Monday, 11 August 2008

I'm going to Greece on Friday.

Two days will be spent in Athens, sweating like a fat British tourist in a hot country, then me and boyfriend will be meeting his parents on their boat for a week of sailing around the islands. I say sailing. I will mostly be lying on deck, book in one hand, sun cream in the other, attractive red blotchy heat patches and sunburn creeping over my body.



I'm preparing myself: spending more than my requisite 30seconds in the sauna in an attempt to get my body used to the heat, and booking hotels. I found one, by the way. Eventually mum said she'd help out (i.e. pay for a night) which has meant we're able to stay somewhere that doesn't offer an entrance carpet made of discarded needles or by the hour room service, if you catch my drift.

Even booking a nice hotel wasn't easy. I booked on priceline.co.uk believing it to be the cheapest room rate, then found out that it was actually more expensive than booking through the hotel itself. One firmly worded email and a phone call later, and that particular booking was cancelled so I could rebook minutes later for 20 euros less. Watch out for those pesky sites, they'll get ya. 'Best Price Promise' indeed. Pah. PAH!

Also, does anyone else hate it when you get a litttttle bit burnt, or even just a bit red on the old shoulders, and some smart arse (usually with a ravishing golden tan) goes 'Oooooooooooooooooooooooh...you've caught the sun, ouch! That looks painful!'

Have I? Does it really? You mean pasty white me has dared to get some colour and it's not the socially accepted orangey brown that the world aspires to? And they always have that really concerned look on their face; a mixture between pity and sympathy like you've just failed a test or something.

Look, tanned people. Us whitey's are perfectly aware that if we go in the sun, we'll go red. We accept that. We know. It's often not that painful. It's just a bit hot. Telling me that my face has gone the colour of a tomato will not make the situation any better. You go your colour, we'll go ours. Don't look at us like we've contracted a disease that will wipe out the tanned population unless we put some factor 30 on.

Brown is so 1990.

12 comments:

Mjohnson said...

Yer! Woop! I'm with ya whitey. My face got sunburned on Saturday and people are all like 'how did you catch the sun this weekend?' like it can't possibly be sunburn, it must be the first syptom of a wasting disease.

I call racism!

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Mrs. Wife is Irish and burns like one. Inside and out. Fortunately, it seems that both daughters have inherited the golden brown Mediterranean pigment of my Italian heritage. And, yes, it makes us feel just a tad superior. Bon voyage.

pinkjellybaby said...

Not to be an annoying 'tanned person' or anything....but why not just put a high factor on and not burn?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

mjohnson - woooo yeah! How dare you go red in the sun! It's just not cricket!

unbearable - I remember the days (well, I don't coz it was ages ago), when being white was a sign of wealth and amazingness...ahhhh, bring back those times.

pjb - Because I don't want to remain pasty white! Even worse than coming back from holiday with a red face is coming back from a holiday with no colour at all. Usually my redness fades into a darker shade of pale, so if going a little bit red achieves that...so be it. Hurrah for factor 15!

pawpads said...

From my Spanish background I am naturally dark and go even darker at just a smallest hint of sun.
Yesterday at Karate I had to grab someone on the shoulder only for her to howl in pain as she had severely burnt shoulders.

Silly girl shouldn't really have been at training since it then turned out that she could hardly move ~ but it made me look super hard!

Enjoy your holiday. I love Greece.

Rol said...

I'm jealous. My own Greek holiday seems SO long ago now!

And I came back virtually the same colour I went.

London-Lass said...

Oo enjoy Greece! And, although a fellow `whitey', I remember managing to get through a 2-week hol in Cyprus a few years ago where temps were around 44-45 degrees every day (bit of a heatwave going on) and I didnt get a smidge of sunburn. So you might be equally lucky and keep all those tanners at bay.

I do remember, however, going to Miami with my bro for a fortnight's stay a coupla Septembers ago and having this old bird tap me on the shoulder at some animal sanctuary in the Florida Keys and state that I was awfully pale and that I should be really careful not to burn ... I hadnt actually burned though, just was apparently far too pale for her liking. The aging crone.

Miss Understood said...

Ooh, you lucky girl. I've never been to Greece.

That Johnson's holiday skin stuff is pretty good. And cheap.

Robbie said...

Enjoy the sun,
Lucky we sorted out your Nokia Maps/internet connection problem, before you flew away as that mgiht of cost you quite a bit whilst abroad.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

pawpads - Youch...karate's not a good idea for burnt people. Physical contact and all that?

Rol - Your photos made me really look forward to it! I always like to kid myself that I'm a different colour to when I went...but most of the time no one notices.

Londonlass - Helllooo! oh god, I know people are only trying to help when they say stuff like that, but do you see me going up to tanned people and saying 'Ooh, careful there, you're looking awfully brown. You'll end up looking like a piece of toast if you don't watch out!'

Miss - I've never been either. I'm more a fan of the Dove stuff, but it take so much upkeep I often forget to put it on.

Ta muchly Robbie - and yes - maximum thanks for saving me another hundred quid! I've downloaded England and Greek maps, so hopefully I should never be lost (or overcharged) again.

Jo said...

Okay, I didn't get much past the

'his parents on their boat'...

am I superficial or what?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Jo - Haha, it's a lovely luxury to have, I agree.

 

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