Tuesday, 23 January 2007

Jade who? Big What? Shilpa Where?

If I hear the words 'Goody' 'Shetty' and 'racist' in the same sentence again today, I am getting in my car and following the signs to 'Secret Underground Bunker' in the little known village of Withernsea and hibernating. Fact.

That's not to say that the media storm over last weeks events hasn't interested me - it has (not to the point of buying Heat or, god forbid, The Sun for the full 10 page roundup though).

My interest in the situation is not to join the legions of people creating low-brow-anti-Jade articles, headlines, websites, blogs and facebook groups. The media highlighted and got over the fact that her face resembles a pug dog when she became famous for being the most stupid person to grace the Big Brother cameras and - lets be honest - for that title she faced some hard competition. Nor to I now want to condemn her for her long-known ignorance on subjects from British geography to, well, near enough anything, or her acheivement for being the first person to top the 'Most Infl-ent-ial People List' who doesn't actually know what the word 'influential' means or sounds like. I'm bored of it. It's too easy to point out the obvious. Big Brother has never been, and will never be the in depth social experiment its roots were grounded in.

Why on earth people were surprised to hear the ignorant ravings on air last week I'll never know - it isn't anything you wouldn't hear being yelled across a shopping centre in Hull on a daily basis, I can tell you (Bluewater not so much...they banned the hoody wearing lower classes, didn't they?). She's ignorant to everything - thats why she's famous, that's why she was put back in the house this time round. What concerns me is why Channel 4 can't see the massive sign painted on their head - Big Brother is On Its Last Legs.

The people are predictable - the token gay man, the transvestite, the 'fit' girl vs. the 'beautiful' girl, the unlikely hot-geek bloke and the lad's lad. The arguments are predictable -'fit' girl and 'beautiful' girl vying for the attention of the same man. Who hid the food. Who is stealing chocolate rations. Why are you bitchin about me forrrrr? Its always the same. Moreover, when will they learn that 'celebrity' (and I use the word lightly) does not equate to 'worthy viewing'? What were the 30,000 people who complained about Big Brother last week actually expecting? Nothing exciting happens in Big Brother unless people are angry and upset, mix in the fact that the instigator of it all has the articulation of a parrot and you have the obvious waiting to happen.

There is one other sure thing about Big Brother, aside from the attention-whore status of the contestants. It's evident that the most intelligent people to wind up on Big Brother are the ones who exit the house via the garden wall in the first week and fade back into the obscurity from whence they came.

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