That great question of our life and times, gateway to knowledge and a harvest of the brain. Mmm, knowledge. Observe:
E.g. Why is e.g short for "for example"? Shouldn't it be "F.e."? Why is the sky mostly grey? Why do people insist on trying to make dungarees fashionable every couple of years? Why do British people queue so much for everything? Why do some places charge such extortionate amounts for a cup of peppermint tea, when by rights it's just hot water and a few leaves? Why does the sound of someone eating make my stomach boil with irrevocable fury? Why does the North Circular break, delaying thousands of commuters on route to work - every - single - day? Why do cyclists wear lycra on the way to work, does it really increase their speed that much?
Why when I turned up for Boxercise the other night, on the one night I decided to actually use the scathing, money grabbing arse-pit of a gym that I'm a member of straight after work and wait an hour and a quarter for a class to start, did no one turn up apart from me and another equally baffled couple? Why did the receptionist not know what was going on, where the instructor was or why it wasn't running? Why was Stability Ball, a class that requires you to be middle aged, incontinent and able to stretch yourself over a large, bouncy ball, the only other class running? Why was it full? Why on that morning, the only morning in the history of portable music, did I pack my bag and fail to include my earphones, was that the one night I had to use the gym because Boxercise inexplicably wasn't running? Why did I choose the one exercise bike next to the man sweating so profusely that a salty stream dripped from his face onto the machine, causing a puddle of bodily fluid to gather on the floor around him? Why did no one go "Mate, that's rank...here's a mop"?
And more importantly:
Why do children pick their nose and eat it? Why do adults think they can't be seen when they pick their nose and inspect it while sitting behind me in a traffic jam? Why do you use your index finger to pick your nose when you're little, then switch to a thumb when you're older?
Pick one. (Not your nose, a question.) Answer it. Make my day.