Tuesday, 19 June 2007

You wanna be in my gang?

In 2003, my first year of uni, I lived in halls with about 25 other people.

Within about a week, me and another two girls had formed a little group with the motto 'If I wasn't us, I'd hate us' because we were annoyingly close and would do annoying cliquey things like go off for day trips and ban anyone else from coming and have annoyingly cliquey in-jokes. It wasn't a bigheaded 'haatterrr' thing, it was a 'no, you'll probably find us really irritating and actually hate us' thing. Where to start?


We had an imaginary friend called Bev who lived in the store cupboard in our halls. This caused a problem when a handyman came to fix something once and, on seeing the sticker 'BEV'S ROOM' stuck to the store cupboard door, he knocked and asked us if Bev was in, and would she mind if he got some tools out. We also had an imaginary cat called Boots who even had her own basket at the top of the stairs...cue the warden giving us a lecture on the 'no pets allowed' rules. When we went out we'd split off from everyone else and get random photos of other students / DJs / bouncers with Bev, and for fun, hunt down people wearing fake Burberry (10 points) or real Burberry (5 points) and get our photos taken with them as well. We'd see what we could steal from clubs, nothing major...you know, posters, decorations, masks...once one of us spied some huge guy wearing a rubber Osama Bin Laden mask and asked to try it on, only to run off with it the minute he wasn't looking. We spent the rest of the night hiding from this huge scary army-clad bloke but finally escaped with the mask. Sorry, that man. He'd probably hired it or something.


Everytime one of us went to the shower we'd ask, David Brent style, 'Ummm, are you going to wash your....?' and point to our lower halves. This was particularly funny when we did it in front of other people, especially those who didn't know us. Whenever we got talking to anyone while we were out at a club, especially again people we didn't know and they'd ask if we were drunk or what we were drinking we'd turn around and in all hammered-seriousness say 'I don't drink, it's water' - you'd be surprised how many people believed us. Once we went to The Deep where we engaged in conversation with a young, slightly geeky lad who worked there. We asked him questions about the fish, starting with 'How do they make babies?' and watched him squirm as he told us and pointed out the relevant 'holes' in the sharks. Our favourite bit was the gift shop, where we donned the masks and ran around pretending to be creatures of the sea.

Along with 'we don't drink' was another favourite 'we don't kiss boys' which would be yelled across a club / through a bedroom door whenever one of us was engaged with a bloke. One of our favourite games, started in 1st year but carried on into 2nd year when there was nothing good on TV, or in ad breaks was the Minge Game, a competition to see who knew the most words for a vagina. e.g.
Jo - Minge

K - Flaps

J - Furry cup etc


It's now tradition that when 2 of us meet without the other one, wherever they are they must send a package of relevant souvenirs and notes. e.g. K & J met in Paris and sent me a a package of random stuff, Eiffel tower keyring etc, and last time me and J met in London, K received a package consisting of:


1 x utterly rancid 70p scrunchie hairband from H&M's bargain box

1 x utterly rancid £1 dodgy material dangley earrings from H&M's bargain box

1 x Charles and Camilla postcard

1 x Greeting card - two, suited men holding hands on the front, 'Congratulations' inside; 50p from Selfridges bargain box

4 x photos: me hugging a giant Happy Feet penguin outside HMV oxford street, me standing by a cab that has 'Smooth Ride' written on the side, 2 of J in changing room wearing utterly rancid clothing.

You get the idea.


Another of our favourite things was to give nicknames to people we didn't know who lived in the other halls of residence. To my memory there was 'You're Short' (she was), 'Why the long face' (it was very long), 'Why the strange face' (felt a bit bad about that one), and a series of 'You're Fit's' all allocated with numbers for ease of recognition. We nicknamed J's mum 'Stumpy' because when her mum sent something to her it was always just the item and no accompanying note like everyone else got. This was clearly because she had no hands. (It's ok, J told her mum about the nickname, she loved it).


Annoyingly, this all happened in the age pre-digital camera, however our antics did get developed and stuck on the wall in our hall for all to see, which I then took a picture of. I have done my best to provide some proof:







And whilst I don't expect you to find any of this remotely funny, much like everyone else who lived with us in first, second and third year - let me assure you that it is funny. Safet to say we've all grown up (a bit) since then but it still makes me laugh. Maybe it's because most other people in our halls were a bit boring that it all seemed so funny. I've been pissing myself laughing writing all this and just fired off two texts of 'minge' to both girls. One reply reads 'You're a minge. So's your face'. The other now works as a teacher so I'll have to wait til lunch for a reply I expect. I understand this contradicts the 'we've all grown up now' comment I just made. Oops.


Anyway, nice one, I feel happier now I've just remembered all that.

7 comments:

the boy who likes to... said...

Looks like alot of fun. I especially liked the photo of the "DJ and Bev."

Furry Cup? Never heard that one. haha

China Blue said...

Fantastic - growing up doesn't mean becoming boring and humourless, it just means knowing how to get away with behaving like a madarse once in a while! Sounds like you had a great time, and it's nice to re-live those memories. Loved the bit about running around with the 'creatures of the sea' masks
:-D

Nobody Girl said...

Whenever I meet up with my old schoolmates, I regress to be a teenager again. They make me laugh and laugh until my sides hurt and mt cheeks ache - I think it's so important and so great to be able to just be yourself with old mates, and if that means running around with funny masks and stuff...all the better :D

Venting said...

Wow - when I was in university in London I worked full-time so I never had time to make friends with any of the people I was in classes with, nor to do any of this crazy stuff.

I feel cheated.

London-Lass said...

I still have a friend from my school-days (we've known each other for 30 years) who I can just mention a phrase to (i.e. `tuna baps', `back action') and we instantly understand each other. And cause each other to crease up in fits of giggles. Whilst others around us are going "What the-?" I've never actually been in a club although did once join this group at senior school that called themselves `Chocolate' but quickly disassociated myself from them when I realised the whole point of the group was to either shoplift or bully younger seniors. Not exactly The Red Hand Gang..!

Hannah said...

Guess you had to be there... ;) But can totally empathise. I swear people overhearing the conversations I have with my friends are only seconds away from dialling the men in white coats.

Jo said...

the boy - furry cup, flange, kebab, beaver...the list goes on

china blue - that's the thing, it was all a massive in-joke and they're no fun when you're on the outside, which kind of made it all the funnier...(for us)

nobody girl- exactly. whats the point in being young if you can't re-live it once in a while?

venting - ohhh you missed out! saying that living in halls can be the best or worst experience of your life...it depends who you get put with.

london-lass - I don't know why, but tuna baps does have a nice ring to it

hannah - haha, yeah DEFINITELY a 'had to be there' moment if ever there was one :D

 

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