less of an incentive to take time off I know, but I probably wouldn't get ill if the salary earners stayed at home!

Elaine - See, I think that might be the case in some offices, but given the plague thats currently doing the rounds at my work, there would be no doubt the person was ill!

Ellie - Now there's a sensible girl :)

 

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