Wednesday, 12 September 2007

WHUCA Wednesday*

Hmmm, let's see...what did the cat drag in today? And what is that immense racket coming from Counter 4 at the post office? Why the commotion?

Oooh, hello gorgeous! I like your earrings! Especially the way they are so thick and chunky and gold...with...whats that written inside them? Oh, who cares, they are beautiful...



Ohh, and that tattoo! Nearly missed that! Thank god you've chosen a top that displays it across the small of your back just perfectly! It's clearly not your son's name, as you've been yelling that across the post office for the last 15 minutes every time he escapes from the confines of his pushchair and makes a run for the door... "TYREEEEEEEEEESE....TYREEEEEEEEEEEEEESE, GET ERE NAAAAA! YOU WAN'A BISKIT??? I GOT BISKIT!!" It must be the name of your spouse, partner...or, what do they call them these days, da baby fada? Farshar? I lose track.

Blaady hell lav, 'urry up...benefit hour's nearly up and Jeremy Kyle's on in ten, it's your television debut! Which show are you? Your Baby's Too White to Be Mine? or maybe Ex, You Slept With My Sister - I'll Never Take You Back? By the way, Who Got Your Pregnant, The Lodger or the Lover?

Oh, thank god, your rampant child has calmed down. Ahhhh! Now I understand - see how he cleverly uses your left earring as a swing? What a novel idea.

Until next week, folks...


*What Have You Come As - because I'm too scared to say it to your face

9 comments:

pink jellybaby said...

i LOVE this!!! hehehe

i will try and find some wonderful people to pass onto you as well

the boy who likes to... said...

That reminds me, I need to call my sister.

James said...

She only looks about 14... I wonder what the tattoo says.

AFC 30K said...

A delightful young lady....

China Blue said...

Jo, you're funny. I'm jealous.

Oh God, Tyrese - what a ghetto name. I know it makes me sound a terrible snob, but jeez, what a hoodrat! And that tramp-stamp? Mmmm, clarsey.

Venting said...

Oh. My. God.

We have them here too - I'll try to get pics as well. We could compare (for cultural reasons) white trash in the UK vs Canada.

Miss Understood said...

I'm sure if you'd have said "Pssst...turn round honey...I'm gonna put you on the Internet," she'd have given you a really nice smile.

Mr Farty said...

Where's his little sister, Britney?

Jo said...

pjb - please do! camera phones at the ready and all that...

the boy - hahahaha, that made me laugh. she's like that then?

james - it was a bloke's name, shame she was so animated in her speech and the camera blurred when i took the pic.

afc - b-e-a-u-tiful. better in the flesh. trust me.

china blue - snob away. she was rancid awful. i had to go on stealth mode to get her picture because she was a bit... firey...so glad the effort and risk i went to made you laugh :D

venting - YES YES YES! Give me the awful people from the other side of the pond!

miss understood - i was taking my life in my hands as it was...haha... bet she's got beautiful teeth though. you're right. ;)

mr farty - probably half way down the highstreet. "chaaaaan-elllllllllllle get ere naaaaa!"

 

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