Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Ming mong tube stories

I just thought I'd log this complaint about a girl who I saw on my tube carriage yesterday morning. I don't think it's really the sort of thing that TFL would do anything about, and screaming 'OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO RANK' in someones face first thing isn't really a productive way to start the day (too much hate).

I'm always quite interested in what other members of the public do when they think no one's watching. Like when you're in at traffic jam at night; it's amazing how many people sit there picking their noses thinking that because it's dark, no one can see in. Or thinking no one will be watching, even if it's daylight. Like the bloke I saw opposite me on the tube a few weeks ago with his finger rriiiighhtt up his hooter, having a good old root around. Then my favourite thing is to let them know that I've seen them. So with nose picker, I fought revulsion and carried on staring, until he got that 'someone's staring at me' feeling and looked up. I held his gaze, wrinkled my nose and there. Job done.

Yesterday a girl got on at the stop after me, she was maybe 17 or 18. Anyway - she's standing in front of me and she's got her fingers in her mouth. At first I thought she was biting her nails or something, but she just seemed to be holding them there. Like her index and forefinger right in her mouth - as if she was literally holding her tongue. So I'm watching her and wondering what exactly she's going to do with them once she takes them out. Wipe on the jacket? Air dry? The possibilities are endless.

Nope. Straight back on the hand rail.

Yep...the dirty hand rail where everyone elses dirty hands go, including one which has just been in someone's mouth.

Better still, a few minutes later and the same hand is back in her mouth again.


That'll teach me not to forget my book.


Anonymous said...

Do you own the copyright on the phrase 'dutty ming mong' or can I use it? :D

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Spread the ming mong word...sometimes nothing describes horribleness better.

Anonymous said...


I saw a chap picking his ear in his car this morning. He picked the stuff out, then examined it for ages on his finger before wiping it on the empty passenger seat. Another good reason never to accept lifts from strangers.

Tabby said...

My worst tube experience has to be on the district line during morning rush hour when some city type, who was crammed up against me, sneeze without even covering his mouth and a Flem landed on my shoulder. I nearly cried. And i get the overland train to work now. urgh urgh urgh I really HATE London transport. Take me back to Derbyshire and commuting by cars and roads please!!!!!

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Reluctant - Euurrrgh. I always see people picking their ears. Then they roll whatever they've found around in between their thumb and forefinger, before wiping it somewhere. Charming.

Tabby - OH DEAR GOD. I would have gone ape shiz. I would have cried then screamed 'YOU FOWL BEAST! BEGONE!' into his sneezey bogey face. URGHHHHHH.

weenie said...

Maybe it's not dirty mouths you should be worrying about...


Moral of the story...wear gloves if you have to touch anything! Disinfect when you get home/to the office!

Anonymous said...

I wonder what it is that makes the underground bring out the dirty and disgusting people?


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