Monday, 16 July 2007

Weekend stuff - bit morbid, sorry...

The weekend was a good'un...wondered into Fulham and met the boyfriend after work, stayed at his sister's flat in north london for a couple of nights then returned to my house. It's so nice to be around him again, and around people actually. We drove back up to Hull this afternoon and I've just emptied out the remaining things from my house and locked my Parent Retreat for the last time. Bah. Bring on living with the 'rents again....not.

Had a bit of bad news this morning as me and the boyfriend were out with the dog, and that was from my mum that she was also going to be making the journey up north today because my uncle has had a bad heart attack and is in hospital. Don't take this the wrong way - because I'm sorry it's happened and I hope he's ok - but my main feeling was shit...what about grandma? she's already lost one child this year... My aunty died on New Years Day unexpectedly and it has left my grandma ill and rather lonely, as Heather would spend a lot of time at her house and well, having your daughter die before you is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a parent.

Heather dying was awful for us, she was obese and we knew her weight would mean that she wouldn't live as long as a fit and healthy person, but we didn't expect her to die - not least when she'd been on the phone to relatives on New Years Eve wishing them a happy new year. A month ago my mum had seen her brother and, given his own ballooning size, in part due to a job as a lorry driver and well just plain unhealthy eating, drinking and probably laziness, had warned him 'keep that up and you'll be next I expect'.

After the initial shock first of 'Is he ok?', my thoughts turned to 'Oh, poor grandma..' and then 'How fucking selfish'. Surely if your sister's just died of a weight related problem, you'd want to give your mother something less to worry about? Maybe put your health in a better position so that you can look after her rather than the other way around? Surely it shouldn't take a heart attack and blood clot to make you realise that you're about to go the same way as your father and sister?

My mum went to see him in the hospital this afternoon, tapped him on the shoulder and said 'I take it you've smoked your last fag then' to which he replied 'Yep, you can say that again.'

Lets hope she won't have to.

3 comments:

the boy who likes to... said...

I hope your uncles health improves.

When do you move in with your rents?

London-Lass said...

Oo eck .. hope all goes OK with your uncle.

Marika said...

Oh, that's horrible. I hope he's ok.

I hear what you're saying though. I had an uncle die from emphasyma (spelling? no idea) about 10 years ago - it was a horrible, drawn out, very painful death, and his whole family - wife and 5 daughters - were put through agony waiting for the end. You'd think that seeing a loved one go like that would have motivated them all to stop smoking, but no, it didn't. His wife kept on going, and then exactly the same thing happened to her - the girls had to nurse her through exactly the same thing. It's an odd mixture of pity for the family and that underlying anger.

 

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