Thursday, 10 May 2007

'Oi, move up, fatty'

It came to my attention yesterday while blog reading, then later in an episode of Sex and the City, that Bed-Space Wars are a particularly common problem in houses all around the world. No, I'm not talking about an inter galactic battle between physically abnormal creatures (although the battle I'm on about does get quite fierce, and I have been known to resemble something quite unearthly on a morning). I'm on about that problem when you nip out of bed to go to the loo, or perhaps just wake up in the middle of the night to find that your other half has kindly spread his or her body out in such a way that leaves you nothing but a small square at the foot of the bed in which to sleep.

I find cats are particularly good at this. My cat Tiger's only small, but everytime she gets on my bed and sleeps, I find myself struggling to find a comfortable position and end up kind of curled round her in an obscure and rather uncomfortable fashion. No amount of placing her at the foot of the bed can stop her taking full command of an entire space meant for two people. How do they do it?

Anyway, back to Me and Him. It got to the point where my boyfriend claimed he actually couldn't sleep when I'm in the same bed as him due to the fact that I take up so much space. Now, I'm not a big girl. I'm 5 ft 3 and not exactly chunky with it. So how the hell, I argued, could I take up the room? How is it me that's the reason for his sleepless nights? Don't be so stupid, I said. The discussion raged every morning for weeks. 'Stay over your side' 'I am! You've got all the duvet over there though!' 'You've got loads of space! Look how much I've got!' (Cue measuring of space with hands for comparison)

One day I got a phone call.

Him: 'I've got a surprise'.
Me: 'Choc -'
Him: '-Not chocolate'
Me: 'Owwww.'
Him: 'You're such a fatty. I've been doing a spot of moving about. I've solved the sleep problem, come round!'

So that evening I entered his room to find that one bed was now two. Hurrah! A Bed Room. An actual room of beds. Two double beds no less, evidently because one was not big enough to accommodate my bulk. So now we hop into bed, snuggle up for a bit, before I am banished to My Side until the morning. Situation sorted.

And who said romance was dead, eh? ;)

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