Friday, 18 May 2007

"Noise is unwanted sound"

I'm very irritable this week. My head is everywhere, and with speed that would impress Jeremy Clarkson, I'm flipping from absolutely content and happy to a anxious irritable mess in about 2 seconds.

The simplest thing is making me go 'ARGGHH' as well. This morning it was the boyfriend's loud singing of a random hymn as we lay in bed. Cue me turning, as he called me into 'Devil Child' in a matter of seconds. Then I get back to my house to find that the shoes I'd ordered have come and gone because I wasn't here to sign for them. Cue me 'Ohhhh piss flaps.' as I now have to ring up and get them re-delivered and specify a day (not a time, oh no, you can't ask for a certain time for delivery...it's a case of just stay in all day and wait).

Then bloody noise again. Beep beep phone goes. It's mother of The Little Terrors saying that there will be an additional Little Terror to pick up from school today for a sleep over. Who will all be expecting fish and chips / pizza...argghhh...who I then have to get assembled into tennis gear and off to the courts...argghhh....where they will demand things for 3 hours until parental pick up time....argghhh....

And now, as I sit to write this; shoe-less, child noise-imminent, a bloody CAR alarm starts. And. It. Will. Not. Shut. Up. Will. Someone. Please. Turn. It. Off. You. Are Defeating.The.Whole. Idea. Of. It. ARgghhhhhh.

I know what this hatred for noise is stemming from. I had it before in 2nd year when the boys I lived with bought a surround sound for our cardboard walled living room, thus subjecting me to the bass line of any voice, music, XBox game, or wrestling dvd that they chose to play around end of year / exam time.

It's that whole thing of sounds becoming stressful when you can't control them. And at the moment, I feel pretty much at the hands of other people. Deadlines set by tutors, only my horse will decide if he wants to behave himself for the woman coming to see him tomorrow, shoes that can't be delivered when I want, and an uncertain summer: I'll be leaving uni forever. The boyfriend will no longer live 2 minutes away, it'll be 2 hours. When my parents annoy me, I can't calm myself with the knowledge of it only being for another week or so.


If things have to change, why can't they do it quietly?

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