Monday, 4 August 2008

Oh hello! Here's a job! Mmm, commission!

I'm still job hunting.

Last week I signed up to my 12,89743,65263,42th recruitment agency, following a job I found on the Guardian jobs site. Seemed like a pretty decent job; PA to a director of a big publishing firm, £26k and a chance to do editorial shiz as well. In other words, basically one of those adverts the recruitment companies put out there to get people like me going OOOOH! That'd be a treat, wouldn't it just! As I'd suspected, the mystery job was 'already under interview' aka, never existed, but whatever...I decided to go along to their Oxford Street offices to sign up anyway.

The first sign that this agency was going to be particularly useless was when Sgt Scatterbrain who I'd spoken to on the phone forgot to send me the email confirming the appointment, telling me what to bring and crucially, where the offices actually were. I sent an email asking for said details later that night. Heard nothing. Luckily I used my subhuman powers of investigation (google), found the address and headed there the next day for 12pm.

I arrived late at 12:15.

They didn't care.

I filled in forms and had a spelling test . Definitely spelt amendment wrong (one 'm'. whoops).

Scatterbrain collected me and my eager little job hunting eyes from reception. I should have realised he'd be rubbish when I clocked the tight blue skinny jeans, cropped bleach blond hair, matching yellow t-shirt, chequered black and blue socks and those awful white plimsoles you get for £15 a pop in Topman. Oh blimey, thought I, he'd make a wonderful addition to my collection, but what can he add to my career?

The interview went like this: blah blah blah, we've got an admin job, blah blah blah, gotta start somewhere, blah blah blah, I see you worked at the broadcasting company, why did you leave? blah blah blah, yadda yadda, so, about this admin job? blah blah blah, well I'll put you forward for this job then we'll go from there. Thanks Joanna, here's my card. Speak to you soon!

And out of the whole 10 minute meeting, I've got a job!

Joke! Not really.

I'm still umemployed.

Still, another one rung me today off I just can't say no to the little scamps. They've tested my excel, word, spelling, grammar and typing capabilities and I haven't even left the house. They're offering secretarial temp work in the town where I live.

Sounds great, I said.

My CV says I'm looking for permanent publishing work in central London, but hey, don't let that stop you calling. 


The Unbearable Banishment said...

Interviewing is NEVER a waste of time, even when it seems to be a waste of time! The more interviews you conduct, the better adept you’ll become at telling your story. Practice with the zeros so that when it counts, you’ll be polished and ready to pounce. They won’t know what hit them, the poor things.

Blue soup said...

I have had some shit consultants but recently stumbled upon a great one (as passed on to Hannah). I know you want to do publishing, but if PR is up your street, let me know and I'll send you her dets.

surviving myself said...

I enjoy your paintings, can I purchase one of these fine prints?

nuttycow said...

Recruitment consultants are *all* evil. It's true. I used to be one.

Keep at it though. As UB says, it's all practice in the end. And that is a good thing.

If you like, I can have an ask around people I know? Get in touch and let me know.

blueskies2day said...

ARG! I hate the way recruitment agencies do not care in the slightest what kind of job you want (and if you are a quiet job hunter and don't pester them, they don't even care that you want a job), all they care about is filling their admin jobs and scraping a little of your wages off the top. I wish you luck and I hope you manage to find something which actually corresponds with your career direction and experience (instead of being a human calculator / filing clerk).

arbyn said...

you know, it's a mad skill to match a yellow top with bleach blonde hair.

Just sayin. It's a lot easier to clash.

Robbie said...

Good on you for not taking on "that temp job until something better comes along." I hate trying to get out of those jobs.
Not that I ever had a plan but the plan was never meant to include that particular job.

pawpads said...

Not listening to what kid of a job you require seems to be compulsary. I could do that!

Miss Understood said...

I would hate to be in recruitment. I think I'd pull names out of a bucket, too.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

unbearable - I agree, interviewing isn't a waste of time...but signing up to a million and one temp agencies who have no interest in getting you an interview in the first place is a waste of time. They must have targets to recruit a certain amount of people. Can anyone confirm? Nuttycow?

blue - If publishing falls through, PR might be the next step forward. Is it as badly paid as publishing?

surviving - You may, in fact, I make them to order. Sod it, I'm unemployed...I'd sell my chair for some money.

nuttycow - Thanks for the offer. I'm signing up to another one today (useless) but if all falls flat I may well ask for some contacts! Out of interest - what sort of evil things would you do?

blueskies - So do I. I'm only signing up to the one who rang yesterday as they're least I don't have to go hunting around central london (more money). I've had a good agency once, but they changed management and lost their charm.

arbyn - God, my picture doesn't even do him justice. It was a strange look for a recruitment consultant. I thought they wore suits.

Robbie - I don't mind doing week in, week out temping...but this one's going on like "ooh, we've got this great admin job, 9 months!" I'm like, I want permanent work in publishing "ooh well, this could turn permanent"..great.

pawpads - Not a bad idea...maybe with all my experience, I can become a consultant?

Miss - the problem is there's almost so much potential to do a really good job, so many consultants just don't give a shit.

nuttycow -

Blue soup said...

Is PR as badly paid as publishing?

Yes. At our level, there's no point in lying ;) But the idea is that you'll be good at it and go up and one day be one of the top dogs who rakes in shitloads.

That's the idea anyway.

Hannah said...

Love and sympathy is all I have to offer on the subject.

Sandra said...

do companies ever look up your blogs/facebook/bebo pages before interviewing?

just wondering.....

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Sandra - They'd have a hard time gaining any info from them as all info on my facebook is set to private and this blog is anonymous... so I don't think they're to blame for my bad luck with recruitment agencies.


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