Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Snack advice

I made a bit of a rookie error the other day on my choice of snacks for the week. It was too early for chocolate o'clock so I just wanted something I could nibble at...so I thought yeah I'll venture down the cereal aisle. All was going well and I spied a right corker on offer, and it even had what I thought was a guarantee of tasty oaty syruppy goodness. Observe:




Basically, I want my money back. It tastes like crap. Now I realise that "Love the taste or your money back" is just a ploy to sell things that look like lovely sweety sticky flapjacks but which are actually nasty bitter so bad I can't even eat the whole chunk before chucking them lumps of golden oaty ming-mong. And I would ask for my money back except I didn't pick up the receipt because I was using the self service machine in Tesco, which always makes me feel a bit flustered when there's people behind me so I generally try and run away after using it as soon as possible.

So yeah, instead I'm letting you all know not to buy these oaty snacks no matter what (empty) promises the packaging makes.

And in the interests of google: Kelloggs Nutri Grain Oat Baked Bars totally oaty taste like Amy Winehouse's armpits (horrendous) so don't buy them. Or if you do, keep your receipt.



Snack patrol over and out.

19 comments:

Lapa said...

Thank you, Jo. I Will not buy those snacks.

James said...

I bet I'd love 'em

Clarissa said...

OH! Last thing I want to put in my mouth are Amy's armpits! Thanks for the warning.

Homer said...

Really? I quite like the taste, but don't like the fact that rather than sustaining me for hours like you'd expect from an oat-based product, they leave me hypoglycaemically all-aquiver two hours after ingestion.

nat said...

Can't you just send back the package as proof of purchase? They know the RRP for there product.

Skinny Girl said...

Ha, thank god they dont sell that shit here in Aus. Although, there are some snacks I miss from the UK. The list is too long.
*sigh*

Rol said...

I'll have to take your word on what Amy's armpits taste like, but I'm sure that if you were to box them up (maybe with a half-eaten and even partially regurgitated bar as evidence of your distate) and send them off to Kelloggs Customer Service Dept, you'd get a refund that way.

Go on, if you can be bothered to chase up the MOS, you can give this a shot too.

(For the record, I used to quite like the Blueberry flavoured Nutrigrains, but then I realised that one bar contains about a third of my daily fat allowance, and as I could eat it in two-three bites, it just didn't fill me up.)

arbyn said...

I'm glad you added the horrendous bit to the Amy Winehouse armpit reference...

Otherwise I would've been really confused.

(Is it good tasting? Bad? Mediocre? I just don't know!)

weenie said...

Hmm...normally, I would try such bars but the Winohouse reference is too offputting!

Reluctant Blogger said...

Well, i rather like Amy Winehouse although I am perhaps not up for investigating her armpits at this stage in our relationship.

Urghh - those bars sound foul. What's wrong with a good old-fashioned banana? You really should not eat these processed snacks. Ooops - now I sound like your mother. Actually, perhaps I am? Perhaps your mother is more blogwise than you think and has had a blog under an alias all along????

James UK said...

Try eating Quaker brand Granola out of the box. (Sainsbury's have a buy two for £3 offer on it at the momement too)

It'll take you hours to chew through it, but it's a really good taste.

And I thought I was the only paranoid person when using Tesco's self-checkout! I'm waiting for the say when the RFID tags go mainstream (Marks and Spencers are using them a lot more now) and you'll simply be able to load up your bag, walk through a set of "paddles" / readers, and your shopping will be all totalled up, and then they'll debit your pre-stored credit card automatically.

Come on the future!

Boy said...

Seriously. How do you know what her pits taste like? Go on, I'm intrigued...

surviving myself said...

Amy is gonna be pissed that you let her secret out.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

lapa - good.

james - eeurrrghh, james likes armpits

clarissa - no problem, it's like my duty

homer - I expected them to be flapjacky and sweet, not all funny tasting. The box is under my desk, I can send them over if you want them.

Nat, probably, but then I'd have to reimburse myself for postage and packing. I can't be arsed in short.

skinny girl - you should write a wish list and stick it on your blog. I bet people would send you them.

rol - I don't think any of these things fill you up. My other favourite is a rice krispie bar, they're so yummy, but don't do anything to stave off the hunger.

arbyn - Amy Winehouse is just one of those people that you look at and think 'God, she must reek.'

weenie - don't bother, it's evil.

reluctant - my mum spends too much time wondering around B&Q buying flowers for the garden to write a blog on a weekend. I do like a good banana, too.

James UK - thanks for the snack tip, I'll try it and report back. As for the new scanning technique...it would mean that even people sneaking food out under their jackets would get caught and have to pay, yes? Sounds like a plan to me!

boy - Oh you can just tell. Anyone who can't put much more than a bra on is sure to have smelly pits. I bet she's only changed her pants once this year, too.

survivng - what, that she's been lending her smelly pits for taste testing at kelloggs?

China Blue said...

Grrr-eat tip, Jo. I never touch anything that has oats in it and isn't porridge (cereal and bars are just rabbit-hutch bottom and honey). I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Or are they choco krispies? Oh no there was a campaign to change it back, wasn't there...

Richard said...

totally oaty taste like Amy Winehouse's armpits

I'm unsure as to how you know this to be true, should we expect photos in the gutter press shortly of some mystery woman spotted licking the Whiners armpits on the streets of Camden after a boozy night out?

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Maybe I need to do a post next week that explains the thought process around this statement.
Richrd, an explanation is forthcoming. You'll see what I mean.

theperpetualspiral said...

I look forward to that explanation (the Richard post is me under my Gmail guise).

That'll teach me to multitask.

 

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