Monday, 29 October 2007

Mate, shut it.

I know it's a manly thing, and this thing I'm about to whinge about probably has it's roots in the deep psyche of the male mind, back in a time when sitting legs akimbo was once all about showing the cave girl opposite you on the raft just how muct stuff you got...but really... London, Central line, midday, year 2007: love, I ask you: What would Freud say?


If it's possible to be made to feel uncomfortable mearly by the position someone is sitting in, whether they're minding their own business and blissfully unaware or not; it's still a little disconcerting. And trust me, when his hands weren't there, which for the majority of the journey they weren't...you just don't know where to look. And I'd already exhausted every page of the Metro.

Now I know it's a matter of comfort for a bloke to sit with their legs apart to save squishage of the important bits, but when it comes to sitting like this, it is also advisable to consider the comfort of the lady sitting opposite you (for that is what I am. A Lady. Factus, Maximus, True Story) and ask yourself if the same manly feeling can be achieved some other way such as...

  1. Talking loudly about football, or if you have no friends, making it clear you are reading the newspaper back to front (sport section first)
  2. Carrying a bottle of Stella Artois
  3. Or a toolbox
  4. Talking loudly about 'the rack on that'.

Et voila, instant feeling of Manlyness without an outline of a willy in sight. Merci Buckets.

That is all.

13 comments:

James said...

Maybe you should have made some comment, perhaps along the lines off.

"Crikey, that's quite a small package your displaying there. You might want to consider some of those enlargment pills you can get off the internet"

I imagine he might of been a little less keen to air his testicles after that.

Ella said...

lol I'm always tempted to ask the 'man' in question whether he has abnormally large balls.

one girl said...

eeeeew! close those legs buddy!

Miss Understood said...

LOL at James!

At least he wasn't doing it at the beach with his shorts on!

AFC 30K said...

It is indeed more comfortable to site with legs apart, but, as you say, that far apart is a little uncalled for.

Although, it is a inherent thing that men do.

Hannah said...

Oh my... That's not cool.

London-Lass said...

O, these `characters' are 10 a penny on my tube journeys. And not just men either. Remember watching some lady get on and then sit, legs akimbo (said legs attractively dressed in pop socks with thick hanks of black hair poking through) for a good read of her newspaper. Course with everyone's legs open and `washing' being pretty low down on yer average commuter's list of `things to do' it can get quite `interesting' some times. Life would be so much more pleasant if there were more people on the tube like me i.e. legs firmly bolted together the whole tube journey long (so you couldnt even wedge an Oyster card between them) and a firm fan of thorough washing.

Nikki said...

Oh, the joys of the tube. I always end up sat opposite the compulsive stare-rs. One day I'm just gonna flip out like "what the hell are you looking at?!" and scare the rest of the people on the train. I know I'm sat directly opposite, but there ARE other things to focus their vision on.... like anything but my face. Or chest. Sigh.

the boy who likes to... said...

I'm quite surprised you got away with taking a photo of this guys crotch!
I'll need to make sure as I pass through London tonight to be on the look out for a Factus, Maximus, True Story Lady with camera phone taking unsuspecting shots of men.
If I do see you, I'll make sure to say hi...with my legs crossed :)

Drama Queen said...

And we all know he's only going to end up being really tiny weeny anyway ;-)

Ella said...

ewww, i just noticed he's scratching, it's almost as tho he wishes he was scratching said bollocks

kit lizette said...

OMG yes agree. Have had worse I must say, one guy pretend slept, in a pair of football short and his willy fell out. Yep, fell out and there it was. On display. Lovely. Not quite the right environment to exite us is it really?
Next time u should do what James suggested. I know I will! Haha

london cokehead said...

Ha... What a man!

 

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