I'm not sure exactly what it is, whether I'm just keeping my brain occupied with random thoughts that will never come to fruition...but I keep coming up with stuff I want to try and do. Little challenges set by me, for me. If I was in some sort of counselling session, they'd be called something utterly repellent, like "Personal goals".
These whimsical little ideas range from stuff like "tidy my room before Eastenders" to more testing things such as "abstain from facebook for a day / weekend". The latter came about after Devilbook suggested that I might "know" and want to be friends with my ex's ex girlfriend, who I affectionately call Gromit (not to her face. I hate her face). If anyone else had suggested such a thing, repeatedly, every 5 minutes, despite me telling them to shut up and clicking 'x', I would disown them. And so it goes with the 'book.
Unfortunately, after 24 hours, I decided that I better log on just to check no one had sent me anything important. And change my status alerting the world that I was leaving Devilbook's toxic shores for a while. But since Saturday, I've not been on. Promise.
There's one other thought I keep coming back to, mulling over, churning around like a bad curry. It's a bit cliche, like I keep mentioning it to friends and getting the raised eyebrows of disbelief. It's that old chestnut...1,2,3... cutting out alcohol.
The reasons are not to do with my health, well being, or even those god awful all consuming hangovers the next day. It's money. I'm regularly withdrawing up to £50 two or three times a week to subsidise nights out. London is an expensive place to drink, and as you read the other day, an expensive, irritating place to get home from.
If I was in full time work, to be honest I wouldn't even consider it. But with no paycheck on its way and a fairly busy social calendar over the next month, my funds are already dwindling. I don't want to stop going out, in fact, I want to go out more often. I want to meet people, specifically blokes (my own age. another challenge?)and friends, old and new.
The downsides to stopping drinking are numerous: I hate being around drunk people when I'm sober. I do not find them amusing, just annoying. I'd hate having to drive obliterated people around like some sort of roving, shouting, gear stick grabbing drunk-mobile. That, and I find it difficult to get into the swing of things without a drink unless I'm somewhere the music is really good. I hate bullshitters, and people bullshit a lot when they're drunk; lies, exagerrations and false promises seep from their mouth like vodka dribble. I don't want to be the one whose on a different level of enjoyment to my friends on a night out, but part of me kind of wants to see if I can change all that ^, you know, maybe I'll get used to people grabbing the corners of my mouth upwards and yelling a boozey-breathed "SMIIILLEE!" into my face.
I could cut down, limit myself and be strict - but again, I find that incredibly difficult. Mostly because if I go out and only have two drinks, get a bit merry but stop there...I'm not that pissed, but still over drink drive limit and still paying extortionate amounts for a cab home.
I'm not thinking of doing it all officially like telling everyone and setting a time frame, because there are certain situations coming up that I will want to drink and have a good time. So I think it's just about cutting down, picking and choosing where I drink and where I drive.
I'm in two minds. I could just get a proper job.
But on the other hand, I like a challenge..and I'm curious as to how much money I'd save by being teetotal for a little bit. Hmmmm. What say you?
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13 comments:
I abhor personal goals. Recently, I’ve had to answer the question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I always end up mumbling an unintelligible answer.
Re: Devilbook. I happen to know the blog address for the boyfriend of The Girl I Was Meant to Marry many years ago. It’s a daily struggle to stay off of it and I’ve been doing very well but I was out of town this weekend and bored and went on for a read. I’m happy to report that his blog is incredibly dull. I like mine better. But he does sleep with my ex-girlfriend, so he has that over on me.
You could ask your dad for a few quid so you could go out drinking. You never know.
Last March I drank only evenings. It was hard. Social drinking in the UK is extreme. It's everywhere all the time. After work to hang with the coworkers (who are great and worthwhile), at dinners, weddings, turning British ceremonies / parties, meeting up with bloggers (you have to lube up for that experience!). There is always a reason. I've been trying to muster up the discipline again this year, but I've failed that challenge. Best of luck to you and your purse. x, c
Unbearable - Usually I'm with you on the personal goals thing. I don't know where all these ideas have sprung from. I think it's me knowing that without a 9-5 office job, I'm going to have to keep my mind occupied with an equally inane activity. And re: facebook, he may have your girlfriend's vag, but a way with words is much more appealing. Re: ask dad, I've tapped that fund for many a year. Mum's a better bet. She then asks dad.
Ellie - Yeeaah, that's the thing. People will say 'oh just stop drinking' but it's hard, because everyone does it at every occasion. Fact is, if I go out with just one other friend, she's not going to sit there drinking a bottle of wine on her own, and neither of us are going to sit in a pub drinking lemonade. We might as well be at home, where the prospect of socialising with anyone else is presicely NIL.
2 drinks and you're a bit merry? What are you drinking, Special Brew?! :)
One of my friends doesn't drink and regularly comes out with us drunken arses. I've no idea how we don't get on his nerves to be honest, but it doesn't seem to bother some people.
I've tried it once or twice and found it impossible. It makes you realise how much of a knob everyone is when they are drunk.
You'll save a small fortune though, good luck.
"2 drinks and you're a bit merry? What are you drinking, Special Brew?! :)"
No, no. Wine, my dear, wine.
:-D
I'm always setting myself little challenges... My latest one was to have disconnect days, or evenings where I wouldn't connect to any internetty type thing.
As for the alcohol... I hate all the falseness it brings out in people, so never been a massive fan. Plus I haven't drank any for nearly three years, but that is another story.
Yeah the anti-facebook is my attempt at disconnecting from the internet a little bit. It's fine if you're just using the net for essential communication or work, but when you start spending hours on it just to fill time when you really should or could be doing something else...thats when it's good to step back.
Good on you for the not drinking thing. That takes a lot of strength.
Although people - I went out tonight & drove! My friends got wine and I had half a glass and a pint of lemonade. Cost = £1
[Engaging irony chip. Irony chip engaged]
Oh I *love* Facebook. It's so easy to use and uncluttered and intuitive. I particularly love the way when someone wants access to my birthday I they automatically get access to all my friends! It's so completely wonderful. It's the best thing since forever. And simple. And brilliant. And and and and. Great!
[Disengaging irony chip. Irony chip disengaged]
urgh, i fill my time with booze and the net. Yes thats right i need to drink to socialise and i socialise on the net.
Am i sad and wierd? No just normal!
Brennig - [sarasm chip engaged] And ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I love it so much I'm now on day 3 of facebook banishment. Mmmm. I'm suffering hugely as a result. My life has definitely taken a turn for the worse. My friends have all but abandoned me. I think I might die. I don't even know how to communicate without the words "Wall to Wall" being used. HELP. [sarcasm chip disengaged]
smidge - Not sad or weird, but normal...and I suspect, just as unhinged as the rest of us :)
ah but think of all eh blog fodder drunk people provide and if you are sober enough to remember it all in detail you could amuse all your blog minions
What about wine spritzers? Less alcohol, less price ... ?
(I am sitting here with a fresh perm on my bonce, so perhaps that might explain my very 80's suggestion.)
"I've tried it once or twice and found it impossible. It makes you realise how much of a knob everyone is when they are drunk"
-I've tried it many times and find it hilarious for exactly the same reason. You can take the piss ruthlessly, and they just think you're funny and smart. Genius.
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