Monday, 4 February 2008

Oh, blah blah...

Infuriating people are often more so when you do not have the power or sometimes even the inclination to do anything about them. They might sit next to you sniffing away like something out of a Kleenex advert, but be amazingly good at their job. They might have horrendous dress sense, but have the mind of Einstein. The bloke who comes into the studio on the day of every live show infuriates me, or rather, his ringtone does - yet he is an essential part of the running, he directs everything and thus his presence is needed. Not that I would be in any position to tell him where he could shove his phone in future anyway. He is freelance, and therefore works for a variety of other popular productions that broadcast across all different networks. He is evidently a busy man, but then so was his predecessor who did exactly the same job, but without shouting about it on the phone every 5 minutes.
 
From the second he walks into the studio, you know he's there. This is not because he is good looking and causes women everywhere to emit shrieks of pleasure at the sight they are beholding. No, you know he's there because his ringtone announces it. "FIVE....FOUR....THREE....TWO....ONE....LIFT OFF" and then an explosion, followed finally by the tone, none other than the Thunderbirds theme tune at top volume.
 
This alone would probably cause me minor irritation, but the thing that really takes the biscuit is what he does after he's picked up the phone. Which he will do no matter who he's talking to, or what stage of rehearsals we are in. The other day while I was standing in during rehearsals, he was in the outside broadcast truck and I still heard the familiar starting notes of that damn ring tone in my ear as he took his calls. "Silent" is clearly not a very active profile on his phone. So, where was I... "FIVE...FOUR..." and he's up. Out of his seat, out from behind his desk, and he's walking. Actually, not walking, wondering. Wondering about on his phone, yapping about the same thing he was yapping about last week, this TV show, oh I'm working on that TV show. Yeah, fantastic show. Visuals are amazing. So is whatserchops off the telly, you know, yah. Yappity yappity yap. Marching and yapping from one end of the studio to the other. The conversation ends, and he goes back to his seat. It's like clockwork.
 
For the love of god man...WHY MUST YOU IMMEDIATELY LEAVE YOUR DESK the MINUTE you pick up the phone? What is wrong with your desk; why must you position yourself next to mine, or anyone elses for that matter? What is wrong with yours? I do not want to be privy to your conversation, and eavesdropping is no fun when the source is occurring right next to you. At least give me a challenge.
 
The last bloke who did his job just got on with it. No fuss, no grand entrance, no shitting Thunderbirds ringtone, no - what my mum would call - "Blah Blah". When the floor manager said 'Ok, recording now everyone, phones off please nice and quiet', he wasn't the exception to the rule. I console myself with the fact that everyone else in the studio finds Larry Loud-Tone as irritating as I do, a fact confirmed by the rolling eyes that meet when the first "FIVE...FOUR..." of the day rings out.
 
I pray for the day that he changes that ringtone, or, failing that, the day that he lowers his voice, turns his phone on silent and is chained to his temporary desk to avoid this Talk and Walk syndrome that he currently suffers from.
 

12 comments:

Reluctant Blogger said...

People like that are generally hopelessly insecure under all the loudness. It's just a shame he can't be insecure a little more quietly. Thunderbirds though, dear me.

Try nicking his phone and dropping it down the loo.

James said...

How annoying, but I suppose that's what you get when you work in a big broadcasting company, too many people liking the sound of their own voice.

Any more clues about the show yet?

China Blue said...

Pray he gets a serious throat infection and twists his ankle...

I'm also dying to know what the show is...

weenie said...

But Thunderbirds is cool! ;-)

the boy who likes to... said...

There is a guy in my work similar to that. Except that he sometimes leaves his phone on the desk and goes of for a 20 minute fag break. As soon as he leaves the office his girlfriend will call (I know it's his girlfriend as they must of only been together a short time and she calls all the time) and she will keep ringing the phone ever few seconds for 20 mintues until he gets back.
Sometimes I feel like answering the phone and telling her "Take the hint woman, he aint around damnit!"

Boy said...

Some people deserve death. Gr. I agree with RB though, nick his phone. OR, if you can get it for just 5 minutes, change the ringtone to something poifect for causing embarassment!

London-Lass said...

Just comfort yourself with the fact that those who come blessed with too much in the way of OTT ringtones, loud voices, self importance and general all round twattishness, are usually packing equipment in their trousers the size and shape of a small prawn.

PS : Loving the phrase `blah blah'.
PPS : As James said, any more clues ...?

Jo said...

Put it this way clue hunters...if I tell you what the programme is, and you watch it and you were super keen and observant, then it'd be pretty easy to find out my name because it's on the credits. Thus defeating the object of an a-n-o-n-y-m-o-u-s- blog. And putting my job at risk as a result. So no more clues and no more asking for them! ;)

I'd love to tell you all more details, but as we all know there are more people who read this than those who comment - and who knows how bored they get in their spare time! Can't be too careful these days!

And be assured that the next time that bloke leaves his phone unattended, I am on course for a stealth operation in phone removal and settings alteration...

AFC 30K said...

I'll move on soon enough, but until then it looks like you're stuck with him

non-Blondie said...

ARGH! Everyone in management, in every office I've ever worked in, does that to me. I, and my desk, have a magical gravitational force. Apparently, you simply cannot conduct a conversation without it being at ridiculously high volume, right behind me. And bonus points to the manager who would always end his call, then peer over my shoulder at my computer screen and ask (about the MYOB accounting package we used) - 'is that work related?'. Nope, I just play witha ccounting packages for FUN!

James said...

yeh...yeh...anonymity...internet weirdos...etc...etc. We want some clues god dam it.

Just kidding, still massively intrigued though

theperpetualspiral said...

I find loud obnoxious ring tones especially annoying in a scenario where they are not needed.

Sounds like the guy is doing it for an ego boost more than anything else, along with being too bloody minded to see how annoying it is.

I look forward to the post where you change the ring tone to something quiet and change the language of the phone to Turkish.

 

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