Friday, 28 August 2009

# Much success to ya, even if you wish me the opposite

I suppose the difficult bit about leaving the country for a while isn't so much the booking, packing and catching the flight. Inevitably, a lot of the feelings surrounding travel involves the people you're leaving behind. In fact, that's precisely what stopped me doing it sooner; I worried that I'd lose friends simply by not being around, that staying in the country would somehow prevent my ex from moving on, or just that I'd miss out on London life. I might whinge, but never underestimate how much I love living in this city. Then there's family to consider. Leave now, and I'd be missing mum and my dad's wedding anniversary, their 60th birthdays, as well as my sister's 30th. And god, did I know about it. All aboard the Guuuiillltt Trip. 

But everything we do is a choice. If there are two options available, you'll always have to let someone down. Go or stay. That might be not turning up for a mate's birthday or deciding to lollop half way across the world. You might have already made a commitment to something else, or it might be a long standing loyalty. But anytime you say 'Ahh, I can't, I have to do...', to be honest that's a load of crap. You don't have to do anything, you weigh up the options and do what you think is best to do or, ideally, whatever got there first. We just convince ourselves that we have no option, but in truth we always do. 

I can come up with a million reasons why travelling is a bad idea. Like I told my disgruntled mum, there will never be a good time to go away, but likewise, I've decided that October is the best bet. Telling people you're leaving the country for a while is also a good leveller. Those who want to rectify their differences with me have been invited to do so - the olive branch has been extended. Those who want to party on down as much as possible beforehand are also making themselves known. It's all about coming to the conclusion that yeah, I'm leaving people, but it's those who are still there when I get back who actually matter. Time will tell...

9 comments:

The Unbearable Banishment said...

...there will never be a good time to go away...

Well, you're wrong there. This is a PERFECT time for you to go away. Take my word for it. And when the naysayers start coming out of the woodwork, stick your fingers in your ears and yell loudly, "la la la la I'm not listening to you la la la..."

Chapati said...

Hear hear. There will always be a reason not to do it, good on you for overcoming that...

As you say, its those who are still around when you come back who are your true friends!

Robbie said...

Pretty sure good friends would rather be celebrating you doing something great then making you feel guilty about missing a party.

You should just gather everyone together for your "leaving party" and celebrate all to-be-missed parties/celebrations/anniversaries. Then no one can complain really...

ninetyninewords said...

As you've already worked out there is never a good time to make your exit.
Or an my best mate would put it "Fuck 'em."

Lori W. said...

If you think traveling out of the country does that, you should see what happens when you MOVE out of the country. I moved from the States to Japan last year...trust me, I feel ya.

As someone else said..."fuck 'em." Real friends will get over themselves and wish you the best.

Elaine said...

I very nearly, almost, moved to Spain about 10 years ago. There were many people (I don't have enough fingers) who actually put the phone down on me whenever I brought it up.

Go for it, Jo.

I had to read this about five times:

"...that staying in the country would somehow prevent my ex from moving on..."

At first I couldn't decide if you wanted to prevent him from moving on, or not. Gimme a break though...it's stupid o clock in the morning :)

How long do you plan to go for?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Unbearable - See I think it's a good time, but something always comes up if you wait too long. If I hadn't booked it there and then, I'd probably just have procrastinated my way out of it.

Chapati - Indeed, I'm looking forward to finding out actually.

Robbie - Yeah I'm having a bithday / say goodbye thing next week. Nothing big though.

ninetynine - Nicely said!

Lori - God, yeah I suppose that's bound to be worse. Its just upheavel, I suppose. Especially for family. they don't like changes.

Elaine - I suppose I mean that somehow if I was still around, he wouldn't get a new girlfriend or something. I don't know how it works in my head, its a strange thing.

Fantasia Lillith said...

Really? I have always loved to travel and no one has ever made me feel bad for it. Perhaps because it's just who I am so no one can say anyhting anymore... they know better.

A r4eally wise friend once told me the key to a balanced life is this:
1/3, 1/3, 1/3.

That's:
1/3 you focus/spend energy on family
1/3 on your friends & spouse/partner
1/3 on YOU.

Do this for you. If you don't include yourself in the math - you will never lead a balnced life.

theperpetualspiral said...

If you tried to please everyone with regards to the date of your trip, you'd never be able to go!

 

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