Wednesday, 30 July 2008


This morning I was eating a bit of toast, it was all yummy and chocolaty spread covered so I was thinking 'Mmmm, yum, this is the stuff breakfasts are made of, this is a special occasion, chocolate for breakfast!' then I remembered the dream I'd had the night before..

(cue you whinging ninnies who go "meehhhhhh reading about other people's dreams is boorrrriinnnnngggg." stick this in your pipe and smoke it)

Almost immediately after remembering the dream, in which a chunk of back tooth had fallen off and I'd had a right old panic about the whole thing, I felt something come loose on the inside of my lower front tooth.

Shheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, thought I, I've only gone and become a clairvoyant.

Sure enough, ladies and sceptics, I was missing a bit of tooth. Luckily it was a small bit of the top edge, and with it being on the inside I didn't look like an old toothy witch or anything. But I was still like AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, mostly because although it didn't hurt and infact I swallowed the bit of tooth before I realised what the extra crunch was...I generally go a little bit head mental whenever something minor like that happens.

I waited for some pain, and nothing. I waited for a sharp nervy smack on the nashers when I ate something hot. Nothing. I waited for a huge searing howl when I drank a cold drink. Not a dicky bird. Hmmmm. The real pain came when I realised that I may have to go to the DENTIST to get it filled in.

I've avoided the dentist like the plague for a good few years now, making sure I scrub my pearly whites night and day, flossing, rinsing, the lot. Anything to avoid those rubbery gloves and the funny pink drink (although that was always the best bit in a way. That and those furry sticker things with the tails they'd give you afterwards)

But I think I'm going to have to go soon, and the thought of it fills me with dread. When I was younger and had to have some fillings and toothies removed, such was my fear that I had to go to this special dentist place for under 18s where they gave you a walkman and some laughing gas so you forgot all your woes, ie. the syringe heading for your gums, and made you laugh uncontrollably at the clock on the wall. It eventually meant I lost all fear and the dentist became a literal laugh a minute.

Unfortunately that's all in the past and the fear has since returned. I know I have to go. I know I know I know. But, if I could just be 14 again for a moment...ahem:



The Unbearable Banishment said...

Here's a cautionary tale. BBC America aired the following documentary in June:

Britain’s Worst Teeth

Britain’s Worst Teeth follows four twenty-somethings with some of the worst teeth in Britain. Their teeth are so bad they affect every aspect of their lives. They are in pain and are embarrassed to go out. They find eating and speaking difficult, and not surprisingly, they find it difficult to attract partners.

I am not making this up.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Alright alright, its not like they're going black and falling out..I'm definitely not finding eating difficult, I'll tell you that. As for the boyfriend, ummm...hmmmm, well, now you mention it...he has gone rather quiet since the old 'look my toothies gawn!' thing...

cramerj said...

Better get them sorted soon. It will be cheaper and prettier in the long run.
Don't forget how long women live these days.
A mixture of flattery (for 'him'?) and visible fear (from you) helps when you see a modern dentist.
I must say recent dentistry is a lot more comfy that in past years and I am 70+ years old.

Miss Understood said...

I won't tell you about my completely horrific dentist exeprience last year then. I haven't been back since.

Honestly...they'll squidge some stuff up and shove it in the hole. Your nerve isn't hanging out so you won't feel a thing!

Hannah said...

Yikes. Can I recommend NOT reading Cat's posts on her horrific dentistry experiences?!

(Any chance you've dreamt up the weekend's lottery numbers?)

Homer said...

God, I hope my dreams don't come true - last night I dreamed that our bed was occupied by two little boy ghosts.

Get to that dentist already, Mystic Meg.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

cramerj - Flattery for him, see here's the problem with that: my dentist has worse teeth than anyone I've ever seen. What's going on there? "Oh, I wish I had teeth like yours!" I don't think sooooo!
But you're right, I can imagine certain procedures are ALOT less painful than 70 years ago...yikes..

Miss - no I don't want to hear your story. Ok, maybe a little bit.
And I'm probably making a huge fuss over nothing, but even the smell of the dentist place...urgh...

hannah - thanks for the warning. and hang on..something's coming to me.... 4...1....6....23...and 59

homer - I kind of hope that dream doesn't come true as well. I've had a few come true. Once when my boyfriend was going to see a van the next day, and I dreamt that there was something wrong with the battery and told him to check it. Then sure enough, the van had a battery problem.

The night before september 11th I had a weird dream of loads of people screaming and running away from a huge explosion in a different country, that was pretty weird. Or coinsidence, whatever.

fwengebola said...

I hate to sound skeptical, but is there any chance that while you were sleeping, something toothlike happened and your unconscious mind wound that event up into a dream?
When I was about 11, I 'experimented' on a mate of mine during a sleepover (DON'T...) When he fell asleep, I popped a Walkman over his head, the old orangey spongey 80s headphones variety. When he woke up, he said he'd dreamt he was in a disco.

Fascinating. And too long a comment for me.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

fwenge, that's entirely probable. I've got no doubt that when people 'see the future' in dreams, there's actually a very logical explanation for it. There are so many outside influences controlling what you do all day, there's no way that everything shuts down and stops affecting you at night.

Love the experiment idea though. I'm going to try that one...

Clarissa said...

I love telling people (the Mista) about my dreams. I'll write about my dreams. So I applaud anyone else doing the same!

I've seen the show referenced in the first comment. It truly causes cringing.


Cataclismical said...

Wait till your father takes a tooth out for you and your mother can't be in the room because she's in a state and you are already near hysterical in the chair .. but wait, my father WAS a dentist .. which was a GOOD thing .. because I could bite him (and it didn't cost me! money!)

GO TO THE DENTIST NOW! (he needs the money!!)

theperpetualspiral said...

I feel your pain about not wanting to go to the dentist. I haven't been for six years, it was seven years before that but two impacted wisdom teeth ended that streak.


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