Tuesday, 3 July 2007

Ohhhh, hedgehog-balls.

There has been a death.

My lovely, beautiful, perfectly formed, mini sized, machine of musical wonder and delight has departed and gone to the big Apple Product graveyard in the sky at the ripe old age of 2 and a half. It hadn't been well for some time now and was becoming more and more reliant on life saving treatments such as the in-car charger since it's ability to work for more than an hour at a time was becoming a struggle.

Enough of the I'm-trying-to-be-clever descriptive blog detail. Doesn't it do your head in when people do that? I can do metaphor too, you smart arses. The damn iPod's fucked and while at first I thought 'wicked, new iPod time...' I then remembered that I only have a hard copy of half of the music out of the 1,600 songs that were on it. Massive, huge, bat droppings. Gargantuan, stinking, turtle crap. And even if I got a new one it'd have to be a nano or a big one and my iTrip for mini iPod wouldn't work. Fuck shit bollocks. And don't leave comments about how iPods are shit and the battery life is shit I KNOW but they're cool ok...and iPods are like children, you always hope yours are going to be different, don't you?

I've lost DJ EZ and PSG at Exposure in 1999.
I've lost DJ EZ and Viper on Kiss FM in 2000.
I've lost DJ Kenny Ken and Stevie Hyper D at Telepathy in 199-something.
I've lost rather a lot of terribly uncool albums that I don't own but quite like to listen to, in secret.
Bloc Party - Silent Alarm gone. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication and Stadium Arcadium, gone. Loads of old wonderful songs that I thought of and downloaded while I remembered them. This pretty cool 12min mix of old RnB songs that I actually liked. Arrrrgh...Sting and the Police are no longer. Ready or Not, the DnB version by Aphrodite: the sound of my teens. Yes I can probably download them...sure, just give me a spare MONTH and I'll be reunited. Fuckshitbollocksface.

And do you know what the worst thing is apart from all that?

Today I was walking to uni and I noticed this boring bastard from the English department whose a proper weird PHD student and talks, nay, rants about nothing but literaturey things, walking behind me on route. As I got to the traffic lights I was like "Oh please let the green man be flashing so I can nip across and don't have to stand there next to him / possibly enter into conversation for the remaining 5 minute walk into uni...please..." and if I'd had my iPod I wouldn't have even worried, I'd just stand there because everyone knows if you've got wires hanging out your ears then you'd rather listen to music than HRH Boring Bastard of Boringford making small talk. But in the absense of my ipod I did something I'm very ashamed of, worse than crossing the road anyway in front of cars and trucks.

I got my phone out.


realising that feigning an incoming text message / response may not be enough...

I rang...

....my voicemail.

OH COME ON...we've all done it....at least I didn't enter into conversation with the voicemail although I may have uttered a 'tut' in mock 'oh they didn't pick up' thoughtfulness just as the green man came on and I could hang up and cross.

Haha, while I'm confessing - once I was bored of the person I was talking to on the phone and they wouldn't shut up, so I made a beeping noise and went 'Oh, sorry, my batteries going...beep...I've got to...beep...' and hung up.

Who wants to be Jo's friend? Or better still, someone Jo knows but can't be bothered to talk to unless absolutely necessary? Form an orderly queue, people.


Miss Understood said...

I phone my imaginary friends all the time. Not because I'm trying to escape anyone...just because I'm odd.

London-Lass said...

I've never owned an IPod (nor pretend to know anything about them .. but then I am very crotchety and old) although my mobile died on me the other day and although non-organic and not exactly cute-looking, it did pluck at my heart strings when it coughed and pegged out on me in mid-call.

the boy who likes to... said...

I've done the whole phone voicemail thing loads of times. Not just to avoid people I know, but mostly to avoid all the charity people in streets asking for money. I hate confrontation.

Plus with names like DJ EZ, it might be best your ipod broke ;) haha

Bec said...

Get a (Red) iPod Nano and then you can have the good feeling of donating money! And it's sooooo pretty.

Yep, I've done the calling imaginary friends thing too in the avoiding people way... can't remember what I did beforehand...

James said...

aaagh not a dead iPod that must be a nightmare.

Still I think you should have spoke to the guy at the traffic lights, it might of been the start of a beautiful relationship.

Jo said...

miss understood - your honesty is appreciated. I talk to people who I think are standing next to me when infact they walked off 5 mins ago. Oops.

londonlass- I've got tears in my eyes, I hope you gave it a good sending off

the boy - Arrghh I do that too, those damn happy people with clipboards 'SORREEE! on PHONE!' and leave EZ alone...it was a period in my life I'm quite nostalgic about :D

Bec - Ooh, charity and something new...hmmm now there's an idea

James - It IS a nightmare, a modern day, 21st century, technological nightmare. Much like when your computer breaks - world ends etc. As for the beautiful relationship, one is enough for me thanks :D


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