Friday, 23 March 2007

Things That Annoy Me, Part 3

  1. People who sit and yawn openly the whole way through a meeting / class / conversation. At the end of your arm there is a hand, use it to cover your mouth. It's rude. Alternatively, have some damn manners and stifle it like the everyone else probably does when you talk.
  2. The owner who has again allowed their dog to shit opposite the last lot it left. Which is still there. They have all these stensil things with a picture of a dog having a poo and 'Clean it up' painted all over the pavements around here but funnily enough, that doesn't seem to be very effective. "Clean what up? Oh, that. No. I don't want to" End of conversation.

  3. The people who go on the Jeremy Kyle (Aka God) show. Well actually, that's a sort of love-hate thing. They're great entertainment but god it's scary that people like this are populating this country at such an alarming rate. The uneducated, unemployed, benefit claiming, hideously ugly, black toothed, 19 year old - pregnant - with - their - 5th-kid- scrunchie in hair - I'm on national TV and I'm wearing my best tracksuit - scum of this country, coming on TV and saying 'Errr nerrr I errnly drink a litre of vodka a daaaay I'm not an alcoholic.' or 'It's not his kid it's Darrennnn's kid coz I only slept with Alan once and then it was Dave but he says it's not his serrrr it must be Darrreennn's can I have a DNA test to find out...'. ARRGGHHH! Have none of the girls heard of the contraceptive pill? IT'S FREE! But then so's your house if you have a baby I suppose, isn't it...Grrr.

    There was an actually classic show the other day though

    Boy: Me mam's kicked me outta the 'ouse. I don't know why, I just want a cuddle.
    Jezza Kyle: Alan. Is it not a fact that you told your mum you were going to kill her, and threatened to petrol bomb the house? True or false?

  4. The gargantuan walrus people who are about 50 stone and can't stop eating and then complain about it. I have nothing against fat people. I just can't stand it when they start complaining that they're not 'skinny like everyone else'. Do something about it then. Stop eating. Go to the gym. Walk instead of drive. Eat fruit instead of chocolate. Eat vegetables instead of cake. Don't sit around watching TV all day. This is not a bad hand you've been dealt by the world, this is your hand dealing your mouth too much food.

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