Tuesday, 27 February 2007

Rankus Mingingus

Oh how I wish the person who walks their dog down my little avenue cul de sac dead end footpath type thing that my house is located on would STOP allowing it to shit everywhere...seriously, it's like a weekly thing. Just as soon as the last lot gets washed away along comes Rover the Poo Dog and dumps another load. Which someone invariably steps in and then wipes over the rest of the pavement. ARRGGGHH.

On another poo related note, today I turned on the TV to watch while I ate my cornflakes and while channel flicking I saw a rhino and thought 'oh that'll do, a nice zoo programme'. So I settled down to watch the rhino zoo programme only for it to switch almost immediately into a full investigation of their large poos. As if watching poo narrated by Ben Fogle for a full ten minutes wasn't enough, I then had to watch the poor sods who have to clean it up sifting through it on a huge muckheap and identifying the DIFFERENT TYPES OF POO for the cameras. 'Ooh this looks like giraffe poo....and here we have smaller poo, probably a meerkat (Paris??)...oh and this one, this large one is very smelly and probably elephant poo'. All this WHILE I WAS EATING MY CORNFLAKES.

'That's disgusting! Why didn't you turn over the channel?' I hear you cry.

Why? Oh because then it got really exciting (and our remote control is broken so changing the channel would entail getting up and walking across the living room when I only wanted something to watch while I ate my cornflakes. Then I was going to go upstairs again) and they showed us a load of dung beetles clawing their way through heaps of poo, and then introduced us to the zoo's prized dung beetle called Hercules (yes, that's right - they've named it), which doesn't eat poo like the rest of its friends but prefers dry fruit. Then they showed more poo.

I actually couldn't finish my bowl of cornflakes and had to switch off the TV, which I've never had to do from watching a daytime zoo programme I must admit. It was rankus mingingus and I thought you should all know about it. Poo has never been and will never be exciting and / or palatable viewing, even if it has been excreted from some exotic animal and is narrated by Ben Fogle. Fact.

The End

1 comment:

weenie said...

Yeah, but Fogle is a bit fit though, isn't he? :-)


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