Monday, 14 July 2008

SPOTTED - absolutely sod all

I'm continually frustrated at living in London, scanning the "spotted" pages of Heat magazine and discovering that celebrities wonder the same streets that I do, only on different days. Someone out there must see them. For example...the boyfriend saw none other than Uma Thurman on the Kings Road the other day, when only a day before I was wondering around Sloane Square, home of the rich and famous, and all I saw was the disabled bloke with the dreads who used to do the spinning wheelchair basketball stuff in between BBC1 programmes.

I mean come on, Kings Road, Sloane Square, St Johns Wood, Notting Hill, according to the mags they're always bloody round there. Like I went to Camden the other week and didn't see squat of Amy Winehouse and her manky bra. Even working at the Broadcasting company for four months acheived only Konnie Huq, James May and Jeremy Vine. And he's off radio, so it doesn't really count because he had to say "Hello, this is Jeremy Vine - where's my cab?" into his phone before I realised it was him.

An example of my sort of celeb spotting is when I saw whatsit from Birds of a Feather in Islington Sainsburys on Saturday. Not the fat one or the flamboyant, Jewish one, the other one. Her name evaded me until I did a bit of internet research. ie. wikipedia-ed her.

"Look! There's whatsit from Birds of a Feather!" I said to the boyfriend, pointing as she made her way to the tobacconist counter. He acknowledged my spot with an impressed Ahh yeah.

"What's her name again? Pauline something? Quirke? Or was that the fat one?"
"Dunno." he says, lining up to buy his new toothbrush in the worlds longest supermarket queue.
"Chase her! Chase her! Quick!"
"You chase her, go look at the DVDs, and I'll pay for this."
"Ok!" and I scoot off to see if Juno has gone into the reduced pile yet."Nope. Still £13.99" I say, returning from the hunt. We pay and leave.
"Ooh look! She's still there, she's still there! We beat her! We won! What was her name again?"
"Doreen?"
"No that's the Jewish one. Cor, this is going to annoy me." and I catch a last glimpse while I desperately try and remember the name of the actress, and anything she's been in since 1990.


Google tells me it's Linda Robson, and not an awful lot.

8 comments:

theperpetualspiral said...

I didn't spot anyone famous today either :(

Rol said...

I once bumped into Christopher Ecclestone at the West Yorkshire Playhouse (he wasn't appearing there at the time). Later I went to the loos and heard him in the next stall having a heated conversation with his (I presume) manager.

Longest time I've ever spent on the loo.

Hannah said...

You'd be in danger of being on the end of GBH if did actually run into Amy Wino...

surviving myself said...

I think you should be glad you didn't see Amy W, you'd probably have nightmares for months afterwards.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

perpetual - it's a sad, sad world we live in.

rol - haha, exactly what I would have done. At the wrap party of my last job I went in while the presenter was in the loos as well,not on purpose i'm no stalker, but instead of gossip all i heard was her drunken smashing of her glass on the floor before stumbling out thinking no one had heard. i heard. i heard.

hannah - plus i'd probably pass out from the smell. I'm sure there are dead things in that beehive...

surviving - nightmares and a nasty fist - to - skin disease, allegedly...probably...maybe.

Robbie said...

A few years ago I had to go to London to do some work at the main office of the company I worked for.
I took the opportunity to do some touristy type photographing as it was my first time in London.
I was walking down Piccadilly (I think) talking with a colleague about how I was annoyed I hadn;t spotted anyone famous, at that moment Matt Lucas walked past and I instictively said "oh look there's Matt Lucas"
I think you just have to really wish that a celeb walks past and they will. That's the only way celebs exsist, is if we make them

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Robbie, Im going to try that

"Oh, you know what...I haven't seen Brad Pitt in ages. He's always on the news with his new babies n all, but when do I ever see him IN MY HOUSE"

Reckon?

China Blue said...

Welcome back - I'm busy catching up with your exploits! The last sleb I spotted was the fat one off Eastenders who was Minty's girlfriend or summat. Oh, and Rory Bremner, and a freakishly tall Darcey Bussell - all on King's Road. To be honest, Soho is better.

 

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