Sunday, 14 October 2007

I can get my own paper towel, thanks

Friday night was spent in a bar just off Oxford Street, in a booth prebooked by Birthday Girl Hoff, behind a table that was, within minutes of our arrival, littered with wine bottles and glasses. We drank, we laughed, more people arrived, we drank more, took non-posey photos, chatted more, shouted over the music, danced (in our seats) and then I had to go to the toilet. Break the seal and all that.

As I tottered in I gave an inward wince of 'Oh noooo', as one of my pet peeves was sitting in the corner, greeting me with a 'Hallo' as I walked in. No, it wasn't PITA or a traffic warden, it was a Toilet Attendant. Fair enough right, if you're a stinky minky and you need to freshen up then these people come in quite give them a quid and they give you like a squirt of perfume or a lolly or like a tampon or something, I understand they can be useful. But really, most of the time you're cool and you just want to go in there, do your business, wash your hands and get out. But no - there's Miss Toilet Attendant smiling away, making you feel all guilty for having enough money to go out and have a good time while they're stuck in the bogs making 50p an hour plus whatever 'tips' people want to give them, holding out a paper towel and smiling expectantly at you as you wash ya mitts.

Love, I can get my own towel. In fact, I'm a dab hand with the hand dryer come to mention it and no, I don't want you to press the button for me. Then you get the girls that come in and have the drunken patronising Sympathy Chat with Mrs Glum the Toilet Attendant, exchanging views on like, deoderant or's so unneccessary. Like last night I'm sitting on the loo thinking maybe I can do a deal with the woman. "Look, I'll be coming in here alot tonight and it's not cost-productive for me to give you a tip every how about on my last visit I'll buy a lolly and we'll call it quits?". Instead, I go out, wash my hands, she's grinning at me offering me potions and lotions, shoving paper towels at I did the sensible thing. Washed my hands until someone else came out then used them as a decoy to make my escape.

And so the night continued, and a good one it was. We left around 2am, doing mildly better than one of our party who was put in a cab home some hours earlier having chucked up everywhere outside. We tottered over to Euston and got the last train home along with hundreds of other drunks, then sat on the kerb waiting for a cab with a box of chips. I retired to bed accommpanied by a Berocca - and on Saturday there was not a hangover in sight - marvellous.

On Monday I begin my 4 weeks work experience at a biiiig broadcasting company and I'm excited...but nervous. Let's hope I make a good impression, eh?


James said...

Good luck with the work experience...

the boy who likes to... said...

I quite like the toilet people. I feel like a mini king when in the toilets with people handing me soap, turning on the tap and hadning me towels.

Ella said...

I HATE toilet attendants too!!! They send you on such a guilt trip with their eyes and their smiles and offers of "lollipop". The ones that offer hair straighteners are a bit more bearable on a humid night tho ...

Good luck on the placement!

londongirl said...

i can't bear the toilet attendants either - guilt trip city. eeek.

Miss Understood said...

ok. I need to get one of those of those things.

And then I need to find a pub toilet which acually has paper towels, let alone a nice lady who holds them.

Marika said...

Oooh, good luck with work experience!

Wash room attendants were one of the things I just neve 'got' in the UK. How can there be someone sitting in the bathroom,drying your hands for you, whereas three hours before you had to put your own groceries in a bag at the supermarket?!

Steph said...

I can't handle loo attendants. They put me off my pee, I get stage fright.

London-Lass said...

Toilet attendants always make me feel as guilty as security guards in stores do. And awkward too. And who wants to go in for a wee (knowing that you may fart in the process) knowing there is a frou frou toilet attendant just a few nostril sniffs away from you..? Not I.

Incidentally good luck at the `big broadcasting company' .. have got a good feeling about this! :)

Hannah said...

Ooooh - good luck! Is it THE Big Broadcasting Company?!

AFC 30K said...

Good luck. I hope it all went well on your first day in the job.

I hear from someone I knows that used to work at a Big Broadcasting Corporation that it's an amazing place (as well as frustrating which is why they left) but he always said that the felt like Charlie in the Chocolat Factory when he first started there.

Jo said...

James - thank you!

the boy - Ooh, it ust be a man thing...superiority complex comes to mind :D

ella - I have to say my mind may change should one be weilding a pair of straighteners. Haven't come across that though myself!

londongirl - Exactly...I have every right to use the loo without parting with my money out of pity!

miss understood - Berocca! £3.99 for a tube of them at Boots at the moment, go go go. Great for hangovers, tried and tested! And I suppose one good thing about the T.A's are that they at least ensure there is paper to be handed :D

Marika - thanks! and great comparison. Although I always find myself saying 'Oh no, I'm fine thanks' in supermarkets when help is offered...even though I have about 100 things to pack - must be a British thing.

steph - no one likes to be heard while dropping the kids off at the pool.

londonlass - Arrghh i bet they've heard their fair share of accidental farts and 'eww, did you hear that? WASN'T ME!'

hannah - It may be a large british broadcasting company, although many fit that description ;)

AFC - They'd be right. I'm in awe of the place!


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