Friday, 25 April 2008

If you're not going to exeed the speed limit, at least make it in the first place.

I have about a 10 minute drive to the station every morning before work. It's a drive that should take maybe 5-7 minutes, but that extra time is added on not by the volume of traffic (I leave the house about 9.20 thus missing the rush hour bulk) but by the person who, every morning without fail, pulls out in front of me and proceeds to drive at around 25mph. It's an annoying speed; not quite slow enough to get fully enraged about and start over taking and beeping and flashing lights, but not fast enough to actually get anywhere at the speed you were meant to.
 
Of course it's not the same person every day, that would be weird (although not impossible - I do see the same woman every morning who drives a car which is the same make as mine, with an almost identical registration number. I always want to like wave at her or something and start a morning routine of mutual car acknowledgement but having tested the water with a manic grin in her direction, I don't think she's keen to play). Anyway there's always someone who dawdles along at sloth mph, they are nearly always over 60 and they are never in a hurry. In fact, I doubt they even have a destination in mind - probably just going for a drive in order to pass the time, "Oh Gerald, I'm so bored of soaking my bunions, can we do that lovely B road in a bit?".
 
Commmmee onnnn....I'm not being unreasonable, I don't want to speed along causing accidents n that, knocking over hedgehogs and stray dogs and those pheasants you always see at the side of the road (I've never seen one be hit, but they're always there - do they actually get run over or is that just where they send the elderly ones to die?) ...I just want to at least go at the speed limit! Maybe 2mph over if you're feeling frisky, come on - take a chance!
 
Don't even mention getting stuck behind learner drivers - there's millions of the little gits aping around the quiet residential roads near me, dawn til dusk sitting there; mouth wide open in concentration, diagonally across the road midway through a 10 point turn. And yes, I have forgotten what it's like to be a learner driver - why do people always say that to you when you complain about being stuck behind learners? "Oooh yoouuu used to be a learner once, don't you remember what it's like?" No I bloody don't, as far as I'm concerned it never happened, who'd want to remember a time when you pissed off everyone within a mile of your car every time you got in it?
 
So please - elderly, learners and generally slow people of the road, stop dribbling along - lets up our game, let's say hello to 30mph and there'll be fun times for all.

8 comments:

handlewithcare said...

My life consists of avoiding those f*cking stupid pheasants who wait, patiently, at the side of my little country lanes until I'm right next to them, at which point they bolt out into the road (I'm sure screaming "Kamikaze" in Pheasant), forcing me to leap on the brakes because, much as I may be a cynical person, the most traumatic thing I've ever done with my car is flatten a bunny and I still can't bring myself to flatten yet more wildlife, despite the evolutionary aberration that are pheasants.

I feel your pain on the speed limit front, in my part of the world, the local council(s) have recently gone on a binge and changed a load of speed limits from 60 to 50, with the side-effect of inducing the old codgers into doing 40 which, for a road that was fine at 60, is mind-numbing.

James said...

There is only one thing for it... You need to get yourself a helicopter.

nuttycow said...

Pheasants or peasants.

I tend not to discriminate and just run both over ;)

arbyn said...

When I was a nanny in the midlands I saw my fair share of pheasants get hit. One time it was when I was driving all three kids to the country club. They were so traumatized (I didn't hit it -- an oncoming vehicle did) I, in desperation, made up a song about the life and death of a pheasant. It seemed to distract them from the actual death...

It should've been a hit (pun?), imo. Move over Leona!

Homer said...

I hit a hen pheasant last week. Couldn't have cared less, but Xbox was a bit upset, being vegetarian and all.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I always drive on the limit - not over because I would feel so guilty if I mowed someone down if I were speeding. Well, I drive over the limit on motorways cos only drivers are there.

But I am very very careful in residential areas. There is a real "car is king" culture these days and I feel very strongly it should not be that way, that children should be able to play out on the street. And the statistics speak for themselves - children are rarely killed if motorists drive at 20 mph.

Clarissa said...

Or make 'em walk.

London-Lass said...

Round my way folk get `locked in' at 40 and it doesnt seem to matter what the limit is (30 or 60) they'll drive at that speed. FOREVER.

 

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