Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Ode to A Graduation

Excuse my moment of braggage yesterday...My excitement at getting to wear one of these again is just a little too much. Hours of standing around all gowned up, with a hat that is invariably either too big or too small for your head; wishing that you'd worn shoes that were less painful / sexier* (*delete as appropriate) than the ones you currently have on; with a raging hangover which is made worse by the knowledge that, according to your mother "you stink of booze" and in fact, speak of the devil, the 2 tequilas that seemed such a wise idea at 1:30am's last orders are still milling around in your stomach / throat waiting for appearance #2.

A bad idea is made worse seeing as your ceremony is at the unearthly hour of 10am, thus requiring a 8am start after a night that has barely ended, and you tell yourself "Never Ever Will I Let Those Who Have Graduated Already or Have Theirs in the Afternoon Convince Me To Go Out Drinking, Amen". Then 2 hours later people are congratulating you and you're congratulating yourself because you've managed not to fall over on the stage or throw up despite feeling increasingly murky-dismal...unlike the weather which, in the heat of July 2006, is soaring to temperatures only a hangover in a black gown would hate: but the rest is still to come.

Bundled in the car with a water bottle containing Superdrug's finest stomach settler and it's off to grandma's house for Proud Photos in Full Gownage, during which time you nip outside to "see the cat" and also to " secretly perform stealth removal of tequila from stomach"...then you're shepherded to your aunties house for more of the same (minus vomit) and then, finally, 8 hours later...you arrive back home. The bed beckons.Your parents depart - solace from the formality and the heat. "See you in a few hours for dinner" they say. "Urrrrrgh" is the only audible reply. Dinner with friends and family is an exercise in discerning the most plain thing on the menu and politely declining the glasses of celebratory wine being passed your way.

Graduation 2008 is approaching and I think I'll do it differently this time.



Alex said...

Wow. Simply wow. The line about stealth removal of tequila from your stomach? Amazing. My housemates think I'm weird for laughing so loudly at my PC.

Don't do it differently this time. The story won't be as good! I have my graduation to look forward to this summer. Eek

Bec said...

Now you're all Master-y, you should just hire four half naked eunuchs to carry you up to the stage while a marching band follows along behind?

Too much?

Girl Vino said...

Shit. That is making me feel ill about the impending girls night to which I will be attending next weekend. Followed by a kids birthday party the next day. I have of course told myself that it will be a mild night out and I will sensibly stick to one type of drink and will of course make it an early one. Yeah Right!

Reluctant Blogger said...

haha so funny and yes, so true. At least your ceremony will be in English I presume? When I went to mine it was all in Welsh - so just staying awake was as big a challenge as not throwing up.

So what do you plan for the real world? Writing?

AFC 30K said...

After the first garduation I couldn't be bothered to go to any more - I was three years before I got round to sending off for one degree cert....

Steph said...

Haaaaaaaaa! Sounds like a perfectly acceptable way to spend a day to me. :P

Perpetual said...

I can't see any reason why you should change your way of celebrating, aside from maybe having more tequila the night before!

Hannah said...

Awesome way to spend a day.

Or perhaps not...

Jo said...

Alex - glad you gained a laugh from my tale of woe!

bec - just slightly ;)

girl -It always begins like that, doesn't it? Such a good idea at the time.

reluctant - Yes, all in english...anything else would make the head spin even more I feel.

afc - fashionably late eh?

steph - acceptable when you don't have to get up on stage i front of hundreds of people, maybe!

perpetual... no, no, no and NO ...just say NO!

hannah - definetly not!


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