Monday, 10 March 2008

Fashion Abstinence

You know my feelings on these things, I whinged about them enough when the weather was hawttt and I couldn't bare to think of sweaty feet residing in them around supermarkets. That's right, Ugg boot wearers - I'm talking about you. You and your sweaty sheep feet. "Oooh, ooh, yer, but, no but, yer but, no but...they're made of h'actual sheep balls so you don't get sweaty and they keep your feet at the same temperature. It says so on the label!!!". Bollocks. Big, shiny woolly bollocks. "Ooh, but it's winter and they're so comfy I just can't bare to take them off, and they're so warm, mmmmmm..." and they look so good with your tracksuit bottoms tucked into them. No, really, they do. Full on celebrity stylish hell-yizzle, right in the face.

So you wear them and wear them and wear them and wear them with leggings and tracksuits and woo everyone else is too...and hey, has anyone been to Oxford lately? Coz I was there a few weeks ago and first thing I said when I got out the car was "Ohhhhh. Shit...Hoff. You know what? You forgot something." and she was all what? " forgot your Ugg boots. We better go home." and she looked around and saw it was the truth. We did not fit in. We abstained from the Ugg and lord did we pay the price. Luckily I found a Jack Wills store and bought a polo pony, so we didn't get lynched. Anyway.

And you bought so many pairs that England sold out! Schuh tells its customers that America bought them all up, we can't get any deliveries anywhere so every ones panicking a bit, what will they wear to the party? I want to look like I'm cool and like I've just got out of bed...and my tousled, backcombed hair just won't do you buy the cheap imitation Ugg boots. Like Roy Walker told ya...It's good, but it's not the one.

Even if you did get the real deal and imported them from taiwan Australia, it doesn't matter because in a few months they'll still look rabbish...why? Whyyyy? Why Jo, why the rant? Because I can not be doing with walking around this country and seeing people wearing these boots to death. And not just fashion death, to actual death, as in people - listen - when you are no longer walking on the soles of your boots and you are walking on the sides of's time to step away.

I don't care if they've got Ugg, Bugg or Mugg on the back, after one too many wears, this is what happens.

Kids, it's true what they say,

Say NO to Uggs.


Winter said...


Miss Understood said...

I found mine the other day, about a mile and a half out of reach in my wardrobe. And that is where they shall stay. The thought of you lurking behind me with a camera is more than enough to keep them there!

Robbie said...

Theyre not really that bad Josephine.

The only thing that annoys me about them - and which is also highlighted in your photo, is they keep seeming to slide off peoples feet. That looks a tad uncomfortable and annoying.

pinkjellybaby said...

My slippers do that, it's very annoying

Shameless said...

I always though they should be called uggghh boots. Seriously, ugg boots and shorts? What the hell is the point in that? Clearly I'm no fashionista.

Boy said...

Grrrness. Stupid Ugg boots. Right on sister!

So glad I'm male. As far as I'm aware we don't have fashion trends. We just have skinny jeans and stripey tops. Alas, I have tree trunk legs and cannot wear skinny jeans, so I'm doomed to be fashionless forever.

London-Lass said...

Jo you talk so much sense what would we do without you.

I've always wondered why would you want to wear a pair of boots that are not only hideous to look at but have been given a name that sound like the word `ugly' too. And talk about impractical - tramp up and down Oxford Street a coupla times (particularly in this weather) and your Ugg boots will look even Ugg-lier. I swear clothing companies are having a laugh seeing what they can get us wear next.

PS : Unfortunately I am not quite as adept/quick at catching fashion monstrosities on my mobile ... but can I just ask what is it with wearing boots that look like garden wellies cept with heels? Girl in front of me at Bond St West One Shopping Centre was smartly dressed in colour co-ordinated dark business wear with dark tights but wearing a pair of bright red `wellie boots' with a thick white sole and white heel. Bleurgh.

Rachel said...

Iv got a pink pair, but they are slippers! lol.

Resent the comment about Oxford, we're not all like that, just the few lah di dah idiots. Some of us are normal and know how to use a hair brush!

surviving myself said...

hahaha - love a good rant. Also, that girl needs some help with how to walk right.

