Thursday, 5 June 2008


I got an email today. It had "fw" in the subject line which is always a good indication that it will contain some form of half witted snivel that has been passed around more times than chlamydia in freshers week...but I opened it anyway. Just in case.

Predictably, as with most e-mails sent around in this manner, I'd seen the contents a few years back when I had dutifully chuckled to myself behind my computer. So on receiving it a second, third or forth time round, well Sherlock, the novelty does somewhat dissipate. (Much like those 'clever' graphs and pie charts doing the rounds a few weeks ago stating the percentage of how much an 80s pop star will 'never give you up' or 'let you down'...funny for about 3 seconds the first time). Chances are, if you've been passed an email with a variation of fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: oh my god this is soooo funny in the subject line, you can bet your bum bum that the fw's represent the years that email has been doing the rounds and that it will definitely not be soooo funny. Elementary, my dear Watson.

Anyway, this particular email was headed:

...note the tell tale signs that this e-mail will contain 100kb chunks of horse manure; multiple fw:'s, misspelling of 'ladies' and overexcitement on the exclamation mark front (urgh, I hate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! overuse of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one!!! will!!! suffice!!!)

ANYWAY (again, I'll get to my point eventually) it had attached to it several photos of cars which had been royally done over by the aforementioned Angry, Angry Laydees!!!!! who had been wronged by their (now ex, I assume) partners. In true round robin fashion, the pictures featured the one you've seen before

and the one that's probably been photoshopped (someone always has to take the idea too far)

Apart from making me wonder why my sister continually sends these emails on, including the ones which don't even have anything mildly amusing in them except the promise that if you send this email on to 7 people, something sooooo funny will happen! i promise!!!!! (there's those exclamation marks again), it did remind me of something.

But I thought before I blog about that, I have got to get the whole office junk mail sloppy seconds thing over with because I get these things every day, yet I stopped sending them on myself circa 1998 (after realising that for every email you don't forward, a tree grows in Hampstead Heath, fact, I'm all for saving the environment).

So please, office workers: before you hit 'forward' and add your own fw: stamp to the subject line, think of the recipients. And unless you really really hate them for crimes against inboxes, don't do it.



James said...

I agree whole heartedly, although I do send the ones which say 'send to at least 7 people or you'll have crap sex for the rest of your life'... I just don't want to take the chance. :)

The over use of exclamation marks infuriates me to, although not as much as multiple question marks. That really ticks me off. How about you??????? (you must answer this really quickly, because it is ultra ultra urgent as displayed by the 7 question marks)

theperpetualspiral said...

Perversely I love getting these emails from the 'uninitiated', little do they know what they have let themselves in for.

I take the 'you must send this to 25 people in the next hour or your legs will drop off' very seriously, so go about sending the very same email back to the sender however many times I am told to do so.

Usually they only do it once and then learn their lesson. :D

Life As I Know It said...

I don't even open up the fwd's anymore. What really puzzles me is the amount of people out there who really believe that by forwarding to 7 people they will have good luck for 7 years...

surviving myself said...

That car! oh my god that fucking poor man.

Clarissa said...

my cute pink will die in 10 days if you don't forward this on to 10 friends!

Reluctant Blogger said...

Well I felt all virtuous when I thought about the forwarding things - cos I never open them and never forward. How thick can people be?

But then - well, I am the worst overuser of exclamation marks. I know I do it, I know it is irritating, but I just can't bloody help myself!!!! Ooops there I go again. That's the other thing I do too - put too many "o"s in ooops and ooooh.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I don't approve of what that woman did. If you've been wronged by a man there's no need to take it out on his sex toy. A female gorilla would have left teeth marks in his arse.


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