I just donnnnnt want to chat, GET ME!

Haha. You know what I did yesterday. I actually hid from someone I didn't want to talk to in the office.

I haven't hidden from someone in aaaaaggges. You know when you use proper stealth avoidance tactics.

There's a bloke in the office, who, when bored, is a menace to what I like to call my afternoon quiet time. Every afternoon he'll get bored and do the rounds, stop by my desk and hang about there for longer than the time deemed acceptable for office lingering. Especially if I'm trying to do some work, clearly answering the phone, typing, looking at the screen, eating a biscuit - he doesn't seem to take the hint. Then there's the way he speaks. Those of you who aren't familiar with London accents might not get it, but Londoners you surely will. He speaks like a rudeboy. Making a sucking noise with his mouth at the end of sentences. Kissing his teeth. Punctuating his speech with a drawn out 'Laaiiiike', 'You knoo', 'you get me' or worse still, 'init'. It drives me mad.

Argh, and he always has some sort of story to tell and he'll tell it really dramatically and sloooowwwwly to draw out the time away from his desk. Monday he decided to fill me in on how bad Sunday had been. His car, you knooo, had got a puncture on the way to football and he'd had to change it, init. That, as far as I can tell, was the gist of it, but he managed to draw it out for a good five minutes "and, oh my GOSH! It was, laaike, raining and naaaaasty, you get me!". He then whittled on about football, which I hate more than packaged sandwiches. Even when I told him I hate football, "especially when blokes go on about it", we then had to have a discussion about that. That's right: we had a discussion about how much I hate discussions about football. And no amount of busying myself with the four page handwritten document in front of me (which might as well have been written in Arabic for all the sense it made) would stop it.

Then after about ten minutes more of him hanging around my desk yabbering on about football (which I hate, did I mention that) he finally said "Raaaite, well laike I be'ah get back to my work now, init" and meandered off and away. Thank god for that.

So yesterday, I wasn't having it. I peeked over my computer and saw him wondering my way. Immediately got up and dashed past him in manner of Busy Woman Going About Duties and hid behind someones desk on the other side of the office. I kept poking my head around and when I saw he was gone, I went back.

Now I'm not a wholly unsociable little scamp. I do like a bit of conversation to pass the day, but blimey - office bores of the world take note - hints are there to be taken. Init.