Tuesday, 10 July 2007

Product placement and other thoughts

Arrrrghhhh
I just waxed my own legs
All that bloody effort and pain it didn't even leave them smooth.
The lesson?
Veet / immac leg wax strips don't work.
You heard it here first.


Oh, I forgot. This happened on Saturday night:
Jo goes to Sainsburys, surveys the wine section and picks up a £3.49 bottle of rose wine (no expense spared).
She takes it to the till, smiles at the cashier and says "Hi".
Cashier responds with a smile and says "Can I ask how old you are?"
Jo thinks for a second and flustered, tries to remember her age.
"Oh right, yes I'm twenty one"
No you're not, dip shit, you're twenty two. Quick - correct yourself.

"Haha, sorry, I mean twenty two."
Cashier looks at me as if large hairs have just sprouted from my upper lip. "Can I see some I.D?"
Jo fumbles in wallet, produces her driving license and after making suitable jokes about the flattering side of being ID'd, etc etc, the transaction is completed.

Thank god I don't smoke.

I feel

as if I should have some sort of pseudonym (which I didn't even need the spell checker for) to refer to my boyfriend on the blog. I noticed everyone else has a name for theirs. Maybe I'll confer with him at the weekend and see if he can think of one. (note to him: 'guns' or 'muscle man' suggestions need not apply)

Hypocrisy
comes in the shape of Live Earth: a rock concert aimed at raising awareness for climate change. Note: the key here is 'raising awareness', not actually doing something about it. In fact, why not contribute to it by flying in celebrities and stars from all over the country / world on those hugely economical carbon reducing aeroplanes, or drive them there in their eco-friendly SUVs and limos? Those energy conserving stars can surely take a day out from their extensive work schedules in the fields in and around their modest houses and villas where they manufacture wind farms to power their lighting and power. Oh but they can't perform in the dark, Al! Better shove thousands of watts of electricity into producing lights and sound for the whole thing too, make it bright and make it loud! We want people to see this thing! If they're going to hear the message it'll have to be audible! Now do the same thing in a few other cities too - sorted. Remember to turn your lights off, world!


12 comments:

Bec said...

Live Earth was ridiculous. I did my bit for the planet by switching off the hypocritical nonsense after about 10 minutes.

Getting ID'd? Fantastic. Mind you I wrote on a form that I was 28 the other day... my date of birth was on there too and the person checking said form looked at me like I was a complete spoon.

Miss Understood said...

No expense spared indeed! You can get a litre and a half for that price :)

I wonder who it was who sat down one day and said "I wonder what'll happen if I put hot wax on my skin and rip it off?" People think the strangest things...

the boy who likes to... said...

You could be right. One way for stars to help with climate change is by doing absolutely nothing. I think most of the publicity was from how much of a waste Live Earth was.

PS Big Guns is a great pseudonym (I dont have to spell check either....I just copy and paste your spelling)

James said...

Thanks for the advice on the leg wax. The first time I ever got asked for ID was on my 18th birthday which was quite amusing given how many times I bought alcohol previous to that.

gerl86 said...

I didn't even bother watching Live Earth.hahaha!

anyway,I thought was alone in this world with tt irritation of sniffing...haha, and just like u, it's okay if I do it. but then it affects my life to a great extent...like im afraid to go out and all because I fear people will sniff...does it happen to u too?
how do ya deal with it?

Venting said...

I always pay a professional to wax my legs and erm.. bits. Why do it yourself???

China Blue said...

Noooo! Wax strips are the work of the devil. I agree with venting. Why have a dog, and bark yourself?

Desiree said...

Ow. No waxing for me... shaving is easier.

London-Lass said...

Coo eck. I'm long past the days of being asked for my ID when I go out. Now all I get is "Yes madam ...?" or "Can I help you madam ...?". Raaar.

Venting said...

Also, I got asked for my ID yesterday, and I am almost 27. Crazy.

Hannah said...

No, no, no. The strips don't work. Get a pot of professional strength hot wax: that does work. It also doesn't come off the kitchen floor...

lorna said...

holy god waxing is hell (either way you do it, salon or no). I think the one time i tried it my legs hurt so damn badly that it wouldn't have mattered if someone had wanted to touch them because i probably would have screamed. poor bruised legs with now waxy and stubby hairs.

 

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