Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Things I'd like to know

I have this list of things in my head of things I'd like to know, if it were possible (which is isn't) - like collective statistics of

Things I've done throughout my life. Pointless? Yes.
  • How many bottles of wine I have consumed

  • How many single bars of chocolate I've eaten

  • How many episodes of Friends I've watched (inc. repeats)

  • The collective amount of money I've spent on alcohol

  • ...and the percentage of alcohol that has been thrown up

  • Amount of money spent on handbags and shoes....

  • ....compared to the amount I've spent on actual necessities, i.e. food

  • How many people have my number in their phone

  • How many times I've cried

  • ....and how many times it was because of a bloke

  • Time spent queuing to buy things in shops

  • And, just to shut up the smartarses who come out with that bullshit statistic about ' the average person consumes 8 spiders a year while their sleeping' - I want to know that too, just so I can go up to anyone who has ever told me it and say HA, I'm AVERAGE and You're WRONG.

And, oh what the hell...just because I thought of a few:

Things that annoy me, Part umm, 4 or something

  • People who put commas, in unnecessary places, like this, when they write, every couple of words, that's really, annoying for an, English student to look, at without going 'you don't need a comma there, love'.

  • In addition, people who use excessive!!!! amounts!!!!! of exclamation marks!!!! or question marks at the end of their sentences? even when there isn't a question?

  • When parents allow their children to swear. The other week I was walking around ASDA (as you do) when I heard a voice behind me say 'No I won't fucking stop.' A soft reply of 'Don't speak to me like that' then 'I'll do whatever the fuck I want' and then a kindly 'Oh, don't say that...' You're really going to let your ten year old talk like that? Seriously?

  • Minimum 12 month contracts for things. You sly little corporate know I don't want my phone line for that long you little scamps. You know I'm only in the house 10 months, possibly less. I can get the line cut off, but not the contract. So they collect my cash right through to October - altogether now 'ohhh rabbit-balls'.
  • One more annoying thing is when I add a picture to my blog post, and blogger unhelpfully adds in massive spaces everywhere for no reason at all between all my paragraphs which makes it look like I'm a h'actual space-freak or something.

And before I go, look at the size of this strawberry!! It's huge, I think I'm going to save it til the end. Like ice gems when I used to eat the biscuit bit and leave the icing bit, then save them all up, organise them by colour and then eat them leaving the white ones til last (no racist). Did someone say O.C.D?


Miss Understood said...

How, do we know, that it's a big strawberry???????????????
You could have, put it next to, a teeny weeny one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dread to think about how much alcohol has seeped through my liver. That's if I still have one.

the boy who likes to... said...

Good lists.
Id hate to know how many episodes of Friends I've watched. To know all that time that's been wasted. Sorry, but Friends wasn't one of my favourite shows. I much preferred Seinfeld.
I hate the over use of exclamation marks too. Not so much commas or questions marks. Mainly because people leave out commas and question marks from texts but place in exclamations marks.

I hate buying strawberries with loads of little strawberries in. I'd rather go without. You cant beat biting in to a big juicy strawberry.

China Blue said...

At one of my last jobs, we were given these mehoosive fuck-off strawbs, along with other fruity delights. One of the guys quipped that it was a ploy by the company to feed them radiocative/GM food so they would work extra hours.

Ice gems were lovely, but I preferred the pink ones. And I also used to eat the biscuit bit first before returning to devour the icing. Mmmmm :-)

Hannah said...

No, no. Knowing the amount of money I've spent would be horrid. Ditto wine drunk and chocolate eater. Ignorance is bliss.

Hannah said...

*EateN, damnit.

London-Lass said...

"People who put commas, in unnecessary places, like this, when they write, every couple of words..."

Oops -- I am guilty of this and wish to apologise right now for my comma obsessiveness. I've even been known to break up a completely wonderful sentence (that doesnt need breaking up at all) with full-stops. See. What I. Mean?

Venting said...

Over here, mobie phone contracts are for a MINIMUM of two years. Most are for three.

Sucks monkey balls, I tell you.


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