Hannah said...

Urgh. Uggs are up there with furry gilets in the Hall of Fashion Faux Pas.

Ella said...

Aaah good old Oxford, I too got sucked into the hair extensions and excessive backcombing combined with men's shirts, short skirts and obligatory Uggs. My split ends breathed a sigh of relief when I finished uni!

I also have uggs BUT they're so awkward to walk in I reckon they improve muscle tone ...

Marika said...

On behalf of Australia, I'm sorry. They were never ever meant to be worn outside the house, but once those Americans get hold of something and decide it's a's out of our hands.

I urge everyone to lead by example - the only time they should ever been worn outside is the dash of shame between the front door and the garden gate for the paper in the morning.

Clarissa said...

I'll stick with my Wellies. (Also a bit trendy, but at least practical!)

Bec said...

Some girl in my office was complaining because she paid £80 for some and then discovered they were fake. I asked her if they kept her feet warm? "Yes" And that's when I told her to shut up. It was a snappy day.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I know what my chiropractor would make of that photo!

I loathe Ugg boots but then I hate any furry clothes. T had a black furry handbag and I once made her stick it in a Morrisons carrier bag cos I couldn't bear to sit next to it!

I love boots - I live in them. But not shapeless furry ones.

Nicey said...

From a blokes point viewpoint I hate the things, wear a proper boat ya know a leather black boot with a zip up the side .....

But shoes / boots to woman is like porn for blokes

Girl Vino said...

FUCKEN AMEN TO THAT! The worst part is that some people think that they honestly look all that and a bag of chips in them! WTF. My husband brought me some blue (yes, I said blue) ones for my birthday once and boasted that they cost over $100 and people wore them as slippers or shoes. I made him return them the same day.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

winter - woop!

miss understood - Haha..I just sneak up on people, they have no idea!

robbie - Lets agree to disagree (you are wrong). And yes, thats probably the thing that annoys me about them as well, the fact that people insist on wearing them in that awful state.

PJB - Slippers are fine, indoor wear - wonderful.

Shameless - Haha, there was a girl I met a few weeks ago wearing that exact combo. I asked her if she was cold (bare legged, on a farm, in winter) and she said "No, I've got my Uggs on!". Yes, so those goosebumps are just for show. Mmm.

Boy - You can't wear skinny jeans? Thank god, say I.

LL - They sound absolutely horrific. God, I'd have loved a pic of that. I should set up a stealth training school...fact.

Rachel - No, not everyone in Oxford was like that. Just most.

Surviving - With all the boots I've seen looking like that, seems like thousands of people need to be taught how to walk right!

Hannah - I concur!!

Ella - That's no excuse. However, at least you no longer wear oversized blue / pink stripey shirts with belts. Phew. One saved.

Marika - I went to Oz in 2003, and they were all the rage...As...indoor...slippers. What the hell happened!

Clarissa - As long as they haven't got heels, as per London Lass's comment!

Bec - There are so many people whinging when they get fake ones. You dont get cheap deals on popular fashion items if they're real. Fact.

Reluctant - I'm not a fan of fur either. In fact, I'd struggle to sit next to a fur bag, particularly if it happened to be mine.

Nicey - Long, tight, leather ones..yes. Short, fat, Uggly ones...less porn than a parker pen.

Girl - Thats the spirit. Blue ones? Bloooody hell. That's a whole new level of horror right there.

Lola Cherry Cola said...

Totally agree. I have no idea why they became so popular in the first place...them and Crocs *shudders*

Ladyshambles said...

There is something so utterly skanky about girls walking on the sides of their Uggs.

I don't have a problem with them per se, but that turns into outright disgust when they are clearly past their best.

Dog on a rope, springs to mind.

Anonymous said...

You probs cant afford them thats why your moaning about them.
Mine dont bend in atall and ive never seen the real ones do that. If you look at that pic hers are fake they dont have a tag on the back.
Blogs are full of shit wrote by people who dont have a life.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

What does that make people who take the time to read and comment on them?


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