Monday, 10 December 2007

This post is minus a laugh....sorry.

I'm not one to blog about personal stuff...but this seems fitting because I already mentioned about it earlier in the year. Some predictions have been made in a previous post that have actually come true and as is usually the way with these things, it's not that a £1000 Dior saddle bag has miraculously landed onto my door step.

In July this year, my uncle had a heart attack. It came 6 months after my auntie, aged 49, died in her sleep on New Years Day and as a result we were all pretty shocked and, to quote myself, hoping that he wouldn't 'be next'. Between now and then, he quit smoking, drinking and got on a diet and my Grandma was diagnosed with cancer, putting a name to something that has been wrong for about a year now, or, since my auntie died.

On Saturday, while trying to stop my boyfriend watching Dog the Bounty Hunter on Sky, my mum rang me. In a conversation that is becoming all too familiar, she told me that my uncle had died about an hour ago - he was out shopping in Hull with his girlfriend and had a massive heart attack. I was second to be told and next in line was my Grandma, about to receive the news that her 43 year old son had died, 11 months after her daughter.

It's actually quite hard to write this, not because I'm straining against the tears but because I've got such mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I felt awful for my uncle, whose efforts to change his lifestyle choices in an attempt to save himself from another heart attack had come too late; and then because it had claimed him so publicly, in a shop surrounded by gawping Saturday shoppers who were all shocked by what they were seeing. I felt awful for his girlfriend who tried to resuscitate him. Then I felt horrendously aware of my grandma losing her second child and of my mum losing not only her little sister this year, but now her little brother as well, when she's already had a really shitty year having ongoing from a crash in February. I thought of the fact that we were putting things in place for my grandma, and now that I've got a funeral next week for someone completely different. I felt sad because another family member had died at such a young age, it doesn't seem fair to them or anyone. Then I had this feeling that it could all have been avoided if he'd just looked after himself; got out of the rut of coming from a poor background and town with no prospects like my mum and her other brothers have done. Eaten well. Not smoked. Not drunk as much. In short: looked after himself.

As with most people who blog about this sort of stuff, needless to say I'm not after the sympathy vote. In fact, I suppose what I'm really saying is I urge you to read this and then look after yourself. If you're unhappy with your weight, even slightly or quite seriously, or pissed off with the fact that your lifestyle isn't what it should be, don't just whinge about it, do something. Even if you're in the minority of being fat and not whinging about it, like my auntie was, just do something anyway because it has consequences. And they're all written above.

16 comments:

mjohnson said...

Thanks for sharing, I'm currently in bed because I was too drunk to go to work this morning! I was shitfaced at 8.30 in the morning (still drunk from night before). I think I had better have a bit of a think about my drinking.

Perpetual said...

During the summer I had a very close call when I got sick, and since then I resolved to look at life differently and so far it is the best thing I ever did.

Alex said...

Wow, that's a strong post, and makes a good point. The thing is, I look at these things and think it doesn't apply to me because I'm only 21, but I know that's not the case. I'm not fat but I have an appalling diet owing to my parents not forcing me to eat my greens.

One thing I've wondered, is how do you learn to eat healthy?

Jo said...

mjohnson - I'm not anti drinking by any stretch of the imagination... it's when drinking is paired on a daily basis with eating shit food, never exersising and driving lorries (not at the same time, I hasten to add) which seems to be the problem here.

perpetual- Its sad that sometimes it takes a life threatening thing to actually get yourself in order, isn't it?

Alex - I've never been much of a veg eater either. I think its a matter of slowly introducing yourself to things you're not used to eating. There are so many ways to eat healthy stuff without actually realising you're eating it, if that makes sense. I favour shoving everything in a wrap, as I have an aversion to sandwiches!

Reluctant Blogger said...

Such a tricky one. It is difficult, if not impossible to get people to change their lifestyles. It has to hit THEM with that force it hit you. Second hand is just not the same.

It's so much easier to hide from scary truths with regard to health and smoking and drinking and poor eating than to face up to them. I suspect we all do it up to a point. Plus we all see people who do everything right get struck down with things too.

43 is very young.

James said...

In response to some of the comments so far...

I can speak from experience that eating healthily is just about getting used to doing so. It is amazing how quickly your body adapts from hating greens and craving for sugary/fatty snacks to almost the complete opposite.

Miss Understood said...

Jo, I'm so sorry your family is going through this again. It's so unfair.

My life is changing on Januray 1st. That may sound ridiculous...why wait when I could do it now? But I need the build up (and I want to enjoy Christmas too.) The fags are going FOR GOOD this time, and so is the wine. I'm actually looking forward to being the new, improved me.

Thanks for sharing this...it'll make someone sit up and listen.

I did.

londongirl said...

I'm so sorry to hear that - and you're absolutely right to give us a jolt about thinking about what we do to our bodies. I definitely drink too much and think I should cut down in the new year.

Girl Vino said...

It really sucks when life throws you too many curve balls. Hubs and I are not overweight by any stretch, and we do eat rather well, drink more than some, but the key to our downside is we don't exercise. At all. We admit it and we want to change. We are both extremely busy at not that this should be an excuse, but like I said to the doc. When should I exercise? 5.30am or 10pm? Those are my free times. I need to get more active in an easy way.

AFC 30K said...

Jo, I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle, and of course your aunt.

Having just lost a parent it was somewhat of an inevitability, but I can't imagine what your gran must be going through. To loose a child, at any age, must be the most terrible hurt anyone could suffer.

weenie said...

Thanks for sharing this. At a time when many will be over-indulging food and drink-wise, it's important not to forget that we need to look after our bodies cos they don't stay young and fit forever.

Me, I exercise regularly and try to limit my drinking to weekends only (Fri-Sun is my weekend...), with only the occasional binge.

I fall down on the food part, probably only have two proper meals in a week.

Maybe in the new year...

Ella said...

Jo, i'm so sorry to hear about your uncle. You're poor granma xxx

Thanks for the wake-up call. As of next week (after exams) I am going back to the gym but I'm going to be realistic and start off at once a week. I have generally managed to cut out the kebabs after a night boozing and the sugary crap has also gone. I'm also with James on that your body just gets used to it, I used to take 4 sugars in my tea, I now go sans sugar, the very taste of it makes me feel ill.

Oli said...

Aww hope you feel better soon!

Your title banner thing made me chuckle!

China Blue said...

I'm so sorry the hear about your loss.

People think they listen to cautionary tales, but until it hits them, or someone close, it doesn't happen very often. I am a chronic sweet-eater, and my dad is diabetic - which puts me at risk. Your uncle's story is a timely reminder that we all need to look after ourselves better, especially in this season of excess followed by the inevitable purge in January.

Thanks for sharing, and hugs. x

Jo said...

I'm glad that it's at least making you lot consider taking a step back and checking what you do and eat and drink etc...I'm not one to lecture, I eat crap and I drink, but luckily my weight never catches up with me. I'm so conscious of it dispite that! The funeral's on Tuesday anyway.

Jeremy Jacobs said...

dead at only 49. That's tragic

 

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