Thursday, 8 February 2007

Things That Annoy Me, Part II

Brandon Davis. You can see the video of this hairy American primate embarrassing himself in front of the worlds paparazzi here. I came across this hideous specimen while browsing YouTube and have never labelled someone a complete arsehole so quickly. In the background you may notice the (lucky) object of his affections, Paris Hilton, who appears to be picking her nose in this picture and whose 'enemy', Lindsay Lohan (equally as disease ridden) is the subject of Davis's thought-vomit. These people should not be given a mouth, let alone a microphone or money for their cretinous opinions.

Equally as irritating for a mere passer by of such events like myself are the people who leave comments on such absolute donkey turd videos. I would like to personally thank yuyulgiler for her insight into the whole situation:

omg,that's soo bad...sure lindsay has done bad to her image and tons of mistakes but still,she's a human. and paris laughed?i thought lindsay and paris are friends? gosh...

Gosh indeed. Tons of mistakes...maybe. But human? Ummm... Not to worry though, Lindsay Lohan's best friend, dragon2heart is out to save any hard feelings with this little gem of support:

hate them! would he ever come close Lindsay, so wath do he know about her? LOSER!Linsay are actually doing something with her life, but what does paris do??? nothing! live on her dads money? i cant call that a life!and that stupid millionaire, he wants to be famous thats all! he wants the newspaper to write about him. thats rellt desperate.Love you lindsay! you allways got all my suport! <3

Oh shucks, guys. I'm sure these celebrities, with all their intelligence of a rotting mushroom will definitely return the sentiments as soon as they've finished holidaying on a yacht inside their own rectal passages. Just don't hold your breath.

Next up on the list is Tenacious D. No doubt they were hilariously innovative and original with their piss take of rock music when they started. But for some reason their music just irritates the hell out of me and whenever I hear it, I just want to destroy the speakers from whence they came. Perhaps its that they're just not my cuppa' tea. Or maybe Jack Black, who has always annoyed me in films, is just ten times worse when given a microphone and a stage to spout his self indulgent rubbish. Even more irritating are the fans who know every word to the songs, including the skits inbetween, and recite them incessently to eachother with or without the music. It's like a secret Jack Black club that my taste in music won't let me into and I don't care if I'm the only person in the world who doesn't have a membership card for the club. 'Urrr you just don't get it, it's sooooo funny! The D are legendary!' It's ok - I get the joke. I just don't think the punchline warrants the laughs.

Lastly for today is Victoria Hislop's The Island (If you intend on reading it I'd skip this rant).This book has so much potential that it annoys me that I have to put it in a list like this. A disease such as leprosy has endured enough beatings over the years without putting it alongside a story in which the characters are as complex as a 2 year old's homework...altogether now: Maria? GOOD! :) Anna? BADDD :( Seriously; the bits that take place on the island itself are worth a read and the attention to historical detail is immense and emotively interesting. But please tell me why one of the main characters is killed off in the space of about 2 sentences (Georgiou), how Sofia has absolutely no idea that the person she has called 'Aunt Maria' since she was 3 is not actually her real mother and how, within the space of under a page, a whole leper colony is cured, remained symptom free for a year and then evacuated from the island...Such a shame the ending is so hurried given the pace of the rest of the book.

Also today - I am not loving the house-whore cat (name tag on left - yes it does say 'I've Farted') who turns up outside my abode every day feigning love and attention, only to wonder round the kitchen a few times in the hope of something edible to fall his way. When it doesn't, and this is the upsetting part, he leaves without so much as a goodbye and it hurts sometimes. If he's your cat, some manners wouldn't go amiss.

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