Monday, 7 May 2007

10 Factual (British) Certainties

  1. All British people will a) call someone from Newcastle 'Geordie', b) will know or will have met someone on holiday called Geordie.

  2. Those with a tan in Britain are either a) partial to sunbeds, b) using fake tan or c) foreign.

  3. Lianne Dauban from Shipwrecked will cry in every single episode without fail.

  4. There will always be someone on the London Underground wearing sunglasses, regardless of weather or time of year.
  5. Anything above 20 degrees is a heatwave.

  6. In a "heatwave", it is compulsary that a) tatooed, beer bellied men must walk around topless, b) girls must wear as little as possible and c) an obligitory barbeque must be arranged where no one is allowed inside despite the fact it's freezing.

  7. Those in Britain with convertable sports cars will, at some stage, be heckled with a shout of 'WANKER' while driving with the top down.

  8. On a trip to the shops in a British town or village, you will definitely make / hear a passing comment about the weather.

  9. British people will always complain that such weather is either a) too cold, b) too hot...

  10. ....before booking a holiday to Spain in the hottest month of the year.

That is all.

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