Wednesday, 16 April 2008

Hate mail

I hate Microsoft outlook. Yeah, that's right, the e-mail programme. That nifty little office staple that is nearly always at the root of a bad day.

You click send and it's gone. No thinking time, no arsing about, no 30 seconds in the outbox - bish, bash, bosh and ding dong, it's arrived at the recipients mailbox. Then Outlook has to announce everything. You want a receipt when mail's been read? Wait there, let me just check with the person you're sending it to. Sent the wrong thing? You can 'recall' the message - but can you do it quietly? Not likely. Outlook, the dirty snitch, has to let the person that you've sent the wrong message to know that they weren't supposed to see it, thus defeating the object of trying to get away with the mistake. It it gives them the choice as to whether it's recalled or not. Well hang on a minute, I sent it - so I want the message back and I want it done quietly with no unnecessary embarrassment. Just delete it, Outlook! You don't have to tell them it's going! Just let it disappear for gods sake! They'll never know!

Outlook is also a hoarder of epic proportions. It heaps everything in together so that the big bulk emails get slotted next to the important priority stuff, and it builds, and builds, and builds, until one day off = 50 new messages, and only 2 of those are actually directed at you, maybe 4 are of importance and the rest are all just crap. And the crap's sent because Outlook makes it easy to send crap. It's a crap engine, churning out crap like a big, crap 9-5 office job.

And meetings...oh god, the meetings. One PA here sends everything via meeting requests, she sends it to my boss & me, then me again, until I have 5 invites for the same meeting, which is then promptly reorganised when someone can't make it...then it's updated, then someone else can't make it so she updates it again...and it doesn't go into a separate meetings folder! Oh no, it piles on into your inbox with all the other crap, even when you delete the crap it goes into a crap deleted items folder which is useless because you still have to delete the crap again from there anyway.

Alright guessed it. Yesterday I did the classic office h'oopsy daisy! trigger happy on 'send' malarkey. The boss had sent me an email asking me to ring this other PA, poor woman, I've already told her twice I can't make this meeting but she's scheduled it in anyway and other grievances. I click reply. To get the PA's phone extension, I put her in the CC box so I could double click it and get her info up. Get me so far? I then spoke to the PA, tapped out a reply to my boss and clicked send. Bish, bash, bosh, fook. 10 minutes later, voicemail's 'a' flashing. Boss has left a message with a very firm warning about checking who I CC into emails. I'd only gone and copied in the PA with my reply AND the message my boss had sent in the first place, complete with mild insult, no doubt causing rather alot of embarrassment. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

I hate Outlook. It should come with warnings, previews and Are you sure you want to send this? No, really sure? Positive? To that person, that person and that person? Yes? pop ups. It should slow down and stop showing off, trying to be all quick and clever and predictive, because quite frankly, some of us can't keep up.


London-Lass said...


If, say, Outlook did come with loads of "Are you sure you wanna ...?" notices and signs throughout the setting up of an e-mail process, then we'd all be moaning and whinging on about how ruddy long it took to get an e-mail done.

What you really need to do is massively age yourself to about ... oo ... my age, when your reflexes are more or less shot and owning a trigger happy finger is a sweet but distant memory.

nuttycow said...

Arg, poor Jo.

My worst one is when I press control and enter by mistake when I only wanted to press enter. Ping. Off goes the email half finished. Dammit!

Clarissa said...

Better than that irritatingly smarmy 'You've got mail!' ping from old AOL. (no?)

nat said...

Oh dear. I have done the same thing with text messages. Sending them to the wrong person. Well the person who I was writing about. Ha ha. Embarassing much!!

I have also done similar things at work before too. I think everyone has shit days like that. Plus it is a microsoft product so really what do you expect? You can't have high expectations.

surviving myself said...

that was an excellent rant.

I am giving you applause, but you can't hear it.

You know, cause i'm in NY and all. But trust me, I am clapping.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

londonlass - Oh no doubt I'd whinge even more if it was slow and took an age to do everything. But at least my boss would still like me that way ;)

nutty- bloody hell. You've educated me on that one, I'm going to be super careful.

clarissa - AAGGHHHH so true. Ok, I hate that too. Email should be seen and not heard.

nat - Texts are awful for that, mostly because you're often thinking about the person you're writing about, not who you're sending it to. Leads to disaster.

surviving - Thanks, I'd like to say I can hear the applause, but then I'd be lying. And Im not a liar. Just an occasional hypocrite.

Ann (MobayDP) said...

I can sooooo relate and have wondered several times why some brilliant minded person has not yet created something that would allow me to delete my mistake before the other person could receive it. LOL!

But then think about it. You couldn't very well delete the "snail mail" once it went in the post, now could you?

@ nat - I have done the same thing - embarassing much indeed. LOL.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Ann - that is very true. You can however have fun trying to stick your arm in the post box to retrieve it.

theperpetualspiral said...

When I get an email that really winds me up (which happens often), I try to wait at least 10 minutes before I reply. That way some of the venom of my response gets diluted!

Many years ago I sent an email to a girl who worked for me, complaining about the way in which the rest of my staff were moaning about something. I accidentally had hit 'reply all' and so sent the email to all five of them. :)

Skinny Girl said...

I totally agree. The same rule should apply to texts. I have never made this mistake myself, but my best mate did when texting me, slagging her other best mate off. She sent the text to that mate instead of me. She only has one best mate now. Me.


Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

perpetual - ahaha that's awkward. The waiting before replying idea is one I often use myself. I usually end up marching over and giving a response to their face. Always seems more polite than an email.

skinny girl - that's textbook stuff! and so easily done!

Edward said...

nuttycow - you can disable the CTRL+ENTER = SEND - take a look on Usenet. There's a support group for Outlook sufferers who will help you out.


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