Thursday, 26 June 2008

Living up to the stereotype

Thank you for your well wishes - the funeral went better than I'd hoped it would. No one kicked off, and those who weren't welcome stayed away. Aside from that, it's always nice to be back in the place I spent 4 years at uni. Don't you just love returning to somewhere you know well and seeing that not much has changed?

Oh, to be charmed by the vision of a man lying on the pavement, one trainered shoe sticking through the railings, being guarded by two policemen with no real sense of urgency about them, wondering what to do next with the unconscious figure at their feet.

How reassured I was to fling open the curtains of my town centre hotel room and see the familiar sight of a tramp rifling through the bins, before contemplating some floor strewn chips for a mid afternoon snack.

"Thank god!" I sighed, when a car sporting an entirely pink interior and playboy bunny motifs...

parked up within spitting distance of the local sex shop....

...and out got a girl with hooped earrings the size of the humber bridge (ie. massive, for the non UKers).

"Phew!" I announced, as a rather dishevelled looking man wondered into the hotel lounge and requested 20p from my mother. "Everything is as it was!" I continued, "All we need now is for someone to try and nick your handbag at the wake!"

"Don't be so silly!" replied my mum.

But then, silly things have a habit of happening in Hull.


Paula said...

I'm laughing at the mental image of that girl's earrings!

James said...

Good old 'Ull.

Reluctant Blogger said...


nuttycow said...

Ah Hull. I *really* want to go there now!

Robbie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robbie said...

When I was living in Leeds there was a sex shop in the city centre that had a sign on the front saying "Other entrance in rear."
I was never sure if it was shopping or sex advice?

The one thing I do miss being in Spain is the lack of fake tans. Back home in Runcorn almost all girls between 11~31 are various shades of bright orange. It was great.

rosiewishes said...

Yet again you've reminded me how much I'll miss this god-forsaken place I call home when I leave in 6days (eek).

No more perma-tanned scousers? No more hookers at the bus stop? Nooo!

AFC 30K said...

That sounds familiar to my home town.

I spent time back there in Janary after 10 years away and apart from the massive new shopping mall in the city centre nothing had changed.

Happy days and wild nights :-)

London-Lass said...

Never been to Hull although your post has confirmed what I thought the place might be like. Although, having said that, a lot of places seem to be like the place you've posted. This country's gawn to the dawgs.

pawpads said...

And ~ speaking of those damn Playboy cars ~ why is it that as soon as you see a car with a Playboy Bunny anywhere about it ~ you just know that it's going to be driven by an absolute hoon?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

paula - huge. bigger than huge. seriously..

james - indeed. gotta love it.

reluctant - Yeeessss...?

nuttycow - i'm not doing it any favours, but it's actually alright. I spent 4 years there so it can't have been that bad!

robbie - hahaha...I love that. there's another sex shop in Hull which has a huge banana as their logo. always amuses me.

rosie - these uni towns have their little endearing quirks, don't they?

afc - presicely...although the nights are rather scarier than the days!

london lass - parts of hull are ok. it's just some of the locals. or should i say, 'lerr-cals' which make it less than desireable.

pawpads - a hoon with a massive clown necklace round their neck and more gold than you can shake a stick at. yeees.


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